Mystery Man has been way too attentive. Emailing me his funny ass remarks that he knows make me giggle. Yes, he is very quick witted and comes up with remarks that you don't expect and are damn funny. I missed those chats. An example, you know I am into advocating and lobbying for certain causes. I am very good at it because I have a deep passion for my beliefs. People have told me that I should consider a public political position. anyway, I told him...obviously with my secret life style a public position is out! his response.....yeah, forget the public position.....I will give you enough private positions that its worth the passing up!! hehehe
Twice a year, I go to the State Capitol and I advocate (once a year to the Federal level). I love it....I love making a difference. And I do. I fight for people who can't fight for themselves. I speak for people who can't speak for themselves. It's a huge passion of mine. It's my way of giving back and helping. Yes, a side of Cheri that many of you probably have never imagined. but it is a side of me that I feel very strongly about. And I am sure a lot of you know I can have balls. I am tough....especially when it comes to these topics....but the political figures don't expect it from me. Why? Because I come in as a blonde with a sweet smile. I am respectful BUT I know what my goals are. So, while most people go up and ask people to support certain bills. Not me.....I push it further. I request that they co-sponsor bills. Why? It's immediate response....its proving to me that you mean what you say. So......happily I walked away having three of the five people I met filling out the co-sponsor form in front of me. And yes, I will follow up and yes, I will make sure that they are on there. To me that proves results....and it gives me a high that nothing else in life gives me!!!!
Democrats, Republicans, Independents........I have to admit it. To me, I don't give a shit what you are. And in a very sweet way, I tell them that. The bullshit that goes on there is absolutely ridiculous......it actually angers me. HELLO? do you really think that people care about Democrats and Republicans...how they play games with bills etc.etc. My response to them as they each complain about the other....I look them in the Eye and I say "I don't care which party you are affiliated with. And quite frankly, I don't think most Americans care.....they want results. They want to be able to pay their bills. they want to be able to take care of their families. I want to see your voting record on the laws. I want to see how many laws you actually were there to vote for. I want to see that you are representing the issues that are important to me.....so, if you do....you will get my vote. I have no problem crossing political lines!" I know politics is a touchy issue. We all have our beliefs but damn....look what they stand for. Personally, I think they all lost site of what politics mean and why they are there. It reminds me of the family feuds of years ago....generation after generation they keep it going. and truth, they don't know why they are fighting.
I could write a whole blog just on my dealings with the government. and quite frankly, it would make your head spin. The waste of money that I see, the way they push around the weakest people..I'm not talking about people who can help themselves, I am talking about those who are elderly or disabled...if you only knew how they purposely make it almost impossible for these people to get help. yes, they have the programs BUT they forget to tell the American people that they make them fight for a year, bogging them down in paperwork where most people give up. okay, I will stop because it makes me nuts. Anyway, I did good. I feel good about it. And I wish I had the strength to do more. But you all know my situation...I need to keep that roof over my head. All I can say is...they better watch out if I ever get my shit together....lol
Whew....sorry back to Mystery Man. He's asking questions, he's wanting to know more about me. And yet, I don't even know his full name. So today I wrote...damn, you are asking a lot of questions about my deep inner feelings....for someone who won't answer three questions that I have...What is your last name? Why did you leave? Can you promise me that you are not going to do that again?
I am realistic right now and quite frankly, I am feeling good. the best move I made was to see him again. Yes, besides from the mind blowing sex, I know that he misses me and he admitted that the sex for him too is mindblowing. A connection he has never had before. At least I know that he feels that way. However, I am realistic that we are going to continue to hit those walls unless he is willing to give a little. I refuse to take down my wall. It's really high and i told him that today. I won't see him this week (I had said I was too busy--I could have, but I didn't want to). I don't know if I will see him next week...although he wants to see me because it is my birthday....
Actually for my birthday, I have chosen to see Mr. Porsche. Which says a lot to me and surprised me too. Yes, he has moved up to the #1 position. The sex is great...and he cares about me. He respects who I am and what I do. He listens to my day..bad or good...and gives me constructive advice. He supports me, he makes me laugh...he's my friend and my lover. And, if I am slipping....I can call him and I don't have to have any walls--he will send that support right over the phone and get me back on track. Yes, he is the total package for me. He has his shit, he shares some and I support him as well. He doesn't like to share it, I pull it out of him. Everyone needs a little leaning and I know he appreciates when I listen. Yes, I want him to be with me on my birthday.
Okay, I wrote a novel. computer damn thing....is still not fixed. Dell sent the wrong recovery disk. I want to strangle them...I will never buy a Dell again. And the Geek Squad...gotta tell ya..unless you find someone there that cares....forget it. they gave me a back up disk...with 4 files on it. I ran back crying...oh, it would take hours to back it up is what they told me. Excuse me...I paid you to back up alll my files......chop chop...I got the hours, want me to stand here with ya? Miraculously, the files were backed up in 1 hour!
Okay, gotta work....Ciao babies!!!
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Brain Dead Computer
yes, I got the official call. Ms. Moore, your computer is brain dead, we are sorry. Now this is not good but the way they told me I found it quite humorous...poor thing has been in ICU and now....yes, its time to pull the plug. However, the good news, all the data is there and a new heart I mean hard drive and it will be up and running.
Here's the thing. You don't expect the computer to croak so I never cleared out the memory. Yes, all my photos....those explicit ones are right on the drive. So as I was standing there going over files, I told him just transfer it, you don't have to pull it up.
Now here's the funny part. The Agent (that's what they call themselves) said loudly, this Rendezvous Radio Podcast file is huge to transfer....with that, one of the technicians looks up.....you listen to that podcast? I listened to all those episodes, great show but she stopped podcasting. Oh dear, I wanted to hide under the table....quietly I said, Yeah, like the podcast in a disguised voice....oh man, the geek squad is going to know who I am. If they actually look at the files its not too hard to find out.
So, I wanted to crawl in a hole. the first disk they saved for me had my tit on it. That's it, one nipple shot was saved from all my files. This one had it all. A little pout and they saved all my files....YEAH!!!
so that's why I haven't been writing much. I have no computer.
As for Mystery Man....we have spoken 3 times a day. He has now mentioned a threesome. I am not sharing him. Case close...I enjoy three hours of him. He's disappointed...I refuse. There is trust missing now...And I failed sharing in Kindergarten...I want him to myself. Let's see where that progresses. He's acting like nothing happened. I am still with my walls way up and they will stay.
Mr. Porsche..what an amazing man. I am so far behind on my sexual posts. when it rains it pours. Mr. Porsche and I met the other night for coffee....some footsie and a little sucking in the car. We played footsie while we were drinking coffee. We went out to his car...we sucked face, he ravaged my tits and I went down on him and sucked him till he was as hard as a rock..A quick meeting but we both enjoyed it. I just enjoy him, his company. Our relationship..its friendship, its sexual, its actually very close to what I want. He makes me feel secure. I like that. I know he is there tomorrow...I know he will be there for me. My birthday is next week. While I was waiting for the computer I was looking around at the tvs. Quite frankly, I have a 13 inch in my bedroom now. Unheard of...but all the tvs broke and this is what I was left with....I wanted to buy myself a present.....I told him I was looking to buy myself a present...he said, pick it out and I will pay for it...now if I was looking at an MP3 or a clock radio...that's a different story..but a television..he can't do that. But I cried. i cried because it was the nicest thing someone offered to do for me. Sometimes its the gesture not the actual purchase.
Let's see, I gotta put in so much...so much as happened. i saw Mr. electic on Saturday.....what a time for computer issues....I have so much to write. yes, I am happy right now. I am very content. Financially, I am beginning to see a little light this month. I made the payment without my husband. A big thing for me. Woo Hoo!! All this shit is happening but things are still looking up!!
Here's the thing. You don't expect the computer to croak so I never cleared out the memory. Yes, all my photos....those explicit ones are right on the drive. So as I was standing there going over files, I told him just transfer it, you don't have to pull it up.
Now here's the funny part. The Agent (that's what they call themselves) said loudly, this Rendezvous Radio Podcast file is huge to transfer....with that, one of the technicians looks up.....you listen to that podcast? I listened to all those episodes, great show but she stopped podcasting. Oh dear, I wanted to hide under the table....quietly I said, Yeah, like the podcast in a disguised voice....oh man, the geek squad is going to know who I am. If they actually look at the files its not too hard to find out.
So, I wanted to crawl in a hole. the first disk they saved for me had my tit on it. That's it, one nipple shot was saved from all my files. This one had it all. A little pout and they saved all my files....YEAH!!!
so that's why I haven't been writing much. I have no computer.
As for Mystery Man....we have spoken 3 times a day. He has now mentioned a threesome. I am not sharing him. Case close...I enjoy three hours of him. He's disappointed...I refuse. There is trust missing now...And I failed sharing in Kindergarten...I want him to myself. Let's see where that progresses. He's acting like nothing happened. I am still with my walls way up and they will stay.
Mr. Porsche..what an amazing man. I am so far behind on my sexual posts. when it rains it pours. Mr. Porsche and I met the other night for coffee....some footsie and a little sucking in the car. We played footsie while we were drinking coffee. We went out to his car...we sucked face, he ravaged my tits and I went down on him and sucked him till he was as hard as a rock..A quick meeting but we both enjoyed it. I just enjoy him, his company. Our relationship..its friendship, its sexual, its actually very close to what I want. He makes me feel secure. I like that. I know he is there tomorrow...I know he will be there for me. My birthday is next week. While I was waiting for the computer I was looking around at the tvs. Quite frankly, I have a 13 inch in my bedroom now. Unheard of...but all the tvs broke and this is what I was left with....I wanted to buy myself a present.....I told him I was looking to buy myself a present...he said, pick it out and I will pay for it...now if I was looking at an MP3 or a clock radio...that's a different story..but a television..he can't do that. But I cried. i cried because it was the nicest thing someone offered to do for me. Sometimes its the gesture not the actual purchase.
Let's see, I gotta put in so much...so much as happened. i saw Mr. electic on Saturday.....what a time for computer issues....I have so much to write. yes, I am happy right now. I am very content. Financially, I am beginning to see a little light this month. I made the payment without my husband. A big thing for me. Woo Hoo!! All this shit is happening but things are still looking up!!
Monday, February 25, 2008
IT's Raining Frogs
Sorry to leave you hanging. I have no computer access and what little I have is on the hubby's computer so my selection of sites I visit (including my own) has been limited.
Wow, all I can say is wow!! When I walked in, I just sat down in the chair and he made the bed...I'll watch I said...I'm going to be a princess today....why should today be any different? we both laughed. Yes, my guard was up but he expected it. he knew I was going to be there and be a hard ass at first. Some minor chit chat and I knew I wanted him. We play the old cat and mouse. Like a chess game, we are both teasing and spitting sarcastic remarks. He leaned over me and I brushed his cock...oh he was glad to see me. women can hide it, men can't. He pulled out some lubricant mist. Now we all know how wet I get....so I commented....yeah, good thinking, I might need that today....ZING...he laughed. Yeah, that's why I bought it just because I thought you might be dry like a desert....
I stood up....threw a bottle of water at him.....we always bring water...this time I brought the brand Smart Water. Seemed appropriate. I bought this because you need this..maybe it will smarten you up a little bit. I brought a bottle for me too, because I obviously need it too for even showing up here...he moved closer to me....he kissed me.....I kissed him gently back, and then BOOM....electricity struck.....passion, desire......."You are such a dick" I said to him and then we began attacking each other.....sucking face like we were in heat. It was so intense....he threw me up against the wall, you know I am a dick. And then we started to undress each other.
He was so damn hard and I could feel the wetness......he was totally undreseed...I wasn't sure what I wanted yet....yes, I knew I wanted him but part of me was torn. I threw him on the bed....he had his underwear on...and I slowly said hello to his cock. Now him, I missed. I said....too bad your a package...and we both laughed as I winked and I said that. Yes, I was going to suck his cock like I have never sucked him. Oh yes, he was going to remember what he gave up. And so I went to work...ironically, I forgot some of the things he likes. I couldn't remember how he likes his balls played with (nice and slow and cupped).....but I did remember that he loved when I pulled his cock down....2nd gear....I said....he loves when I look up at him and he loves to watch me suck. DEEP is his thing...he loves to feel my back of my throat gag. He was moaning....I licked, I sucked, I did twirls with my tongue, I sucked the head, I circled it with my tongue....and then I would dive down...fully taking him in my mouth. Oh God......was all he could say. Moans...oh he missed my lips.
Now he flipped me over.....and undressed me as we were kissing....placing his fingers so deep inside of me....yes, he can find my G Spot.....We don't seem to need that mist he laughed. And then he went down on me........he was determined to make me cum before we fucked. And he knows how to do it.....do you like sucks or licks. Both were driving me crazy as he fingered me with two or three fingers. Hitting my Gspot, I could hear myself moaning, I was in another world now......and my whole body began to convulse. "Fuck Me" I said. "No you are going to beg"....not today baby, I won't beg....so just fuck me.... And so he did.
With my feet over my head, with my legs opened wide....pounding and thrusting so damn fast....pulling all the way out and the ramming it in....the anticipation....the depth.....there I was orgasming again. Now he pulled me off the bed and he fucked me from behind...my favorite position......oh....that was amazing...I swear, we fucked so many different positions...on my side, from behind with me lying down....missionary.....I don't think we missed a beat.
In the middle of one of the coldest days of the year and we are sweating, both of us, hot sweat pouring from us. And the screams, I moan...but I never scream..today I was screaming....And then as he is pounding me from behind...he whispers in my ear "No one fucks you like I do, do they?" And I didn't have to answer, he knew the answer...."No one" came out of my mouth...and then the passion got even hotter....
I came 4-5 times.....multiples....it was unbelievable....but we weren't done yet....I had asked for red neon lights.....perfect for the devil...and he had gotten them. The mirrors are all over the room, above the bed, on the ceiling on the sides....everywhere.....so now he is in that position...that position that we connect in....me lying on my stomach, him inside of me from behind....and we can look at each other through the mirror....I entwine our fingers.....and I looked into his eyes in the mirror....he threw me a kiss....I blushed and I bit my bottom lip. Remember that? He had told that 'other girl on ashley" about the bottom lip biting. I knew that drives him crazy...he smiled and kissed me neck and then whispered in my ear. you are so gorgeous and amazing!
There were no breaks this time.....3 hours of intense sex...continous. I have to stop here but I will continue tomorrow. Anal....yes, it was wild. And of course, how did we end it? Well I'll tell ya tomorrow....and I also met with Mr. electricity yesterday....
Wow, all I can say is wow!! When I walked in, I just sat down in the chair and he made the bed...I'll watch I said...I'm going to be a princess today....why should today be any different? we both laughed. Yes, my guard was up but he expected it. he knew I was going to be there and be a hard ass at first. Some minor chit chat and I knew I wanted him. We play the old cat and mouse. Like a chess game, we are both teasing and spitting sarcastic remarks. He leaned over me and I brushed his cock...oh he was glad to see me. women can hide it, men can't. He pulled out some lubricant mist. Now we all know how wet I get....so I commented....yeah, good thinking, I might need that today....ZING...he laughed. Yeah, that's why I bought it just because I thought you might be dry like a desert....
I stood up....threw a bottle of water at him.....we always bring water...this time I brought the brand Smart Water. Seemed appropriate. I bought this because you need this..maybe it will smarten you up a little bit. I brought a bottle for me too, because I obviously need it too for even showing up here...he moved closer to me....he kissed me.....I kissed him gently back, and then BOOM....electricity struck.....passion, desire......."You are such a dick" I said to him and then we began attacking each other.....sucking face like we were in heat. It was so intense....he threw me up against the wall, you know I am a dick. And then we started to undress each other.
He was so damn hard and I could feel the wetness......he was totally undreseed...I wasn't sure what I wanted yet....yes, I knew I wanted him but part of me was torn. I threw him on the bed....he had his underwear on...and I slowly said hello to his cock. Now him, I missed. I said....too bad your a package...and we both laughed as I winked and I said that. Yes, I was going to suck his cock like I have never sucked him. Oh yes, he was going to remember what he gave up. And so I went to work...ironically, I forgot some of the things he likes. I couldn't remember how he likes his balls played with (nice and slow and cupped).....but I did remember that he loved when I pulled his cock down....2nd gear....I said....he loves when I look up at him and he loves to watch me suck. DEEP is his thing...he loves to feel my back of my throat gag. He was moaning....I licked, I sucked, I did twirls with my tongue, I sucked the head, I circled it with my tongue....and then I would dive down...fully taking him in my mouth. Oh God......was all he could say. Moans...oh he missed my lips.
Now he flipped me over.....and undressed me as we were kissing....placing his fingers so deep inside of me....yes, he can find my G Spot.....We don't seem to need that mist he laughed. And then he went down on me........he was determined to make me cum before we fucked. And he knows how to do it.....do you like sucks or licks. Both were driving me crazy as he fingered me with two or three fingers. Hitting my Gspot, I could hear myself moaning, I was in another world now......and my whole body began to convulse. "Fuck Me" I said. "No you are going to beg"....not today baby, I won't beg....so just fuck me.... And so he did.
With my feet over my head, with my legs opened wide....pounding and thrusting so damn fast....pulling all the way out and the ramming it in....the anticipation....the depth.....there I was orgasming again. Now he pulled me off the bed and he fucked me from behind...my favorite position......oh....that was amazing...I swear, we fucked so many different positions...on my side, from behind with me lying down....missionary.....I don't think we missed a beat.
In the middle of one of the coldest days of the year and we are sweating, both of us, hot sweat pouring from us. And the screams, I moan...but I never scream..today I was screaming....And then as he is pounding me from behind...he whispers in my ear "No one fucks you like I do, do they?" And I didn't have to answer, he knew the answer...."No one" came out of my mouth...and then the passion got even hotter....
I came 4-5 times.....multiples....it was unbelievable....but we weren't done yet....I had asked for red neon lights.....perfect for the devil...and he had gotten them. The mirrors are all over the room, above the bed, on the ceiling on the sides....everywhere.....so now he is in that position...that position that we connect in....me lying on my stomach, him inside of me from behind....and we can look at each other through the mirror....I entwine our fingers.....and I looked into his eyes in the mirror....he threw me a kiss....I blushed and I bit my bottom lip. Remember that? He had told that 'other girl on ashley" about the bottom lip biting. I knew that drives him crazy...he smiled and kissed me neck and then whispered in my ear. you are so gorgeous and amazing!
There were no breaks this time.....3 hours of intense sex...continous. I have to stop here but I will continue tomorrow. Anal....yes, it was wild. And of course, how did we end it? Well I'll tell ya tomorrow....and I also met with Mr. electricity yesterday....
Friday, February 22, 2008
3 Hours of Sex...Paradise
Well my computer had a stroke..and I am going through computer withdrawals right now. I mean I spend my life on the computer. Without it, I never realized how lost I am until now. I can't work, can't blog, can't communicate with online friends...its scary how I have time on my hands.
Yes, I met Mystery Man today. All I can say is OMG! I mean holy shit! I don't know why sex with him is outrageous...I mean it is mind blowing. I have had great sex before with other people. Actually Mr, Porsche is really great. But something about me and Mystery Man....its a connection I can't even put into words. WOW!
Yes, three hours of sex in about 20 positions (literally)....anal sex like I have never had it, he came in my mouth which he has never done.....he pounded me until I couldn't take it anymore. In fac, I was like jello, my body was shaking and I couldn't even talk. Baby, now I know what it takes to shut you up!...we both giggled. Seriously, my whole body was in an unbelievable state. It almost felt like a dream.
Why is sex so good with him? I mean I came 4 or 5 times....I really couldn
t cum anymore....I've never felt like that....
I will give details over the weekend.....but I wanted to just post. Was it all great? I don't know. I left there a happy but a little confused. I will explain. Truth is, MM has a real dark side to him. Yes, I sometimes think he is the devil. He did something funky, I will tell you tomorrow. Nothing bad....just a little off. There's something there...something that I know in my heart and mind, this may never be again. He may be gone. I will have to sort that all out.
But all I can say right now, is the euphoria he left me is unbelievable....my body is in paradise..I am still shaking hours later....I have never been fucked like this in my life. And quite honestly, everyone deserves to have sex like this.
More tomorrow..my poor computer.....can you imagine the fun the guy who is fixing my hard drive is having? Yeah, all those pix I was going to erase BUT never got a chance.....I told Mr. Porche he has to go pick up my computer I am mortified. He said, sweetie, they should pay you for having the honor of fixing your computer and being able to see the shots of your tits and pussy! lol Oh man, what a day. More happened..I will have to tell you about the strange call I got....
Take care...Sweet Wet Dreams..
Yes, I met Mystery Man today. All I can say is OMG! I mean holy shit! I don't know why sex with him is outrageous...I mean it is mind blowing. I have had great sex before with other people. Actually Mr, Porsche is really great. But something about me and Mystery Man....its a connection I can't even put into words. WOW!
Yes, three hours of sex in about 20 positions (literally)....anal sex like I have never had it, he came in my mouth which he has never done.....he pounded me until I couldn't take it anymore. In fac, I was like jello, my body was shaking and I couldn't even talk. Baby, now I know what it takes to shut you up!...we both giggled. Seriously, my whole body was in an unbelievable state. It almost felt like a dream.
Why is sex so good with him? I mean I came 4 or 5 times....I really couldn
t cum anymore....I've never felt like that....
I will give details over the weekend.....but I wanted to just post. Was it all great? I don't know. I left there a happy but a little confused. I will explain. Truth is, MM has a real dark side to him. Yes, I sometimes think he is the devil. He did something funky, I will tell you tomorrow. Nothing bad....just a little off. There's something there...something that I know in my heart and mind, this may never be again. He may be gone. I will have to sort that all out.
But all I can say right now, is the euphoria he left me is unbelievable....my body is in paradise..I am still shaking hours later....I have never been fucked like this in my life. And quite honestly, everyone deserves to have sex like this.
More tomorrow..my poor computer.....can you imagine the fun the guy who is fixing my hard drive is having? Yeah, all those pix I was going to erase BUT never got a chance.....I told Mr. Porche he has to go pick up my computer I am mortified. He said, sweetie, they should pay you for having the honor of fixing your computer and being able to see the shots of your tits and pussy! lol Oh man, what a day. More happened..I will have to tell you about the strange call I got....
Take care...Sweet Wet Dreams..
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Worse case, its a good by fuck
I went upstairs and laid down. The silence did me good. What should I do? Part of me says.....you fucking idiot....you have the nerve to place demands on me after you just took off?
And then part of me thinks, this is my opportunity for my good by fuck. The closure in my heart. True closure. Look at him one last time,kiss him one last time and as I give him that last kiss....I know it is goodby. Yes, the closure that I need in my heart. Reality? I won't be able to continue anything more. The fear that he will leave again. I can't.
So......yes, I think I am going to go. Worse case, I can't fuck him. I can tell him to go fuck himself....I can do what I want. But I got that one last chance and I get to say good by. YES, I am going to get him to our paradise. It will be sex filled with anger and passion if it does happen....
Wish me luck....
And then part of me thinks, this is my opportunity for my good by fuck. The closure in my heart. True closure. Look at him one last time,kiss him one last time and as I give him that last kiss....I know it is goodby. Yes, the closure that I need in my heart. Reality? I won't be able to continue anything more. The fear that he will leave again. I can't.
So......yes, I think I am going to go. Worse case, I can't fuck him. I can tell him to go fuck himself....I can do what I want. But I got that one last chance and I get to say good by. YES, I am going to get him to our paradise. It will be sex filled with anger and passion if it does happen....
Wish me luck....
So, what do I do?!?!!
So, do you wanna FUCK tomorrow?
Two Caveats
1-NO QUESTIONS
2-NO EXPECTATIONS
Yes or No?
Yes, this is the email from Mystery Man. Part of me should ignore the note, part of me wants to write back no....and part of me says...its our good by fuck....
So, my mind is flipping....what do I do???? HELP!!!! Obviously I only have a few hours to decide
Two Caveats
1-NO QUESTIONS
2-NO EXPECTATIONS
Yes or No?
Yes, this is the email from Mystery Man. Part of me should ignore the note, part of me wants to write back no....and part of me says...its our good by fuck....
So, my mind is flipping....what do I do???? HELP!!!! Obviously I only have a few hours to decide
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Stop Playing With Your Cock Already
Oh man....he is unbelievable. My husband of course. A friend made us pork tonight (I am not a big fan but quite frankly, we have all been getting sick tonight from it).
My husband is sitting on the couch. Sadly I can't show the man any emotion at all. He was playing with himself (you know when a guy plays with his dick rubbing it) as he was talking to me. I was trying to ignore what he was doing. I kept asking him to take care of something and he just sat there (playing with himself). Now normally, I would NEVER say anything. Remember, I am that sweet innocent, sexless, wife. Well, I couldn't take it anymore....out of no where I scream..... "Can you stop playing with your cock already and take care of it ?"
His face was priceless (oh I don't think he ever heard me say the word cock). He was shocked (I was shocked that I said it). I had to walk out of the room because I started to giggle to myself. Wow first time ever that side of me has surfaced in my home! Miss Prim and Proper~~hehehe
Then he started on the pork. Like a little kid saying it over and over again. Hey--you wanna get porked? I totally ignored him. Then he turns to the dog and says "Mommy doesn't like me anymore." I didn't respond and he said it again and once more. Okay, was he trying to push me....it took every inch of my being not to look up from the computer and say "You are right. I want a divorce." Is he truly that blind? I know he was toying with me. Mistake.
The man has no worries. It's amazing. He just thinks that I will figure out a way to make it work as I always do.
Mr Porsche has returned from a long weekend. I love our conversations...he's my friend. I feel so comfortable with him. We joke, we talk, he cares about my work, my day, my kids. He asks more about the kids than my husband. He'a really a great guy. I do confess. I didn't call him today....why? I guess the fear that something happened while he was away for the weekend and he wanted to end it. Well, he doesn't. I'm happy, I enjoy him.
My husband is sitting on the couch. Sadly I can't show the man any emotion at all. He was playing with himself (you know when a guy plays with his dick rubbing it) as he was talking to me. I was trying to ignore what he was doing. I kept asking him to take care of something and he just sat there (playing with himself). Now normally, I would NEVER say anything. Remember, I am that sweet innocent, sexless, wife. Well, I couldn't take it anymore....out of no where I scream..... "Can you stop playing with your cock already and take care of it ?"
His face was priceless (oh I don't think he ever heard me say the word cock). He was shocked (I was shocked that I said it). I had to walk out of the room because I started to giggle to myself. Wow first time ever that side of me has surfaced in my home! Miss Prim and Proper~~hehehe
Then he started on the pork. Like a little kid saying it over and over again. Hey--you wanna get porked? I totally ignored him. Then he turns to the dog and says "Mommy doesn't like me anymore." I didn't respond and he said it again and once more. Okay, was he trying to push me....it took every inch of my being not to look up from the computer and say "You are right. I want a divorce." Is he truly that blind? I know he was toying with me. Mistake.
The man has no worries. It's amazing. He just thinks that I will figure out a way to make it work as I always do.
Mr Porsche has returned from a long weekend. I love our conversations...he's my friend. I feel so comfortable with him. We joke, we talk, he cares about my work, my day, my kids. He asks more about the kids than my husband. He'a really a great guy. I do confess. I didn't call him today....why? I guess the fear that something happened while he was away for the weekend and he wanted to end it. Well, he doesn't. I'm happy, I enjoy him.
Sex Sex and more sex!
I was looking at one of my affiliate programs (they sent a job ad) anyway, the top banner just had me giggling....I loved it. Then I decided, here are some links for your amusement. I was so impressed with the Webcam network.....I guess that regular looking people were up there. It's like the stuff I do with the frogs in a way....pretty wild.....I guess I am naive in a way, I didn't know there was a place you could go and do amateur cams like that......anyway, I hope the top banner is working....that was my favorite! IT was dripping cum...so hysterical. Damn, I don't think its working....anyway, look at the pix...you can imagine. Want the toys? Click on the acrobat banner below!! lol The things that make me giggle!!
Webcam Network
Viagara, Celias & Other Hard Cock Meds!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Fairy Tales Do Come True?
Fairy Tale
This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us girls when we were little: Once upon a time ~~~~~~~~in a land far away,~~~~~~~~a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess~~~~~~~~happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.~~~~~~~~The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: " Elegant Lady,I was once a handsome prince,until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.~~~~~~~~One kiss from you, however,and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am~~~~~~~~and then, my sweet, we can marry~~~~~~~~and set up housekeeping in your castle~~~~~~~~with my mother,~~~~~~~~where you can prepare my meals,~~~~~~~~clean my clothes, bear my children,~~~~~~~~and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. "~~~~~~~~That night,~~~~~~~~as the princess dined sumptuously~~~~~~~~on lightly sauteed frog legs~~~~~~~~seasoned in a white wine ~~~~~~~and onion cream sauce,~~~~~~~~she chuckled and thought to herself:~~~~~~~~I don't think so.
This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us girls when we were little: Once upon a time ~~~~~~~~in a land far away,~~~~~~~~a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess~~~~~~~~happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.~~~~~~~~The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: " Elegant Lady,I was once a handsome prince,until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.~~~~~~~~One kiss from you, however,and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am~~~~~~~~and then, my sweet, we can marry~~~~~~~~and set up housekeeping in your castle~~~~~~~~with my mother,~~~~~~~~where you can prepare my meals,~~~~~~~~clean my clothes, bear my children,~~~~~~~~and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. "~~~~~~~~That night,~~~~~~~~as the princess dined sumptuously~~~~~~~~on lightly sauteed frog legs~~~~~~~~seasoned in a white wine ~~~~~~~and onion cream sauce,~~~~~~~~she chuckled and thought to herself:~~~~~~~~I don't think so.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Hustling to make a living!
My daughter is doing ok. My theory is don't think bad. Go into denial. When the biopsy comes back, I have time to worry...so...I am going to think positive.
So where have I been? I realized I never wrote about my encounter with Mr. Porsche last week. Well, I am too tired right now but I gotta tell ya...it was wonderful. I walked into the room as a stressball.....I waked out of the room.....so relaxed, so focused and so content.
I was an easy mark last week. He has found all those magic spots in no time. Able to make me cum over and over and over again...YUM! Yes, it was hot. No ropes but he did manage to grab my hands so I couldn't move them. And as I reached a climax from him hitting my g-spot...he works even harder "let go baby, let go".
We fucked in quite a few positions and even a little anal......for some reason, maybe because my butt muscles are so tight, but anal makes me wild...I have immediate orgasms. the area still is a little funky for me but I try to not think about it.
And for him. He loves when I lick his balls and suck his cock. Even a little rim job and one finger pressing against his prostate. Damn, that makes him cum so damn hard. It sets him off keel a little but this time he was a little better. Wow, that was wild. Yes it shocks him how I can get him to cum so much. And swallow....yes, I swallowed every last drip...mmmmmmm......quite a mouthful there.
that turns him on that I swallow his cum!
So, we cuddled, we showered, we talked and we fucked again. Yes, I have to say it was a relaxing afternoon. I hate when it has to come to an end. But it did. He kissed me and we said good by.
You know what is nice about our relationship. I feel secure. I am not worried that he is going to disappear...although he may one day. But it would be with a little warning unlike others. That makes a healthier relationship. I need that foundation.
We are friends.
Talking about friends...Springer and I talk about 10 times a day. Sex is the farthest thing from our minds. I cannot believe he is the same guy who made my legs shake from oral. Well, we are good friends. It's nice. Funny how things work out.
As for me? I have been working insanely. I gotta get the mortgage payment. I have till the end of the month. No idea how I am going to do it. but I have no choice. Pay or Lose the house. That's what is going on now. 6 months probation. Wish me luck!
So where have I been? I realized I never wrote about my encounter with Mr. Porsche last week. Well, I am too tired right now but I gotta tell ya...it was wonderful. I walked into the room as a stressball.....I waked out of the room.....so relaxed, so focused and so content.
I was an easy mark last week. He has found all those magic spots in no time. Able to make me cum over and over and over again...YUM! Yes, it was hot. No ropes but he did manage to grab my hands so I couldn't move them. And as I reached a climax from him hitting my g-spot...he works even harder "let go baby, let go".
We fucked in quite a few positions and even a little anal......for some reason, maybe because my butt muscles are so tight, but anal makes me wild...I have immediate orgasms. the area still is a little funky for me but I try to not think about it.
And for him. He loves when I lick his balls and suck his cock. Even a little rim job and one finger pressing against his prostate. Damn, that makes him cum so damn hard. It sets him off keel a little but this time he was a little better. Wow, that was wild. Yes it shocks him how I can get him to cum so much. And swallow....yes, I swallowed every last drip...mmmmmmm......quite a mouthful there.
that turns him on that I swallow his cum!
So, we cuddled, we showered, we talked and we fucked again. Yes, I have to say it was a relaxing afternoon. I hate when it has to come to an end. But it did. He kissed me and we said good by.
You know what is nice about our relationship. I feel secure. I am not worried that he is going to disappear...although he may one day. But it would be with a little warning unlike others. That makes a healthier relationship. I need that foundation.
We are friends.
Talking about friends...Springer and I talk about 10 times a day. Sex is the farthest thing from our minds. I cannot believe he is the same guy who made my legs shake from oral. Well, we are good friends. It's nice. Funny how things work out.
As for me? I have been working insanely. I gotta get the mortgage payment. I have till the end of the month. No idea how I am going to do it. but I have no choice. Pay or Lose the house. That's what is going on now. 6 months probation. Wish me luck!
Friday, February 15, 2008
Only To Me---An I Love Lucy Moment
Today was so stressful. My daughter had surgery. what was going to be 1 hour...three hours later I still didn't hear from the surgeon. Panicked....well thankfully Mr. Porsche and Mr. Electric were there for me. Trying to calm me. They are so special to me, I appreciate their concern and their love.
So the I Love Lucy.........For some of your old readers of my blog you will probably get a real hoot out of this one....
Surgery was a disaster....poor thing is in such pain. Successful? somewhat. They did find something that is scary but I am not going to think about it yet. Anyway, a day with the hubby was way too much. I told him to empty stuff out of the I told him to Valet (he doesn't listen to either) AND the car gets broken into. He pulls up in front of the hospital to pick us up and we proceed back to where he parked and wait for the police.
Now, what is the chances that I know one person in that area. Soldier Boy...remember him? That single, hot, super hot soldier that I had a little rendezvous two years ago? Well as my luck would have it, it is his house (yes, HIS HOUSE) my car was broken in at. The police cars pull up and my husband is removing some of the stuff from his lawn that blew onto it. Yes, with the police car outside his house, he does look out the window.
Oh man, this is going to be interesting. Please don't come down. How would I explain knowing him? Thankfully he didn't recognize my car (or he did and decided it was best not to come out). Quite frankly, the way my day was going, I am surprised that the car didn't catch on fire and some of the firemen I know didn't show up or even more Mr. Government (okay...now if he had to show up, then I was really in trouble!)
So, what an I love Lucy moment.....actually considering the stress, it was pretty funny that it was literally in front of his house....he did look good. Yummy, yummy thoughts of soldier boy tonight. I just pulled his pix up on Ashley Madison. He hasn't been on there in over a year, but his pix is still visible. Yes, now there is some delicious boy toy material.....lips watering.....
I just answered Mystery Man.
Hmmmmmm.......Dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight......yes, we have both danced with him on quite a few occasions. Personally, I seem to have found that I like variation in the lead......however, its truly not the lead but the actual dance style that you choose. So many types of dance styles.....which do you choose? Yes, the flashbacks of dancing with the devil in the neon lights.....so many color choices, so many dance styles!! Any preference?
And a Happy Valentines Day to you too!!
So the I Love Lucy.........For some of your old readers of my blog you will probably get a real hoot out of this one....
Surgery was a disaster....poor thing is in such pain. Successful? somewhat. They did find something that is scary but I am not going to think about it yet. Anyway, a day with the hubby was way too much. I told him to empty stuff out of the I told him to Valet (he doesn't listen to either) AND the car gets broken into. He pulls up in front of the hospital to pick us up and we proceed back to where he parked and wait for the police.
Now, what is the chances that I know one person in that area. Soldier Boy...remember him? That single, hot, super hot soldier that I had a little rendezvous two years ago? Well as my luck would have it, it is his house (yes, HIS HOUSE) my car was broken in at. The police cars pull up and my husband is removing some of the stuff from his lawn that blew onto it. Yes, with the police car outside his house, he does look out the window.
Oh man, this is going to be interesting. Please don't come down. How would I explain knowing him? Thankfully he didn't recognize my car (or he did and decided it was best not to come out). Quite frankly, the way my day was going, I am surprised that the car didn't catch on fire and some of the firemen I know didn't show up or even more Mr. Government (okay...now if he had to show up, then I was really in trouble!)
So, what an I love Lucy moment.....actually considering the stress, it was pretty funny that it was literally in front of his house....he did look good. Yummy, yummy thoughts of soldier boy tonight. I just pulled his pix up on Ashley Madison. He hasn't been on there in over a year, but his pix is still visible. Yes, now there is some delicious boy toy material.....lips watering.....
I just answered Mystery Man.
Hmmmmmm.......Dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight......yes, we have both danced with him on quite a few occasions. Personally, I seem to have found that I like variation in the lead......however, its truly not the lead but the actual dance style that you choose. So many types of dance styles.....which do you choose? Yes, the flashbacks of dancing with the devil in the neon lights.....so many color choices, so many dance styles!! Any preference?
And a Happy Valentines Day to you too!!
Yes, the Devil Dance
Well I guess I got thrown because there is a song that sounds like one he would listen to called the Dancing with the Devil. So I was looking at the lyrics and they weren't an exact fit....(at least I hope not..it was more of a good by (death) song)...
I think you are all right. Scarlett, John and others who personally emailed me basically said the same thing. And yes, I can see him saying that and meaning that. And now to have to think of a hot remark back.......
Yes, I think he is thinking about me and I am glad. Funny, as my thoughts have lessened (not the desire) his are seeming to haunt him again. Okay, I know I didn't help with the poem.....he's giving me a taste of my own medicine. Actually I am turned on by his erotic and intellectual approach....his words and emails always did it for me. sigh....
Yes, I would love to fuck him again.....but I don't know if I can. There is so much hurt there. It was hot, because of how we interacted.....I will always fear he would disappear again. Oh well....I am going to respond later tonight.
And quite honestly, the fact that he did it on Valentine's Day.....means that he was thinking about us and well, that definitely makes me happy.
Sigh...
Sent a nipple pix to Mr. Porsche....he almost forgot he got it. Hmm..think its time to back off a little there. Just so that he misses me just a little. things are fine with us, I just don't want him to start neglecting me....
I think you are all right. Scarlett, John and others who personally emailed me basically said the same thing. And yes, I can see him saying that and meaning that. And now to have to think of a hot remark back.......
Yes, I think he is thinking about me and I am glad. Funny, as my thoughts have lessened (not the desire) his are seeming to haunt him again. Okay, I know I didn't help with the poem.....he's giving me a taste of my own medicine. Actually I am turned on by his erotic and intellectual approach....his words and emails always did it for me. sigh....
Yes, I would love to fuck him again.....but I don't know if I can. There is so much hurt there. It was hot, because of how we interacted.....I will always fear he would disappear again. Oh well....I am going to respond later tonight.
And quite honestly, the fact that he did it on Valentine's Day.....means that he was thinking about us and well, that definitely makes me happy.
Sigh...
Sent a nipple pix to Mr. Porsche....he almost forgot he got it. Hmm..think its time to back off a little there. Just so that he misses me just a little. things are fine with us, I just don't want him to start neglecting me....
He told me it was the reference of the devil that made me think of him.
My response: Oh you must be right, the licking, sucking, oral fixation......had nothing to do with me thinking of you in the poem. It must be the devil but
I asked him: Who was the devil? Was it me or was it him?
And his response:
It's not a question of who's the devil, as we've both danced with him on numerous occasions. The real question is who is going to lead?
Happy V-Day
Okay, what does he mean by that? Anyone have a clue? I don't know where he's going with that or what to respond.....come on you quiet on lookers....I am baffled on what I should say.....there is a deep meaning there....he always has one. So what is he thinking when he wrote this? Oh its from Mystery Man..
My response: Oh you must be right, the licking, sucking, oral fixation......had nothing to do with me thinking of you in the poem. It must be the devil but
I asked him: Who was the devil? Was it me or was it him?
And his response:
It's not a question of who's the devil, as we've both danced with him on numerous occasions. The real question is who is going to lead?
Happy V-Day
Okay, what does he mean by that? Anyone have a clue? I don't know where he's going with that or what to respond.....come on you quiet on lookers....I am baffled on what I should say.....there is a deep meaning there....he always has one. So what is he thinking when he wrote this? Oh its from Mystery Man..
Thursday, February 14, 2008
An Okay Valentines Day
Hubby didn't wish me a Happy Valentine's Day. Glad in a way, shows me that he is feeling like I am.....the end is near.
A sad day today, unless you are in new love or true love. A day that I guess truly tests your heart. Yes, a day when you can see....where your love is. Are you excited to buy the present? Do you want to buy the present? Is there a part of you that dreads this day? Do you feel even more lonely on the day of love?
I had a nice day. I can't complain. Happy Valentine's Day from a few friends.....from a few lovers. Mr. Porsche called me a couple of times today........Mr. Electricity did too! And I got a bunch of calls and wishes from other frogs......and blogs.....lol Yes, I did feel that people did care. A sweet holiday. And honestly, not as lonely as I thought it would be. My MySpace friend calls me Milfalicious......it was great to get his note today and callYes, I am glad that the hubby didn't wish me a Happy Valentines Day...it would have been more hurtful.
So, I was truly okay where my head was today. Wow, the surgeon just came on to chat. Well I am off to bed....the baby has surgery in the morning....
Happy Valentines Day!!
A sad day today, unless you are in new love or true love. A day that I guess truly tests your heart. Yes, a day when you can see....where your love is. Are you excited to buy the present? Do you want to buy the present? Is there a part of you that dreads this day? Do you feel even more lonely on the day of love?
I had a nice day. I can't complain. Happy Valentine's Day from a few friends.....from a few lovers. Mr. Porsche called me a couple of times today........Mr. Electricity did too! And I got a bunch of calls and wishes from other frogs......and blogs.....lol Yes, I did feel that people did care. A sweet holiday. And honestly, not as lonely as I thought it would be. My MySpace friend calls me Milfalicious......it was great to get his note today and callYes, I am glad that the hubby didn't wish me a Happy Valentines Day...it would have been more hurtful.
So, I was truly okay where my head was today. Wow, the surgeon just came on to chat. Well I am off to bed....the baby has surgery in the morning....
Happy Valentines Day!!
Happy Lovers Day!!
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!!
An appropriate day for lovers.....yes, give love and be loved today!! xoxoxoxo
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
The Meeting Of The Divorce Attorney
I cried and cried and cried. My eyes are all puffy. But I do feel better. The lawyer said I was doing everything that I possibly could for my situation. The next step, its up to me. Serve him with papers or try to talk it out through mediation. Yes, I would win in a trial BUT in a case like that, you lose even though you win. Emotionally physically and monetarily. No, I don't want that.
He may have an opportunity here to do some sidework that really may pan out for him. We will have to see. Does it change my view? No. It's not the money, although that would help. We are not in love with each other anymore. We both deserve to find happiness. We both are miserable. We both deserve to find some relief. Sadly, I lose in all ways. Monetarily he doesn't have to pay much. He doesn't have to see the kids. He doesn't have to do anything but pay his percentage. Basically, I am like the man in this situation since I am making the money. Only thing, he is capable of working so that's in my favor.
The lawyer looked at me....I showed her what I have done. I told her my plan. Her answer...you are a very smart woman....you are doing exactly what you need to do to take care of your family fairly.
But what was the nicest of all...the outpouring of support today. My friends realized that I was sick that it has come to this. Many women go there with a anger and determination. Not me, I came out of there mentally drained. My phone ringing off the hook after for support. Two guys from my space (an attorney who gave me the lawyers name as well as a few others).
Mr. Porshe called before and then after. Giving his support and special words. He's not a mush...but he does like to be appreciated. He's a soft pussycat underneath that rough exterior. So I said to him....I want to tell you that you gave me the best gift that you could have already for Valentines.....he said what are you talking about? You gave me your friendship....that's all I needed...thank you......and you don't have to respond because I know you don't love mush but thank you for being there for me. You are welcome, very welcome, any time.
So to lighten the mood I said....well I expected you to be here waiting for me to get out with a stiff drink or a stiff cock.....Damn I need something stiff right now! He just started to laugh and we made plans to meet tomorrow......as he said, I need the escape......and I plan on escaping even if it is for just two to three hours.........sadly, I got him nothing for Valentines Day...crap.....he made me promise not to but you know I don't listen.....
Off the the lingerie store I guess in the morning......off to pick up at least some chocolates or something...I can't believe its Valentines Day already......crap....I better think about this so I can get it in the morning....sweet dreams.....I do feel better. Thank you all for your support!
xoxoxoox
He may have an opportunity here to do some sidework that really may pan out for him. We will have to see. Does it change my view? No. It's not the money, although that would help. We are not in love with each other anymore. We both deserve to find happiness. We both are miserable. We both deserve to find some relief. Sadly, I lose in all ways. Monetarily he doesn't have to pay much. He doesn't have to see the kids. He doesn't have to do anything but pay his percentage. Basically, I am like the man in this situation since I am making the money. Only thing, he is capable of working so that's in my favor.
The lawyer looked at me....I showed her what I have done. I told her my plan. Her answer...you are a very smart woman....you are doing exactly what you need to do to take care of your family fairly.
But what was the nicest of all...the outpouring of support today. My friends realized that I was sick that it has come to this. Many women go there with a anger and determination. Not me, I came out of there mentally drained. My phone ringing off the hook after for support. Two guys from my space (an attorney who gave me the lawyers name as well as a few others).
Mr. Porshe called before and then after. Giving his support and special words. He's not a mush...but he does like to be appreciated. He's a soft pussycat underneath that rough exterior. So I said to him....I want to tell you that you gave me the best gift that you could have already for Valentines.....he said what are you talking about? You gave me your friendship....that's all I needed...thank you......and you don't have to respond because I know you don't love mush but thank you for being there for me. You are welcome, very welcome, any time.
So to lighten the mood I said....well I expected you to be here waiting for me to get out with a stiff drink or a stiff cock.....Damn I need something stiff right now! He just started to laugh and we made plans to meet tomorrow......as he said, I need the escape......and I plan on escaping even if it is for just two to three hours.........sadly, I got him nothing for Valentines Day...crap.....he made me promise not to but you know I don't listen.....
Off the the lingerie store I guess in the morning......off to pick up at least some chocolates or something...I can't believe its Valentines Day already......crap....I better think about this so I can get it in the morning....sweet dreams.....I do feel better. Thank you all for your support!
xoxoxoox
When Do You Know?
when do you know that it is enough? When do you know when you have reached your limit and you can't do it anymore? He's not physically abusive....to me that would not even be up for discussion.
So when do you know its the end? I think I know. I know, I know. It is time.
I have been working to save the house with the mortgage company. My options are slim. I have no choice, I need to do this. I don't think I can afford to pay it but somehow I am going to have to do it.
Reality sunk in today. He's on unemployment....they request a few checkins. He's been going on interviews, he's been sending out resumes, they just require to see you are looking. He missed three appointments. They refuse to give him his check this week. Hence, the car payment was on me. To the bank I went......taking out the last of my funds.....
I've never been a quitter. I've never given up on anything in my life. But look when I am writing this....its 4AM...I am still working. I am hustling nonstop....I am dead. My kids don't sleep,I made him go lay with the one who was running around at 3AM. Not so I could sleep, but so I could finish working on a project. In 2 hours, I have to get up for the day....
I am not a religious person. But today, someone said to me that I am Job. Who is Job, I asked. It's someone in the Bible who God kept doing horrible things to and he still had the faith. I laughed and said I guess I am Jobess!!
Mr. Porsche is a street smart business man. I sat with him tonight on the phone (not really caring if my husband even heard--it was an advice session). Quite honestly I trust him and his business sense. So he confirmed many of the things I was thinking, many of the directions I was considering as options. I hesitated to tell him my shit (I would never tell Mystery Man) but with him its different. We are friends first. The truth--he was so angry. Tell him to get a fucking job sweeping the streets...damn it, he needs to start helping you. You can't do it alone.
What I wanted to do was just crawl into his arms....release some of my anxiety and tears and crawl up like a little girl just for a few minutes and absorb some of his strength.
Okay, I have to get two hours. Today I have meetings and a big day at the lawyers. And you know my thoughts, every day is a new day. Well I have to get at least an hour of sleep to declare that! I will wake up tomorrow and gather the information I need for the lawyer. Ironically Divorce Attorney called me today to meet. I told him I can't, I have a meeting with a divorce attorney. Save your money, he said....I will take you to lunch and give you free advice. Honestly, he wants me...not an actual impartial person AND I am too embarrassed for him to see all my shit.
Sigh...tomorrow will be better....right?
So when do you know its the end? I think I know. I know, I know. It is time.
I have been working to save the house with the mortgage company. My options are slim. I have no choice, I need to do this. I don't think I can afford to pay it but somehow I am going to have to do it.
Reality sunk in today. He's on unemployment....they request a few checkins. He's been going on interviews, he's been sending out resumes, they just require to see you are looking. He missed three appointments. They refuse to give him his check this week. Hence, the car payment was on me. To the bank I went......taking out the last of my funds.....
I've never been a quitter. I've never given up on anything in my life. But look when I am writing this....its 4AM...I am still working. I am hustling nonstop....I am dead. My kids don't sleep,I made him go lay with the one who was running around at 3AM. Not so I could sleep, but so I could finish working on a project. In 2 hours, I have to get up for the day....
I am not a religious person. But today, someone said to me that I am Job. Who is Job, I asked. It's someone in the Bible who God kept doing horrible things to and he still had the faith. I laughed and said I guess I am Jobess!!
Mr. Porsche is a street smart business man. I sat with him tonight on the phone (not really caring if my husband even heard--it was an advice session). Quite honestly I trust him and his business sense. So he confirmed many of the things I was thinking, many of the directions I was considering as options. I hesitated to tell him my shit (I would never tell Mystery Man) but with him its different. We are friends first. The truth--he was so angry. Tell him to get a fucking job sweeping the streets...damn it, he needs to start helping you. You can't do it alone.
What I wanted to do was just crawl into his arms....release some of my anxiety and tears and crawl up like a little girl just for a few minutes and absorb some of his strength.
Okay, I have to get two hours. Today I have meetings and a big day at the lawyers. And you know my thoughts, every day is a new day. Well I have to get at least an hour of sleep to declare that! I will wake up tomorrow and gather the information I need for the lawyer. Ironically Divorce Attorney called me today to meet. I told him I can't, I have a meeting with a divorce attorney. Save your money, he said....I will take you to lunch and give you free advice. Honestly, he wants me...not an actual impartial person AND I am too embarrassed for him to see all my shit.
Sigh...tomorrow will be better....right?
Monday, February 11, 2008
Valentine's Day is a Coming!
So what are you doing for your lover and/or your wife? Personally, I am not a big believer of flowers on that day. The cost is just mind boggling if you want to really get a nice dozen. My practical theory...throw it into jewelry or a thoughtful gift and get me flowers another day. Now that's talking as a wife. As a lover, well, you can't buy me a dozen roses anyway....a sure sign of cheating....
So what are some ideas for your lovers?
-An expensive hotel which you can enjoy for more than just the usual time (and throw the rose petals on the bed and in the jacuzzi). Candles....romantic music..... and order room service to share in the room.....(if its a nice place, they have nice meals too)!
-A piece of jewelry....(but make sure that person can accept it)...luckily for me, my husband doesn't even notice my jewelry. Why? Because I mix it with expensive pieces as well as fakes. So when I come home with a new piece, he's never sure it its new, just been in the jewelry box for awhile or if its a fake one. Hence, how I am wearing Mr. Porsche's ring that he still hasn't noticed (although my family has).
-An experience present..anything she always wanted to do? Go in a balloon, a day at a spa, a makeover day....
-Perfume.....a scent you have chosen that she can wear when you aren't together, to always remind her of you....
Okay, that's it for now. Gotta work! Enjoy your week and make that day special for everyone!
So what should I get for Mr. Porsche? Any ideas?
A funny story.....Mr. Cable wrote me a note the other day...how he wanted a threesome with his ex. I wrote back, have a twosome and have fun with her. At that point, I even wrote here that we are not meant to be. He's a child, he annoys me a little actually on how he wastes his money,hangs out with the guys all the time. etc.etc. I personally had moved on.....
Yesterday he wrote me a note. We need to talk. I got nervous. Men don't talk. All these horrible thoughts went through my head. His wife found out, he has a disease etc. etc.
He wanted to say that it wasn't working for us these past few times. That I wasn't doing i for him like I did at the beginning. Just wanted me to know and to remain friends. Okay, that was sweet that he at least called (I am not used to that..I already had moved on). I agreed and wished him luck...quite frankly I giggled inside that I was gone already and I was relieved that he didn't have some rare disease! Oh well, I guess I got dumped yesterday. I never felt so good though....so funny!
So what are some ideas for your lovers?
-An expensive hotel which you can enjoy for more than just the usual time (and throw the rose petals on the bed and in the jacuzzi). Candles....romantic music..... and order room service to share in the room.....(if its a nice place, they have nice meals too)!
-A piece of jewelry....(but make sure that person can accept it)...luckily for me, my husband doesn't even notice my jewelry. Why? Because I mix it with expensive pieces as well as fakes. So when I come home with a new piece, he's never sure it its new, just been in the jewelry box for awhile or if its a fake one. Hence, how I am wearing Mr. Porsche's ring that he still hasn't noticed (although my family has).
-An experience present..anything she always wanted to do? Go in a balloon, a day at a spa, a makeover day....
-Perfume.....a scent you have chosen that she can wear when you aren't together, to always remind her of you....
Okay, that's it for now. Gotta work! Enjoy your week and make that day special for everyone!
So what should I get for Mr. Porsche? Any ideas?
A funny story.....Mr. Cable wrote me a note the other day...how he wanted a threesome with his ex. I wrote back, have a twosome and have fun with her. At that point, I even wrote here that we are not meant to be. He's a child, he annoys me a little actually on how he wastes his money,hangs out with the guys all the time. etc.etc. I personally had moved on.....
Yesterday he wrote me a note. We need to talk. I got nervous. Men don't talk. All these horrible thoughts went through my head. His wife found out, he has a disease etc. etc.
He wanted to say that it wasn't working for us these past few times. That I wasn't doing i for him like I did at the beginning. Just wanted me to know and to remain friends. Okay, that was sweet that he at least called (I am not used to that..I already had moved on). I agreed and wished him luck...quite frankly I giggled inside that I was gone already and I was relieved that he didn't have some rare disease! Oh well, I guess I got dumped yesterday. I never felt so good though....so funny!
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Is Mr. Prince Charming Out There?
I worked all hours this weekend and ended up sleeping on the couch last night....hubby's snoring actually was giving me a headache.
I made an appointment for a lawyer consult for this week. I am sad. I wish i was in love with my husband. I wish he had a job...I wish I had simplicity. But is it what it is. It is sad. I am afraid I will be alone for the rest of my life. What a sad thought. I'm afraid I won't be able to take care of the kids....I'm scared.
What I wish......I wish I could find a man that I adore. I wish I could find a man that supported me in my career and my life decisions. I wish I can found a man who was my friend, to laugh with, to have fun with, to giggle with, to play practical jokes on.....to chase around the kitchen and just laugh and giggle. I wish I could find a man that I could cuddle with in front of the fireplace and just watch a movie as we hold eachother....a man that I could race to the bedroom because we couldn't wait to be together.
And what can I offer this man in return? I would be there for him heart and soul. I would give him support and attention. I would give him back all that he gives to me and more....I would make him feel like he was a king.....that the world was there for him....and I was there to make it the perfect place. A place he would want to come home to....a place that was fun, filled with love and filled with passion in the bedroom. Start the night off with a drink and a home cooked meal and my smiling face excited to see him at the door.
And in the bedroom.....oh la la! I would make sure this mans every need is fulfilled. Yes, we would look forward to that time alone...
I realize..that if I could find a man that could just give me the simplicity....the peace that I so badly want....a man who looked at me with a sparkle in his eye....I would want to make his world heaven!!
I made an appointment for a lawyer consult for this week. I am sad. I wish i was in love with my husband. I wish he had a job...I wish I had simplicity. But is it what it is. It is sad. I am afraid I will be alone for the rest of my life. What a sad thought. I'm afraid I won't be able to take care of the kids....I'm scared.
What I wish......I wish I could find a man that I adore. I wish I could find a man that supported me in my career and my life decisions. I wish I can found a man who was my friend, to laugh with, to have fun with, to giggle with, to play practical jokes on.....to chase around the kitchen and just laugh and giggle. I wish I could find a man that I could cuddle with in front of the fireplace and just watch a movie as we hold eachother....a man that I could race to the bedroom because we couldn't wait to be together.
And what can I offer this man in return? I would be there for him heart and soul. I would give him support and attention. I would give him back all that he gives to me and more....I would make him feel like he was a king.....that the world was there for him....and I was there to make it the perfect place. A place he would want to come home to....a place that was fun, filled with love and filled with passion in the bedroom. Start the night off with a drink and a home cooked meal and my smiling face excited to see him at the door.
And in the bedroom.....oh la la! I would make sure this mans every need is fulfilled. Yes, we would look forward to that time alone...
I realize..that if I could find a man that could just give me the simplicity....the peace that I so badly want....a man who looked at me with a sparkle in his eye....I would want to make his world heaven!!
Friday, February 08, 2008
The Devil In Mystery Man
Sitting here working like a good little girl......an email comes across......Mystery Man! My heart skips a beat, my heart drops into my stomach. Damn that man.....he responded to the Blow Job Poem. Afraid to open it yet I find myself going to it. Will it say something like please stop emailing? Will it say something flirtatious that will want me to want him again? I am afraid to open it...my heart pounding outside my chest.
I sent him the poem and then I wrote, for some reason this reminds me of you....
And then I open his response...... the words...
"it must be the devil reference....."
Hmmm....not telling me to go away. Not telling me to come closer. Not saying if it is I who is the devil or is it him? Was that remark his usual sarcasm, is he feeling remorse, is it nonchalant?!
The only thing I got out of that response was that the lines of communication are open between us. Is that what I want? I do not know what I want. Well, I do know that I wish I could turn back the hands of times and that I was meeting him for one of our rendezvous'. The sex was soooooo amazing....the attraction was hot. I mean it was animalistic the way I felt about him. I never wanted someone like that before. Such desire, such passion, such intense orgasms.....he made me drip! The thought of us together would make me drip. I have never felt such desire....how I wish I could experience that connection again. But with all that he did, it will never be the same. He's not on Ashley Madison since a week after we parted. Did he find someone new? I don't think so. I think he took a break for awhile. Sadly, we will never return to what we were. If we ever met again....it would be anger sex in a way. Frustration, anger, oh, it would be hot......but I would hate him with each groan. STAY AWAY, that's what I have to do.
Mr. Electric has been terribly ill this week. Mr. Cable too. Now I would say they caught my cold from last week.....however, their kids were sick first!
I sent Mr. Porsche a note while he was away these past few days when I was sick "I'm dying of from food poisoning, I loved sucking your cock and having sex with you. I just wanted to say goodby....hope you are having fun!" lmao
Two days later he responded........ X
Okay that was a kiss.....but come on! So I responded, what?!?! no hugs and just one damn kiss!!! lol and then I sent him.... xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoxoxoooxoxooooo
He is very intuitive....he knows when I need a little attention. Even if it is an X. He knows that I need that little text message every once in awhile.
So, back to Mystery Man. I wonder.... is he the devil? Quite frankly he has that dark,mysterious look that you would think was the devil. He also has that dark side to him....that many times I have thought of him as the devil. In the poem, the devil referred to me but I am not the devil. He is the darker one....the more sinister one. Oh yes, he does remind me of the devil a little. The devil that tempts me so.....damn I am horny!
I sent him the poem and then I wrote, for some reason this reminds me of you....
And then I open his response...... the words...
"it must be the devil reference....."
Hmmm....not telling me to go away. Not telling me to come closer. Not saying if it is I who is the devil or is it him? Was that remark his usual sarcasm, is he feeling remorse, is it nonchalant?!
The only thing I got out of that response was that the lines of communication are open between us. Is that what I want? I do not know what I want. Well, I do know that I wish I could turn back the hands of times and that I was meeting him for one of our rendezvous'. The sex was soooooo amazing....the attraction was hot. I mean it was animalistic the way I felt about him. I never wanted someone like that before. Such desire, such passion, such intense orgasms.....he made me drip! The thought of us together would make me drip. I have never felt such desire....how I wish I could experience that connection again. But with all that he did, it will never be the same. He's not on Ashley Madison since a week after we parted. Did he find someone new? I don't think so. I think he took a break for awhile. Sadly, we will never return to what we were. If we ever met again....it would be anger sex in a way. Frustration, anger, oh, it would be hot......but I would hate him with each groan. STAY AWAY, that's what I have to do.
Mr. Electric has been terribly ill this week. Mr. Cable too. Now I would say they caught my cold from last week.....however, their kids were sick first!
I sent Mr. Porsche a note while he was away these past few days when I was sick "I'm dying of from food poisoning, I loved sucking your cock and having sex with you. I just wanted to say goodby....hope you are having fun!" lmao
Two days later he responded........ X
Okay that was a kiss.....but come on! So I responded, what?!?! no hugs and just one damn kiss!!! lol and then I sent him.... xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoxoxoooxoxooooo
He is very intuitive....he knows when I need a little attention. Even if it is an X. He knows that I need that little text message every once in awhile.
So, back to Mystery Man. I wonder.... is he the devil? Quite frankly he has that dark,mysterious look that you would think was the devil. He also has that dark side to him....that many times I have thought of him as the devil. In the poem, the devil referred to me but I am not the devil. He is the darker one....the more sinister one. Oh yes, he does remind me of the devil a little. The devil that tempts me so.....damn I am horny!
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Would you like to discuss an experience?
I have been food poisoned. I have never felt such pain in my stomach in my life. Kind of serves me right....I let my son convince me as we were driving home that Taco Bell was a good idea and that I shouldn't make dinner. Well, we both ate beef and the lettuce (rest of the family had the steak and chicken). Well, the two of us all night were dying.....
A friend told me to call to let them know just in case a lot of people were getting sick. So I did. when you call up they say.....Press 2 if you would like to discuss a recent experience? Even with my pain, that just hit a funny bone. "Yes, my recent experience is that you gave me food poisoning and you are trying to kill me". I began laughing.....I do have a warped sense of humor.
As I was hanging up with the live voice. She says "Is there anything else we can do for you?" My answer to her was..."Don't you think you have done enough? I feel like I was hit by a truck and my insides are twisting in knots...please don't do anything else!"
And then she ended with Thank you for choosing Taco Bell...or something that I know is something they have to say but its like pouring salt in an open wound.
My girlfriend stopped by.....Oh my, you look like crap. She's the one who told me to call just to let them know. Now I am not saying that they are having that horrible food poisoning thing they had in the past.....but I cannot believe how sick I feel. I have never had food poisoning...this is definitely brutal.....
Life has been so crazy for me....and I am looking for simplicity....geez.....how funny is that. Okay, back to bed. Can't work, just need my pillow.
A friend told me to call to let them know just in case a lot of people were getting sick. So I did. when you call up they say.....Press 2 if you would like to discuss a recent experience? Even with my pain, that just hit a funny bone. "Yes, my recent experience is that you gave me food poisoning and you are trying to kill me". I began laughing.....I do have a warped sense of humor.
As I was hanging up with the live voice. She says "Is there anything else we can do for you?" My answer to her was..."Don't you think you have done enough? I feel like I was hit by a truck and my insides are twisting in knots...please don't do anything else!"
And then she ended with Thank you for choosing Taco Bell...or something that I know is something they have to say but its like pouring salt in an open wound.
My girlfriend stopped by.....Oh my, you look like crap. She's the one who told me to call just to let them know. Now I am not saying that they are having that horrible food poisoning thing they had in the past.....but I cannot believe how sick I feel. I have never had food poisoning...this is definitely brutal.....
Life has been so crazy for me....and I am looking for simplicity....geez.....how funny is that. Okay, back to bed. Can't work, just need my pillow.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
A Passion For Life? A New Day!
The good thing about the sun setting and rising again....is that it is a new day! Today was one of those testing days.....see how far I can stand it. Will it break me or make me stronger? Well ladies and gents, it made me stronger. YEAH!!!
I fought for my daughter's program, I cried for it and I think I may have made some leadway...woo hoo!! I faced the mortgage company and am trying to work out a deal to keep my house from going to foreclosure....woo hoo!! I worked six different clients at once today, juggling deadlines without letting one ball drop....I just kept working and hustling and negotiating and working and working!! I took on everything I needed to take on to try and get this house in control......and I took the biggest step. I called a lawyer for a consult. I need to know where I stand with all this. I cried after but its what I have to do.
I can't imagine what he is thinking. He is keeping his distance. He is not sure what is going through my head. He feels my anger. Yes, you have dropped the ball. You have dropped every ball and if it were up to you, your family would be in the street. You have not given a dollar to the bills in months. I need to take control....be strong....yes, it is a new day and I need to find the strength..
A friend sent me the Blow Job Poem....and quite frankly, I loved it soooooo.......(see below)...it made me laugh, it made me giggle....it made me want to be a little bit of a bitch. Yes, I sent it to Mystery Man.......yes, he should be missing my mouth and just in case he didn't miss it today or think about me.......oh yeah!! You did today!!! hehehehe......I wish I could see his cock when he opened it...I wish I could see the flashbacks that went through his head.
I also recycled. I sent it to Mr. Porsche too. well it has a different meaning to him. He knows when he returns from being away that he will have these lips on him. Did I tell you he admitted that our last meeting had been mindblowing for him? Yes, he admitted it was one of the most amazing orgasms..... he also said I gave the best blow jobs. He asked me if I knew it? Now most women would say of course or something like that. No idiot me, admits that I hadn't given one in years and that I actually read up on techniques. He just laughed......you are so damn cute...he said. And then I thought about Larkins comment about a sense of innocence about me. I guess its innocence and ignorance.....but I am trying.
I don't know, I can be online on my new webcam and Mr.Prize will say , you look so beautiful....and my first reaction is to smile, throw him a kiss and then make a stupid face...lol Okay I am a clown as well.......The I Love Lucy comes out.
Yes, I am beginning to feel a little better. I cried, I licked my wounds and now I have to take control. Do you see that Prince Charming riding up on his horse yet to swoosh me off to heaven? If you find him.,please send him to Secret Lovers Lane!!! I'm waiting!!
xoxoxoxo
I fought for my daughter's program, I cried for it and I think I may have made some leadway...woo hoo!! I faced the mortgage company and am trying to work out a deal to keep my house from going to foreclosure....woo hoo!! I worked six different clients at once today, juggling deadlines without letting one ball drop....I just kept working and hustling and negotiating and working and working!! I took on everything I needed to take on to try and get this house in control......and I took the biggest step. I called a lawyer for a consult. I need to know where I stand with all this. I cried after but its what I have to do.
I can't imagine what he is thinking. He is keeping his distance. He is not sure what is going through my head. He feels my anger. Yes, you have dropped the ball. You have dropped every ball and if it were up to you, your family would be in the street. You have not given a dollar to the bills in months. I need to take control....be strong....yes, it is a new day and I need to find the strength..
A friend sent me the Blow Job Poem....and quite frankly, I loved it soooooo.......(see below)...it made me laugh, it made me giggle....it made me want to be a little bit of a bitch. Yes, I sent it to Mystery Man.......yes, he should be missing my mouth and just in case he didn't miss it today or think about me.......oh yeah!! You did today!!! hehehehe......I wish I could see his cock when he opened it...I wish I could see the flashbacks that went through his head.
I also recycled. I sent it to Mr. Porsche too. well it has a different meaning to him. He knows when he returns from being away that he will have these lips on him. Did I tell you he admitted that our last meeting had been mindblowing for him? Yes, he admitted it was one of the most amazing orgasms..... he also said I gave the best blow jobs. He asked me if I knew it? Now most women would say of course or something like that. No idiot me, admits that I hadn't given one in years and that I actually read up on techniques. He just laughed......you are so damn cute...he said. And then I thought about Larkins comment about a sense of innocence about me. I guess its innocence and ignorance.....but I am trying.
I don't know, I can be online on my new webcam and Mr.Prize will say , you look so beautiful....and my first reaction is to smile, throw him a kiss and then make a stupid face...lol Okay I am a clown as well.......The I Love Lucy comes out.
Yes, I am beginning to feel a little better. I cried, I licked my wounds and now I have to take control. Do you see that Prince Charming riding up on his horse yet to swoosh me off to heaven? If you find him.,please send him to Secret Lovers Lane!!! I'm waiting!!
xoxoxoxo
A BJ Poem
A very good friend sent this to me today....how perfect!
Bliss
by Silkyheat
Bliss is my mouth
covering your dick
My tongue probing you
swooping down for a lick
Hard licks, fast licks
soft ones and slow
You'll have a favorite
this much I know
But you'll love them all
because of my passion
You can tell by the feel
I love tongue-lashins
I'll kiss you so softly
it'll make you sweat
I'll suck you so hard
you'll think the devil you met
I'll make you explode
in big O's so strong
In my mouth and body
you'll know you belong
Bliss
by Silkyheat
Bliss is my mouth
covering your dick
My tongue probing you
swooping down for a lick
Hard licks, fast licks
soft ones and slow
You'll have a favorite
this much I know
But you'll love them all
because of my passion
You can tell by the feel
I love tongue-lashins
I'll kiss you so softly
it'll make you sweat
I'll suck you so hard
you'll think the devil you met
I'll make you explode
in big O's so strong
In my mouth and body
you'll know you belong
I'm A Survivor
Mentally drained. What a day. Seeing my angel in so much pain was more than I could bear. My phone ringing while they were doing the procedure, oh, my husband saying my son wouldn't let him use his computer...they were fighting. are they for real? I am holding my daughter who has stars in her eyes from pain and they are calling me about this?! I just hung up. I am by far the only adult in that house.
Work calls mounting through the whole procedure (the doctor commenting how I must be an important person. I told him, nothing was more important than my baby). They finished the procedure, I swooped her up and told her how much I loved her. She held on to me for dear life. How horrible for your child to be in pain, wrapped up and her looking at you as they are hurting her. My heart is hurting right now....probably left a scar on me more than her.
Mr. Porsche called me, I called him after the procedure. I didn't want him to know how fucked up I was....Ironically, I did turn to Mr. Electric and he was no where to be found.
And as for Mr. Cable, well, I think we are going to take a little breather. He told me today that his Ex is into a threesome. I can't believe him. That's not what I want and I told him that. My answer to him "well why don't you make it a twosome and enjoy her again". As Mr. Prize said...a little premature...my response....yeah and a little immature too. Plus, here is a guy who literally spent over $20,000 on a SuperBowl party and gambling on the game. And I can't pay my mortgage. It kind of steams me a little bit. He has shares in ski houses, travels all around the country for fun events and he is cheap with me. Its not happening. Mr. Porsche is all over the place too and travels a lot but he's different. It's his lifestyle, he's not flaunting it...plus, he treats me well and with respect. He has a good heart. Mr. Cable, I think is still a college kid that just is lucky enough to have the bucks to blow.
And then there is Mr. Prize who is amazing. He has been my support for so long and he continues to be a great friend. Someone who is always in my corner with good advice. You know, I have had my affairs but what I cherish the most is the friendships.
So, a few of you wrote to me worried about my state of mind. I am okay. You know my theory on life, tomorrow is a brand new start. And I will go to sleep tonight and cry. And let out all my hurt and anxiety. And wake up tomorrow with a new day. Sweet Dreams
Work calls mounting through the whole procedure (the doctor commenting how I must be an important person. I told him, nothing was more important than my baby). They finished the procedure, I swooped her up and told her how much I loved her. She held on to me for dear life. How horrible for your child to be in pain, wrapped up and her looking at you as they are hurting her. My heart is hurting right now....probably left a scar on me more than her.
Mr. Porsche called me, I called him after the procedure. I didn't want him to know how fucked up I was....Ironically, I did turn to Mr. Electric and he was no where to be found.
And as for Mr. Cable, well, I think we are going to take a little breather. He told me today that his Ex is into a threesome. I can't believe him. That's not what I want and I told him that. My answer to him "well why don't you make it a twosome and enjoy her again". As Mr. Prize said...a little premature...my response....yeah and a little immature too. Plus, here is a guy who literally spent over $20,000 on a SuperBowl party and gambling on the game. And I can't pay my mortgage. It kind of steams me a little bit. He has shares in ski houses, travels all around the country for fun events and he is cheap with me. Its not happening. Mr. Porsche is all over the place too and travels a lot but he's different. It's his lifestyle, he's not flaunting it...plus, he treats me well and with respect. He has a good heart. Mr. Cable, I think is still a college kid that just is lucky enough to have the bucks to blow.
And then there is Mr. Prize who is amazing. He has been my support for so long and he continues to be a great friend. Someone who is always in my corner with good advice. You know, I have had my affairs but what I cherish the most is the friendships.
So, a few of you wrote to me worried about my state of mind. I am okay. You know my theory on life, tomorrow is a brand new start. And I will go to sleep tonight and cry. And let out all my hurt and anxiety. And wake up tomorrow with a new day. Sweet Dreams
Monday, February 04, 2008
Soooo Tired
Sooooo tired..... Not tired from not getting a good night's sleep but tired from life.
Working like crazy, trying to keep my head a float and for over a year I have been working to get this special program for one of my kids. It's in its final stages....she needs something done medically that is going to cost a fortune. If I get the program, they will pay for it. Anyway, she woke up with the problem intensified yesterday. Which means, we can't wait for the program to come through. Nothing is worse than a mom who feels they fail as a parent. Nothing is worse when your hands are tied and things are out of control.
Today and last night I realized why I hate this man so much that I live with. He lied about bringing over the paperwork I asked him to bring over. He never brought it to the doctor. After freaking this weekend, he brought it over. I asked him to pick it up while I go to the emergency appointment with my daughter and drop it off where it has to go. Guess what? Song and dance how he has other things to do for some side work he is trying to get.....
Anger is an understatement.......Volcanoes were going off in my head. You asshole, if you had a job I could have afforded to pay for this and I wouldn't be running around like a chicken without a head or working so damn much or feeling like a failure. He looks at me like I am crazy. Like I am talking another language. It's moments like this that I want to throw his ass out the door. Moments like this where I want the man as far away from me as possible. He says you know it takes months to get that program. DUH!!! What have I been doing for a year. We live in different worlds. He has no clue what I do. I have thought about killing myself in the past, I have thought about leaving....but I know my kids really wouldn't survive. And I mean that. Not a mom tooting her horn. Last week, he was left with them because of my dad and he forgot to feed my daughter dinner.
Last night I went to bed crying and I haven't stopped all day. The pressure is so intense right now. The emergency appointment they will tie my daughter up in a straight jacket...a vision that kills me. And I am alone.....I am totally alone to deal with this. I'm sorry, I had to dump this somewhere so I can get the strength to handle what the day has in store.
Usually DigEm would talk me through this. He was there for me in the past when this happened. I guess he was on my mind because he came to me in my dream last night. We ran into each other by mistake. And we were searching, searching for a place to be alone. We finally found one and he held me. I woke up and smiled. He came to me in my dream when I needed his shoulder. What a pea.
Okay I am off.......thanks for the release.....anyone got a drink?
Working like crazy, trying to keep my head a float and for over a year I have been working to get this special program for one of my kids. It's in its final stages....she needs something done medically that is going to cost a fortune. If I get the program, they will pay for it. Anyway, she woke up with the problem intensified yesterday. Which means, we can't wait for the program to come through. Nothing is worse than a mom who feels they fail as a parent. Nothing is worse when your hands are tied and things are out of control.
Today and last night I realized why I hate this man so much that I live with. He lied about bringing over the paperwork I asked him to bring over. He never brought it to the doctor. After freaking this weekend, he brought it over. I asked him to pick it up while I go to the emergency appointment with my daughter and drop it off where it has to go. Guess what? Song and dance how he has other things to do for some side work he is trying to get.....
Anger is an understatement.......Volcanoes were going off in my head. You asshole, if you had a job I could have afforded to pay for this and I wouldn't be running around like a chicken without a head or working so damn much or feeling like a failure. He looks at me like I am crazy. Like I am talking another language. It's moments like this that I want to throw his ass out the door. Moments like this where I want the man as far away from me as possible. He says you know it takes months to get that program. DUH!!! What have I been doing for a year. We live in different worlds. He has no clue what I do. I have thought about killing myself in the past, I have thought about leaving....but I know my kids really wouldn't survive. And I mean that. Not a mom tooting her horn. Last week, he was left with them because of my dad and he forgot to feed my daughter dinner.
Last night I went to bed crying and I haven't stopped all day. The pressure is so intense right now. The emergency appointment they will tie my daughter up in a straight jacket...a vision that kills me. And I am alone.....I am totally alone to deal with this. I'm sorry, I had to dump this somewhere so I can get the strength to handle what the day has in store.
Usually DigEm would talk me through this. He was there for me in the past when this happened. I guess he was on my mind because he came to me in my dream last night. We ran into each other by mistake. And we were searching, searching for a place to be alone. We finally found one and he held me. I woke up and smiled. He came to me in my dream when I needed his shoulder. What a pea.
Okay I am off.......thanks for the release.....anyone got a drink?
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Not Just A Sexy,Dumb Blonde
I admit it. Tonight I got a little help from my little anxiety pill. Quite frankly, it send me right into fog land. So Hi From Fog Land!!
I am working on a project for Mr. Springer. And quite frankly, it is sooooo tedious and boring. However, its very detailed oriented and you really can't take a break or you lose the momentum...there's over 600 products and we are talking one minor detail difference on each...I am working on it for his website.
I have been spending a decent amount of time with him. It's every once in a blue moon, the image of us fucking pops into my head....and I don't even feel like he is the same person. How strange. You know I have done work for another guy I met on Ashley Madison. I also am going to do some consulting for Mr. Porsche and then there is Mr. Prize who I am honored that he trusts my judgment on things and every once in awhile he asks me for my opinion on something he is doing.
What a strange relationship I have with these men....but I am glad that they do see I am not just another dumb blonde. That I have a brain too.....(and the dumb blonde is only when I need to be that way) or when I want to totally escape from reality. Then I will sit there and be silly and cute and refuse to get serious. The escape side....
So the many different facets of my life. Okay, my break is over. I probably shouldn't haven taken a 1/2 of the pill. I am starting to get really tired and very foggy.....I am such a light weight.
Sweet Wet Dreams!!! Mmmmmmmm.........how I wish I could just crawl under the covers and cuddle with someone tonight. I guess my dog is the best alternative.....
I am working on a project for Mr. Springer. And quite frankly, it is sooooo tedious and boring. However, its very detailed oriented and you really can't take a break or you lose the momentum...there's over 600 products and we are talking one minor detail difference on each...I am working on it for his website.
I have been spending a decent amount of time with him. It's every once in a blue moon, the image of us fucking pops into my head....and I don't even feel like he is the same person. How strange. You know I have done work for another guy I met on Ashley Madison. I also am going to do some consulting for Mr. Porsche and then there is Mr. Prize who I am honored that he trusts my judgment on things and every once in awhile he asks me for my opinion on something he is doing.
What a strange relationship I have with these men....but I am glad that they do see I am not just another dumb blonde. That I have a brain too.....(and the dumb blonde is only when I need to be that way) or when I want to totally escape from reality. Then I will sit there and be silly and cute and refuse to get serious. The escape side....
So the many different facets of my life. Okay, my break is over. I probably shouldn't haven taken a 1/2 of the pill. I am starting to get really tired and very foggy.....I am such a light weight.
Sweet Wet Dreams!!! Mmmmmmmm.........how I wish I could just crawl under the covers and cuddle with someone tonight. I guess my dog is the best alternative.....
Friday, February 01, 2008
The Cock-A Unique Work Of Art
As I was sucking on Mr. Cable's cock last night, I started to think how each man's cock is like a fingerprint. Each one is so unique. In girth, in length and in feel. Some men have a strong mushroom head......while others, the head is not any different in size from the rest of their cock.
All having the same function yet are so unique. Like a face or a fingerprint I guess. I guess when I was younger, I never gave it a thought. I honestly rarily saw a difference. Oh granted, ifa guy was huge, I noticed. But for the most part, I never gave it much thought.
And, I certainly never thought about techniques. Maturity has certainly gave me a new outlook. I guess that is a benefit to a mature woman who is in search of her sexuality. I am intrigued what turns on a guy. I am also intrigued how each guy likes something different. I guess I never paid attention when I was younger. You would think, two balls, a cock.....there would be similiarities....but there isn't as many as you would think.
The cock-- some men like it sucked slow and steady. Others like it hard and fast. Some like circles with your tongue. Others like just sucking on the head. Some like whatever you can't get into your mouth, you use your hand to rub the rest. Others want your hands in other places...
One thing I did notice that they all have in common....Men love it when you deep throat them. Hit the back of your throat and get in as much as you can......almost to the point of gagging. Yes, that is the only common thread I have found with all. And most like you in between their legs, so they can watch as you suck them. Of course, MM liked it when I would pull his cock forward as I sucked (I used to call it the car shift--want it in second gear baby?!?). Of course, some prefer them inbetween your breasts (but they also like to be sucked). I haven't found a man yet that doesn't want a blow job!
The Balls-some don't like them touched, some can't get enough of the massaging and even would prefer it to having their cock sucked. Some like their balls sucked, others like them licked. Even some like two in your mouth at a time......Some like it rough, some like it gentle.
Wow, with all that going on...its amazing a woman can figure out what a guy likes. My technique...I ask. I basically say "what feels good baby? do you like this?" at first, the response is usually....everything, I like it all. And I believe that but as you are working the cock,
they seem to start to give up the secrets. the secret to what makes their cock dance! This week seemed like eternity....and when I opened my eyes I realized, I actually had been intimate with three men this week. Quite frankly, it didn't even feel like it was one week. granted only slept with one, but wow, I've never been with three men in one week intimately.
And then I go and turn my Ashley Madison account back on today....subconsciously I did it. Sitting here thinking about it, I know why. One, Cable Guy is good for right now but not the answer to my fulfillment. I'm not super attracted to him. Mr. Electric, well, sexually we are not really compatable.... and Mr.Porsche....he's got a lot on his plate. Very busy with work and if I see him once every two or so weeks, that is a lot. So inclusion, I still have not found Mr. Married Prince Charming. So, Ashley is back on......
All having the same function yet are so unique. Like a face or a fingerprint I guess. I guess when I was younger, I never gave it a thought. I honestly rarily saw a difference. Oh granted, ifa guy was huge, I noticed. But for the most part, I never gave it much thought.
And, I certainly never thought about techniques. Maturity has certainly gave me a new outlook. I guess that is a benefit to a mature woman who is in search of her sexuality. I am intrigued what turns on a guy. I am also intrigued how each guy likes something different. I guess I never paid attention when I was younger. You would think, two balls, a cock.....there would be similiarities....but there isn't as many as you would think.
The cock-- some men like it sucked slow and steady. Others like it hard and fast. Some like circles with your tongue. Others like just sucking on the head. Some like whatever you can't get into your mouth, you use your hand to rub the rest. Others want your hands in other places...
One thing I did notice that they all have in common....Men love it when you deep throat them. Hit the back of your throat and get in as much as you can......almost to the point of gagging. Yes, that is the only common thread I have found with all. And most like you in between their legs, so they can watch as you suck them. Of course, MM liked it when I would pull his cock forward as I sucked (I used to call it the car shift--want it in second gear baby?!?). Of course, some prefer them inbetween your breasts (but they also like to be sucked). I haven't found a man yet that doesn't want a blow job!
The Balls-some don't like them touched, some can't get enough of the massaging and even would prefer it to having their cock sucked. Some like their balls sucked, others like them licked. Even some like two in your mouth at a time......Some like it rough, some like it gentle.
Wow, with all that going on...its amazing a woman can figure out what a guy likes. My technique...I ask. I basically say "what feels good baby? do you like this?" at first, the response is usually....everything, I like it all. And I believe that but as you are working the cock,
they seem to start to give up the secrets. the secret to what makes their cock dance! This week seemed like eternity....and when I opened my eyes I realized, I actually had been intimate with three men this week. Quite frankly, it didn't even feel like it was one week. granted only slept with one, but wow, I've never been with three men in one week intimately.
And then I go and turn my Ashley Madison account back on today....subconsciously I did it. Sitting here thinking about it, I know why. One, Cable Guy is good for right now but not the answer to my fulfillment. I'm not super attracted to him. Mr. Electric, well, sexually we are not really compatable.... and Mr.Porsche....he's got a lot on his plate. Very busy with work and if I see him once every two or so weeks, that is a lot. So inclusion, I still have not found Mr. Married Prince Charming. So, Ashley is back on......
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