Black Friday..I know it's crazy to go out and shop but something about getting up at 3AM and getting bargains is exhilirating (or nuts). It's a family event with my son and I. We love to get the fliers and plan the day. A friend slept over and off we went.
This year was absolutely insane. I have been working like crazy and I wanted to buy the kids something that represents my hard work. Something materialistic. I decided they deserve flat screen tvs. My girls are hard to buy for (they have disabilities) so I wanted something special for them. Something that would make them smile and be happy. something I could be proud of that I bought them....TVs. I examined the flyers and decided...first stop Walmart. End result, I got the tvs, my friend got a computer and we did well andI feel great I was able to get it. However, I feel better that I saved someones life.
Walmart, is a disgrace as is some human beings. There was a line and unlike every other store in the area....they had no security outside. Animals came from all over trying to cut the line. Fights were starting to break out. There was nothing protecting us people online. Funny how your survival kicks in. One person cutting is no big deal, but 50 people charging at you. I went to security, they did nothing. I was warning them there was goin to be a riot. They did nothing. Pathetic.....Walmart is a disgusting. To protect ourselves, everyone built a wall of wagons...in order to keep the scoundrels out. However, when the door opened...these animals started to jump over the wagons and on us. Within a minute....I literally had to shove people off the wagons before they jumped on me. The entire line had to push the people down.....five people got in and like dominoes people were shoved over.....
A woman was screaming.....I could see someone fell....I was nervous is was my son, so I pushed over there.....there was a woman they were trampling. No one was helping her and her daughter was getting pushed out away from her. I shoved my way over and got behind the woman (my friend behind me) she thought I dropped my purse because she saw me bending over....I started screaming at the people....STOP......and quickly, I was able to scoop her up as the crowd was barging in. I don't know how I had the strength to pick her up, but I did. Now I think back, I just grabbed her daughter to help her....she smiled at me and I went on my way...she was okay..but damn fools...men five times my size were trampling her. It was disgusting.
When I got home, I heard on the news......an employee got trampled at another Walmart and died. How absolutely devastating. Unfortunately, I am not surprised. My shoulder is killing me from the guy who jumped on me and from me pushing the other guys and girls off the wagons. But today was such mixed emotions and my adrenal is running. In one breath, I got the tvs for my kids. Yes, I ran through the store, grabbed the tvs and I was happy (there were people trying to steal them from me--can you believe that?) However, I am no push over. I just looked the guys in the eyes and said....you are fucking with the wrong person....and he left....the next one pretended not to speak English.....I screamed in his face.... NO.....MINE....ADIOS....he moved on quickly. So I guess the city girl in me came out today. LOL
Amazingly, it is an event like this that brings out the true character in people. there were the doers...a group of men and woman (me included) who organized the barrier and together protected the people. then there were the passive people who just waited online. And then the animals......a group of people that I don't often get to see in action. Non caring about others in life or other human beings......you hear about them, you don't often get to see such low life scum in action.
And as for Walmart....I will never shop there again. I warned them, other people warned them...and they watched from inside. They watched the tension growing, they watched the situation unfolding.......and did absolutely nothing. All it would have taken was three of those security guards outside and having the security car riding around not allow people who were not on the line to hang out by the door. I blame them. Of course security was there as you left, to check out your merchandize....the muscles appeared as you were leaving. Conclusion: Walmart cares about their bottomline and not human life.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
The Missing Turkey
If you know me, this story wouldn't sound like anything out of the ordinary. I love to give. I get personal satisfaction out of doing something good for other people (and yes that does carry over the the bedroom) but in real life....I love helping others. Nothing feels better.
So I was working on deciding which charity one of my clients could make a donation for the holidays. Spoke to the local food charity that donates food to families and soup kitchens. To my surprise, they had 25,000 request this year and only got 12,000 turkeys. And so I looked at my turkey. Hubby brought home a 16 lbs. turkey. This thing was way too big for the number of people I was having. The pan was going to get too heavy, the left over turkey issues.....and then there were people who had not turkey.
I decided....well Mr. Turkey...you could go to much better use at some other home who really needs you. I threw Mr. Turkey in the car and went to a drop off point for the charity. Only problem is that I was having 10 people for dinner...and I was working late. Hubby and I walked in. So what is for dinner tomorrow night? did you get to the store to get the side dishes.... Hmm...as I was typing.... "nope, not yet" ....I responded.
"Well at least we have a turkey' he said. My friend was over, and we looked at each other..."aahh...no, we dont have a turkey anymore". Now of course, he didn't believe me. He's searching in the oven, in the refrigerator...actually we were laughing so hard at this point watching him look for it. "You donated our turkey?" He finally said in disbelief. Yeah...now here's one good character about the hubby. He's not surprised at all.
"so what's for dinner?" "Whatever you pick up at the supermarket, I said"
So, we had a roast beef, vegetables and yams. And quite frankly, I was very happy and felt good. This year, I wasn't like last year. Money is tight but not like last year. I believe you need to give....its good for the soul.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Nothing Like Makeup Sex
Sometimes it take a disagreement, to bring people closer. Mr. Porsche and I have never really fought. I am mad at times but he has a way about him that he knows how to calm me. You know when you fight with someone or you are upset and you say..that is it, we are done. I don't feel that way with him even when I am furious. I have a sense of security with him because I think we are friends as well as secret lovers.
As you know, I was furious with him over a professional matter and Miss. Organiser. I don't get what she does...he doesn't seem any more organized then he was three months ago. Hence, my conclusion that she might be sucking his cock.
Anyway, I didn't call him yesterday. We always speak on Mondays. And I didn't call. And to add salt to the wound....he didn't call me. Yes, I sulked but I didn't call. Finally today at 12:30 he called. Ididn't pick up and he left a message....'hey, I am worried about you. Haven't heard from you. Call me so I know you are ok". He doesn't have a clue. Well, I know he knows I'm pissed because he is manipulative and leaving a message like that...he knows I will call back because I don't want him to worry about me (of course I was right!).
So three hours later, I called back. I was calm. As soon as I started to talk, I tried to make it like nothing was wrong. 3 minutes into the conversation, What did I do? Hmm...he said he could feel the coldness in my voice (it wasn't so cold). You are mad because I didn't spend time with you on Thursday and I wasn't appreciative of you coming out for the 1/2 hour. So now, I am more furious with that remark because he should know me better and I wouldn't be like that....
Okay, I now go off.. Half hurt, half upset, I tell him why I am upset. That I will do no more work for him. Long story short, he tells me that he can't have me in the office when the staff is around because I look at him with those eyes..she's also doing the interviewing for him (which is more wasted money). We go back and forth and then he says...and if there was a pretty one, you wouldn't hire her. RAGE!! Attacking my professionalism again.....I just hung up and wouldn't pick up again. After 2 calls, I did pick up.
Well, we finally talked it out. And what calmed me like a wave..."I would never do anything to hurt you...ever. I am sorry. You know I would never want you to be upset and hurt." And with those words I realized.... he always protects me. He always tries to make me happy and those words were not just words...he meant it and it was true. We hit a new level. We both felt it....and then there was peace.
He went out tonight to a client's dinner. And got wasted off his ass. He called me and was so damn cute I just wanted to run to him and kiss him all over....He said to me that he is really very sensitive and was truly upset that I was feeling that way. That he puts on that tough act, but deep inside, he is a softie (I call it the pussycat side). I noticed you didn't call, I wanted to call but I was afraid it was too late and you would be home. Baby, you know I care so much about you...don' you? I really never want to hurt you, I only want to make your life happier.
Probably the nicest thing that was coming from the heart. He's such a good guy. I feel very lucky to have him in my life. Of course the conversation then went sexual, he is too much. He was with this guy who knows about us but the other didn't...however, now he does. He went into explicit detail of what he wanted to do to me right then.....how he wishes my mouth was wraped around his cock...how he misses my smile and that look when I am orgasming....how he kept thinking about how he wanted to do me from behind and then stick his cock in my ass. Well, that guy as to know he isn't talking to his wife....I said that and he laughed.
He then called me again later....and we talked some more. I missed him and he missed me. So things are ok with us. In fact, they are probably even better now. I told him on the phone....I can't wait to have makeup sex! He said we didn't have a real fight.. I said, shhhh! its the closest we have had and we should take advantage of the sex. He laughed......damn, he is special....a man who isn't afraid to tell what's in his heart and mind.
Sweet dreams....
As you know, I was furious with him over a professional matter and Miss. Organiser. I don't get what she does...he doesn't seem any more organized then he was three months ago. Hence, my conclusion that she might be sucking his cock.
Anyway, I didn't call him yesterday. We always speak on Mondays. And I didn't call. And to add salt to the wound....he didn't call me. Yes, I sulked but I didn't call. Finally today at 12:30 he called. Ididn't pick up and he left a message....'hey, I am worried about you. Haven't heard from you. Call me so I know you are ok". He doesn't have a clue. Well, I know he knows I'm pissed because he is manipulative and leaving a message like that...he knows I will call back because I don't want him to worry about me (of course I was right!).
So three hours later, I called back. I was calm. As soon as I started to talk, I tried to make it like nothing was wrong. 3 minutes into the conversation, What did I do? Hmm...he said he could feel the coldness in my voice (it wasn't so cold). You are mad because I didn't spend time with you on Thursday and I wasn't appreciative of you coming out for the 1/2 hour. So now, I am more furious with that remark because he should know me better and I wouldn't be like that....
Okay, I now go off.. Half hurt, half upset, I tell him why I am upset. That I will do no more work for him. Long story short, he tells me that he can't have me in the office when the staff is around because I look at him with those eyes..she's also doing the interviewing for him (which is more wasted money). We go back and forth and then he says...and if there was a pretty one, you wouldn't hire her. RAGE!! Attacking my professionalism again.....I just hung up and wouldn't pick up again. After 2 calls, I did pick up.
Well, we finally talked it out. And what calmed me like a wave..."I would never do anything to hurt you...ever. I am sorry. You know I would never want you to be upset and hurt." And with those words I realized.... he always protects me. He always tries to make me happy and those words were not just words...he meant it and it was true. We hit a new level. We both felt it....and then there was peace.
He went out tonight to a client's dinner. And got wasted off his ass. He called me and was so damn cute I just wanted to run to him and kiss him all over....He said to me that he is really very sensitive and was truly upset that I was feeling that way. That he puts on that tough act, but deep inside, he is a softie (I call it the pussycat side). I noticed you didn't call, I wanted to call but I was afraid it was too late and you would be home. Baby, you know I care so much about you...don' you? I really never want to hurt you, I only want to make your life happier.
Probably the nicest thing that was coming from the heart. He's such a good guy. I feel very lucky to have him in my life. Of course the conversation then went sexual, he is too much. He was with this guy who knows about us but the other didn't...however, now he does. He went into explicit detail of what he wanted to do to me right then.....how he wishes my mouth was wraped around his cock...how he misses my smile and that look when I am orgasming....how he kept thinking about how he wanted to do me from behind and then stick his cock in my ass. Well, that guy as to know he isn't talking to his wife....I said that and he laughed.
He then called me again later....and we talked some more. I missed him and he missed me. So things are ok with us. In fact, they are probably even better now. I told him on the phone....I can't wait to have makeup sex! He said we didn't have a real fight.. I said, shhhh! its the closest we have had and we should take advantage of the sex. He laughed......damn, he is special....a man who isn't afraid to tell what's in his heart and mind.
Sweet dreams....
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Meet Mr. MBA
Thanks everyone for your comments and support. Actually, you are all right. My reason for divorcing is not to catch him...and I realize it doesn't matter. I guess I was looking for the coward's way out in a way. Or, I know I have a thing with people trying to get over on me....I guess its a control thing. Whatever it is...Anonymous you hit it right on the head..... I am lonely not alone. There is always people around me.....and with a smile, the loneliness is sometimes so deep (but no one knows). Sankukbaby.....you are a soldier?!?! Mmmm.....don't get me going on soldiers...lol
So.....a lot of crap happened in the last few days. I met Mr. MBA. What a disappointment. I mean he was the same man that I spoke to except...he reminded me of a weasel in person. Oh that is mean, but he did. I cannot imagine being in bed with him. When he went to kiss me, I pulled away. Not my type...so upsetting because I mentally enjoy him. But sexually it wasn't there for me. Unfortunately, it was there for him. He has been calling, texting and IMing me like crazy....suffocating actually. Well that's not fair to say because if I liked him I would like the attention. But right now....my state of mind is a little fucked up. Feeling very unappreciated by all men in my life.
So last night, major upheavel in the house, which thankfully passed. Let's just say, I was sitting in my car in the schoolyard because I thought I might lose it at home.
I had a long talk with Mr. Porsche last night. I think I told you about our meeting. He has been so busy, he hasn't been able to see me. I was Miss. Understanding...I sat with him at motor vehicles and we talked. I got to see him for a 1/2 hour. It was fine..I was just glad to see him and he called three times to thank me for being so understanding. I felt good...like I did the right thing by being understanding and not pushing....we're all busy at times.
And then.....there is this Organiser who helps him (spelled wrong on purpose--just in case he ever does a search). Our professional careers do overlap in some ways. I've told you before how I help Mr. Porsche with his business. So I recommended using Craigslist last week to fill a position. I had just done it for three other clients and it was extremely successful. Now....keep in mind, he has no time for me. So when I called him thursday night to say good night...he said he was in a meeting. Ok...what are you doing.....going over some termination stuff. I thought it might be Miss. Organiser but what does she have to do with emloyee terminations?
Okay, I admit it. I am jealous and quite frankly pissed. From a professional standpoint, he has no time to go over stuff we have pending...and I would have done the damn Craigslist for free. But he pays this girl to do it with him? So am I upset that he doesn't value me professionally or am I upset that he spent three hours with her? I've mentioned her before, nonchalantly saying that I thought he was sleeping with her and it was no biggie. He swears he isn't and that he would tell me. He even seemed shocked that I thought he might be sleeping with her. The professional thing--he claims. Doesn't want her to think we are together in anyway. Hmmm..is that because it is purely professional with her or are you doing her and you don't want her to know about me?!?
I know I am acting like a child right now but I am so hurt. I feel so unappreciated and that he values my opinion less. I am not going to do anything else for him workwise, I decided that today. And what an ass I am....I got a 1/2 hour and wait, a slice of pizza. He worked late every night....he could have asked me to meet him at his office. When I mentioned the termination and he told me it was her on Friday night...I got really quiet. I had drank a 1/2 bottle of wine and decided I better not say anything I might regret. Do I really think he is doing her? I am not sure. I don't think so because he was so concerned someone put a camera in his office, that's why we haven't been in there (he was out of town when the security system was set up). So what do you think? Think he is doing her? SURVEY TIME!! Place your vote to the right. Don't be shy. At least let's make this frustration informative, interactive and entertaining......LOL
All right, I am going to sleep. Mad at Mr. Porsche, missing and angry with MM. Funny how flashbacks can be so wonderful and yet so brutal at times. My myspace is filled with music that reminds me of him. Guess it wasn't so smart to listen to a repertoire of songs that we had wild sex to.
One last funny story, the hubby had his headphones on today....singing one of the songs that MM and I have had outrageous sex to. It was driving me crazy....my skin was crawling. PAyback is a bitch was all I could think. He's probably doing it to that song too...lol Oh man....if I didn't know better, I would think he knew and was torturing me with it. But he doesn't, he's not that smart. However, I do think it was a message from up above. Basically saying Get Your shit together Cheri....
So.....a lot of crap happened in the last few days. I met Mr. MBA. What a disappointment. I mean he was the same man that I spoke to except...he reminded me of a weasel in person. Oh that is mean, but he did. I cannot imagine being in bed with him. When he went to kiss me, I pulled away. Not my type...so upsetting because I mentally enjoy him. But sexually it wasn't there for me. Unfortunately, it was there for him. He has been calling, texting and IMing me like crazy....suffocating actually. Well that's not fair to say because if I liked him I would like the attention. But right now....my state of mind is a little fucked up. Feeling very unappreciated by all men in my life.
So last night, major upheavel in the house, which thankfully passed. Let's just say, I was sitting in my car in the schoolyard because I thought I might lose it at home.
I had a long talk with Mr. Porsche last night. I think I told you about our meeting. He has been so busy, he hasn't been able to see me. I was Miss. Understanding...I sat with him at motor vehicles and we talked. I got to see him for a 1/2 hour. It was fine..I was just glad to see him and he called three times to thank me for being so understanding. I felt good...like I did the right thing by being understanding and not pushing....we're all busy at times.
And then.....there is this Organiser who helps him (spelled wrong on purpose--just in case he ever does a search). Our professional careers do overlap in some ways. I've told you before how I help Mr. Porsche with his business. So I recommended using Craigslist last week to fill a position. I had just done it for three other clients and it was extremely successful. Now....keep in mind, he has no time for me. So when I called him thursday night to say good night...he said he was in a meeting. Ok...what are you doing.....going over some termination stuff. I thought it might be Miss. Organiser but what does she have to do with emloyee terminations?
Okay, I admit it. I am jealous and quite frankly pissed. From a professional standpoint, he has no time to go over stuff we have pending...and I would have done the damn Craigslist for free. But he pays this girl to do it with him? So am I upset that he doesn't value me professionally or am I upset that he spent three hours with her? I've mentioned her before, nonchalantly saying that I thought he was sleeping with her and it was no biggie. He swears he isn't and that he would tell me. He even seemed shocked that I thought he might be sleeping with her. The professional thing--he claims. Doesn't want her to think we are together in anyway. Hmmm..is that because it is purely professional with her or are you doing her and you don't want her to know about me?!?
I know I am acting like a child right now but I am so hurt. I feel so unappreciated and that he values my opinion less. I am not going to do anything else for him workwise, I decided that today. And what an ass I am....I got a 1/2 hour and wait, a slice of pizza. He worked late every night....he could have asked me to meet him at his office. When I mentioned the termination and he told me it was her on Friday night...I got really quiet. I had drank a 1/2 bottle of wine and decided I better not say anything I might regret. Do I really think he is doing her? I am not sure. I don't think so because he was so concerned someone put a camera in his office, that's why we haven't been in there (he was out of town when the security system was set up). So what do you think? Think he is doing her? SURVEY TIME!! Place your vote to the right. Don't be shy. At least let's make this frustration informative, interactive and entertaining......LOL
All right, I am going to sleep. Mad at Mr. Porsche, missing and angry with MM. Funny how flashbacks can be so wonderful and yet so brutal at times. My myspace is filled with music that reminds me of him. Guess it wasn't so smart to listen to a repertoire of songs that we had wild sex to.
One last funny story, the hubby had his headphones on today....singing one of the songs that MM and I have had outrageous sex to. It was driving me crazy....my skin was crawling. PAyback is a bitch was all I could think. He's probably doing it to that song too...lol Oh man....if I didn't know better, I would think he knew and was torturing me with it. But he doesn't, he's not that smart. However, I do think it was a message from up above. Basically saying Get Your shit together Cheri....
So Why Do I Care To Catch Him?
I appreciate your feedback all three anonymous'. And for the answer, I really have to sit here and think, look within. Why do I want to catch him? And the honest answers that I can come up.
Do you know what it is like to feel stuck and trapped? Have you ever felt like someone thinks they love you but quite frankly you are a convenience. You are the meal ticket, you are the responsible one that holds all the burden, that works all the hours....alone in a marriage. And a big reason I haven't made the move for divorce is because he is not a horrible person and he would have no place to go. I would feel bad just kicking him out. I think he thinks he loves me but he doesn't. Quite frankly, I take care of everything......
If he was having an affair---it would be an easy grounds for divorce. It would also be the crutch I need to have the strength to finally go through with the divorce. He's standing on his own. Probably the motivation I need to relieve my guilt about going through with it. Does that make sense?
The man is a fuckup but not a horrible person. He takes care of nothing. If you look back at the financial ruins he got us in. If the problems were because of just the failing business, that is one thing. But he hadn't filed taxes, he had liens against the house, he had issues with unemployment...all things that if he took some action wouldn't be there. Once again, the responsibility fell on me. We would have lost our house if I didn't step in. A man who has never even gone to his kid's teachers conferences. A man who has left all major (and mind you serious decisions) to me about the childrens health issues. Basically, I am in this marriage alone. And a person gets resentful and angry when the entire responsibility falls on you alone and you feel like he is a leech, sucking the energy and life out of you.
So, saying that....I looked within and there is no jealousy at all. I 100% do not care if he is with another woman and I do understand it if he is. And in a bizarre way, I hope he is. Where dO I have the problem--when he has a day off and he is gone to 7PM. When I am working nonstop to bring in extra money and he can't even take a few things on the house errands to give me a hand. When I spend the day on the phone handling kids stuff, house stuff and I am also working. He has the day off--take some responsibility so I can do my work.
So as I babble here--it's anger and resentment that I feel. Catching him would just be a justication in my head and a motivator to get him out the door with less guilt. Remember, it's like he's not an adult or partner in this marriage. In a way, its the chicken way out I guess. The cut and dry way to end our marriage. The most acceptable in today's society. Physical abuse and adultery.....most common and black and white marriage enders. Emotional abuse and 'my husband is a fuck up" is gray area.
Does that make sense? I don't know that's what looking from in...I am able to feel. So catching him, it's not the same emotion and reasoning that I am sure most woman go out there to catch their husbands. Most woman would be distraught to know their husbands are cheating...we are not at that point. I wouldn't be sitting there crying if I found him with another woman. We are so past that.
Okay, be kind...I tried to express what I think is going on deep inside...whew....such a psych session.....who gets paid for listening here?
Do you know what it is like to feel stuck and trapped? Have you ever felt like someone thinks they love you but quite frankly you are a convenience. You are the meal ticket, you are the responsible one that holds all the burden, that works all the hours....alone in a marriage. And a big reason I haven't made the move for divorce is because he is not a horrible person and he would have no place to go. I would feel bad just kicking him out. I think he thinks he loves me but he doesn't. Quite frankly, I take care of everything......
If he was having an affair---it would be an easy grounds for divorce. It would also be the crutch I need to have the strength to finally go through with the divorce. He's standing on his own. Probably the motivation I need to relieve my guilt about going through with it. Does that make sense?
The man is a fuckup but not a horrible person. He takes care of nothing. If you look back at the financial ruins he got us in. If the problems were because of just the failing business, that is one thing. But he hadn't filed taxes, he had liens against the house, he had issues with unemployment...all things that if he took some action wouldn't be there. Once again, the responsibility fell on me. We would have lost our house if I didn't step in. A man who has never even gone to his kid's teachers conferences. A man who has left all major (and mind you serious decisions) to me about the childrens health issues. Basically, I am in this marriage alone. And a person gets resentful and angry when the entire responsibility falls on you alone and you feel like he is a leech, sucking the energy and life out of you.
So, saying that....I looked within and there is no jealousy at all. I 100% do not care if he is with another woman and I do understand it if he is. And in a bizarre way, I hope he is. Where dO I have the problem--when he has a day off and he is gone to 7PM. When I am working nonstop to bring in extra money and he can't even take a few things on the house errands to give me a hand. When I spend the day on the phone handling kids stuff, house stuff and I am also working. He has the day off--take some responsibility so I can do my work.
So as I babble here--it's anger and resentment that I feel. Catching him would just be a justication in my head and a motivator to get him out the door with less guilt. Remember, it's like he's not an adult or partner in this marriage. In a way, its the chicken way out I guess. The cut and dry way to end our marriage. The most acceptable in today's society. Physical abuse and adultery.....most common and black and white marriage enders. Emotional abuse and 'my husband is a fuck up" is gray area.
Does that make sense? I don't know that's what looking from in...I am able to feel. So catching him, it's not the same emotion and reasoning that I am sure most woman go out there to catch their husbands. Most woman would be distraught to know their husbands are cheating...we are not at that point. I wouldn't be sitting there crying if I found him with another woman. We are so past that.
Okay, be kind...I tried to express what I think is going on deep inside...whew....such a psych session.....who gets paid for listening here?
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
My I-Phone Did It....Oops...
I usually begin my morning with reading the news online. Always looking for interesting stories for my clients. Today I cam across some pretty funny things to start my day. First, a friend sent me the Alan King skit--Survived By His Wife. Very funny, you can find it on YouTube.
Then, I was on Ashley and I cam across someone who put his body and cut out his head and put a smiley face on his body as his picture. I can't tell you how that hit a funny bone (side note: MM was on there two days ago. I have a feeling it was to see if I returned).
And finally, the winning story of the morning. A woman wrote in to the I-Phone Forum to see if the glitch her husband told her was true. That the phone sometimes attaches random pictures from your memory to emails and sends the pictures. Wouldn't you know it, his phone sent a naked pix of him jerking off to some woman's email. Wow....LOL So do you think it's true? While the story is humorous, the attached link that reported it was hilarious. I was dying....I lost it as she reported her next story was going to be about the woman's blackberry that brutally forced her to have a threesome (or something like that...it was classic).
A Terrible I-Phone Glitch
I spent the day today working and chatting with MR. MBA. He is so funny and I truly enjoy our conversations. Today he reminded me of Soulmate Chris. I can say that Mr. MBA and I have conversations on that same path. Same humor, constantly keeping me laughing. It is absolutely a true uplifter to my day. Was also excited that Mr. Porsche is going to try to ojust meet me for coffee tomorrow. with all his changes at his company, he barely has enough time to breathe.
And hubby, well he came home at 6 tonight. Hmmm.....4 hours to get home....my oh my. I called him on it. Said I stopped by his work and he wasn't there at 2:30. He claims he was a the gym all day. Okay....he ran upstairs....and btw, his towel from the gym wasn't even wet today. It's more the detective work that I am enjoying. you see, if I can prove infidelity.....I have grounds for a divorce.
Then, I was on Ashley and I cam across someone who put his body and cut out his head and put a smiley face on his body as his picture. I can't tell you how that hit a funny bone (side note: MM was on there two days ago. I have a feeling it was to see if I returned).
And finally, the winning story of the morning. A woman wrote in to the I-Phone Forum to see if the glitch her husband told her was true. That the phone sometimes attaches random pictures from your memory to emails and sends the pictures. Wouldn't you know it, his phone sent a naked pix of him jerking off to some woman's email. Wow....LOL So do you think it's true? While the story is humorous, the attached link that reported it was hilarious. I was dying....I lost it as she reported her next story was going to be about the woman's blackberry that brutally forced her to have a threesome (or something like that...it was classic).
A Terrible I-Phone Glitch
I spent the day today working and chatting with MR. MBA. He is so funny and I truly enjoy our conversations. Today he reminded me of Soulmate Chris. I can say that Mr. MBA and I have conversations on that same path. Same humor, constantly keeping me laughing. It is absolutely a true uplifter to my day. Was also excited that Mr. Porsche is going to try to ojust meet me for coffee tomorrow. with all his changes at his company, he barely has enough time to breathe.
And hubby, well he came home at 6 tonight. Hmmm.....4 hours to get home....my oh my. I called him on it. Said I stopped by his work and he wasn't there at 2:30. He claims he was a the gym all day. Okay....he ran upstairs....and btw, his towel from the gym wasn't even wet today. It's more the detective work that I am enjoying. you see, if I can prove infidelity.....I have grounds for a divorce.
The Cheating Husband?
I am not sure if he is cheating but the signs are there. He is working out at the gym, haircut change, new underwear, singing with his headphones on throughout the house like he doesn't have a care in the world. Oh wait, also he is lying about his scheduling as well. He is adding 2 hours on to his work day tomorrow and he lied about where he was on his day off. He claimed to be with a friend but when his friend came over to discuss work last night it was obvious he hadn't seen him yesterday. I say nothing. Honestly, I just want to know if he is cheating. This way I can get his ass out of the bedroom. An awkward situation and one that he even woke me up the other night. What he was doing I don't know but he pretended to be sleeping when I woke up. Mind you, I was in a coma. so I don't know if he was sexually molesting me, being a dick to wake me up knowing I have problems falling back to sleep or he could have been trying to choke me (hehehehe)
Anyway, I was talking to my girlfriend about it today. I didn't realize how matter of factly I was talking about it. She said...follow him tomorrow. He has added two extra hours to his day, see where he goes. Oh I forgot to say that I checked his calendar book and saw it didn't match the family wall calendar. And I wrote down numbers from his cell phone.....this way I can call to see if a woman answers.
However, I am really busy with work. Don't have time right now for the intense detective game nor do I have any desire to be following him around for two hours. What a waste of time. And quite frankly, I don't care that much. If I knew he was definitely doing that, I would follow and take pictures. However, since I am not sure, I have too much work to do.
this is where my girlfriend began to laugh hysterically. I guess it is so obvious that I don't love him anymore. Another wife would be frantic.....freaking out. I find it to be something on my Things To Get To. Well I went online and decided I figured out a way to do this without having to waste my hours. I went online and found this tracking device. It's called TrackStick. Basically, you put it in the car (or on a person) and it tracks a week where they are. then you, at anytime, can put it in your USB port and with Google Earth Map, it actually maps out and shows you the different locations that they stopped at.
So here's my plan. I couldn't get it for tomorrow. There wasn't enough time. So I am ordering it. For $130, I will just place it in his car...under the seat or in the trunk area (he won't see it). then I will collect it in a few days and review it. See if he is anywhere he shouldn't be and then I can research it. And, I will have this device for when my son begins to drive. The site gave me that idea.
So, fellow wanderers...this device is really a scary thing. Way too inpensive and way too easy to use. I mean think about it. I would have a hard time explaining the hotel parking lot on the GPS. I think I am going to start parking on the street with Mr. Porsche. And with MM, doesn't matter anymore. But that parking lot is exclusive and you wouldn't be able to talk your way out of that one.
So, friends beware of the Trackstick.....lol I am going to get an affiliate code and put it on the side just in case you are intersted in purchasing it or other spy products. I am going to do a special feature on them or my website. Except it will be more on things to watch for...the other side....heheheeh
Anyway, I was talking to my girlfriend about it today. I didn't realize how matter of factly I was talking about it. She said...follow him tomorrow. He has added two extra hours to his day, see where he goes. Oh I forgot to say that I checked his calendar book and saw it didn't match the family wall calendar. And I wrote down numbers from his cell phone.....this way I can call to see if a woman answers.
However, I am really busy with work. Don't have time right now for the intense detective game nor do I have any desire to be following him around for two hours. What a waste of time. And quite frankly, I don't care that much. If I knew he was definitely doing that, I would follow and take pictures. However, since I am not sure, I have too much work to do.
this is where my girlfriend began to laugh hysterically. I guess it is so obvious that I don't love him anymore. Another wife would be frantic.....freaking out. I find it to be something on my Things To Get To. Well I went online and decided I figured out a way to do this without having to waste my hours. I went online and found this tracking device. It's called TrackStick. Basically, you put it in the car (or on a person) and it tracks a week where they are. then you, at anytime, can put it in your USB port and with Google Earth Map, it actually maps out and shows you the different locations that they stopped at.
So here's my plan. I couldn't get it for tomorrow. There wasn't enough time. So I am ordering it. For $130, I will just place it in his car...under the seat or in the trunk area (he won't see it). then I will collect it in a few days and review it. See if he is anywhere he shouldn't be and then I can research it. And, I will have this device for when my son begins to drive. The site gave me that idea.
So, fellow wanderers...this device is really a scary thing. Way too inpensive and way too easy to use. I mean think about it. I would have a hard time explaining the hotel parking lot on the GPS. I think I am going to start parking on the street with Mr. Porsche. And with MM, doesn't matter anymore. But that parking lot is exclusive and you wouldn't be able to talk your way out of that one.
So, friends beware of the Trackstick.....lol I am going to get an affiliate code and put it on the side just in case you are intersted in purchasing it or other spy products. I am going to do a special feature on them or my website. Except it will be more on things to watch for...the other side....heheheeh
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
A New Contender Just Appears
Feeling much, much better. Wow, amazing how something like that can fuck up your head. Well, I sulked enough and it is now time to move on. There is still that sad, empty part in me. There is still that deep, deep, void. But quite frankly, I refuse to give in. I do find all I want to do is sleep....an escape...but I have to push myself. I am actually starting this new vitamin regimen. A friend of mine swears by it, so let's see if it works for me.
Anyway, quick update. I dumped all the frogs. And then there was one guy who wasn't exactly my type from Ashley but he IM'd me and well we had the best conversation. It wasn't all sexual...in fact it was very mentally stimulating. He has a great sense of humor, an educated mind and I can't even begin to tell you how we turned a discussion about the law into an entire sexual discussion.....gavels, motions, etc etc. It was mentally stimulating and entertaining.
Today he called me. Let's call him, Mr. MBA. We literally spoke on the phone for two hours. There wasn't even a lapse in the conversation, like we knew each other forever. Yes, there was a sexual tone (and I did even masturbate while he was talking to me). But it's the mental challenge that we are both enjoying so much. The quick smart wit. something I had with MM.
I don't know where it is going with him. I do want to meet him eventually but I was glad to hear he was out of town for the rest of the week. We could talk, but no meeting scheduled. Mr. Porsche has been so busy (and I do understand) we have been having fabulous talks but we haven't ben able to hook up.....
And then there is the husband. Oh tomorrow morning I will give you details. I think he is fooling around. However, he is horrible at it. He needs to read my blog. He needs to smarten up and take some cheating tips. You are going to laugh when you hear the details. Actually, I had my girlfriend gasping for air today. I didn't realize how matter of factly I was discussing it. It's funny..
Till tomorrow!! xoxoxxoxox
Anyway, quick update. I dumped all the frogs. And then there was one guy who wasn't exactly my type from Ashley but he IM'd me and well we had the best conversation. It wasn't all sexual...in fact it was very mentally stimulating. He has a great sense of humor, an educated mind and I can't even begin to tell you how we turned a discussion about the law into an entire sexual discussion.....gavels, motions, etc etc. It was mentally stimulating and entertaining.
Today he called me. Let's call him, Mr. MBA. We literally spoke on the phone for two hours. There wasn't even a lapse in the conversation, like we knew each other forever. Yes, there was a sexual tone (and I did even masturbate while he was talking to me). But it's the mental challenge that we are both enjoying so much. The quick smart wit. something I had with MM.
I don't know where it is going with him. I do want to meet him eventually but I was glad to hear he was out of town for the rest of the week. We could talk, but no meeting scheduled. Mr. Porsche has been so busy (and I do understand) we have been having fabulous talks but we haven't ben able to hook up.....
And then there is the husband. Oh tomorrow morning I will give you details. I think he is fooling around. However, he is horrible at it. He needs to read my blog. He needs to smarten up and take some cheating tips. You are going to laugh when you hear the details. Actually, I had my girlfriend gasping for air today. I didn't realize how matter of factly I was discussing it. It's funny..
Till tomorrow!! xoxoxxoxox
Monday, November 17, 2008
Three Men In One Month?
Anonymous, I agree with your comments. That is why I was even more screwed up. I had planned this great day and then when he did what he did....I was in shock. Truly in shock and quite frankly I didn't realize that I was really hurt. I just thought it was the shock and that it was over at that second. And quite frankly, in the state of mind that I was in....I wasn't ready to walk out for good and let it end on that note.
It was stupid not to just walk out. But that is what I would have been left with. I am mad at myself that I didn't because in the fog of my mind I remember thinking I have to get out of here.
Looking back now. As dysfunctional as it may sound, I am glad I stayed. It ended on a positive note....and for the first time in over 1 1/2 years...I have no desire to hear from him. I cannot put myself in a dangerous situation. And he scared me.
Sometimes you have to end something the way that you feel it may truly be able to end. I would have been distraught if we ended on terrible terms. Now, I am feelng ok.
Today was a rough day for me. Not because of MM but because of the realization that I don't think if I fucked 10 men in one month....I would necessarily be happy. I did three men this month. And...it's not the answer.
The answer need to come from within.
It was stupid not to just walk out. But that is what I would have been left with. I am mad at myself that I didn't because in the fog of my mind I remember thinking I have to get out of here.
Looking back now. As dysfunctional as it may sound, I am glad I stayed. It ended on a positive note....and for the first time in over 1 1/2 years...I have no desire to hear from him. I cannot put myself in a dangerous situation. And he scared me.
Sometimes you have to end something the way that you feel it may truly be able to end. I would have been distraught if we ended on terrible terms. Now, I am feelng ok.
Today was a rough day for me. Not because of MM but because of the realization that I don't think if I fucked 10 men in one month....I would necessarily be happy. I did three men this month. And...it's not the answer.
The answer need to come from within.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
I am back...it only hurts when I sit now. Like a hemmoroid I guess. I was cracking up yesterday...to think I write a blog and give my butthole updates......I mean only in the BlogWorld....lol Such a private thing yet I reported step by step....LMAO
I have to let it go for now and move on. Deal with it again when he contacts me.
I haven't reported the second half of the day with MM because it feels like it didn't happen. How could I have gone from one spot to having a day like we had. Because it was so good, it is now so painful to think about. One, because its not going to ever happen again but also because how could I go on with the day as if nothing happened? how little respect did I have for myself? However, in my defense, I didn't feel pain after and I didnt want us to end like that..in a negative drama moment. I did think about leaving but I composed myself.
So as I said, it was his birthday...no mention of it..but as we lied there he said "why did you have to see me today?"
Innocently I looked at him....Just did! Why? Anything wrong with today? With an innocent girl look. Oh he knew that I knew yet he loved the game.
I bought lunch...and we ate and we talked. It was nice. We spoke about work, about life, friends, how things are bad financially....we joked...he was back to himself.
And then we finished eating our sandwiches and I got up....and took this great brownie cake slice and put a candle in it. He hates this..I knew it..I did it anyway and was giggling..... Make a wish....he quickly blew out the candles....damn your still here....lol And I laughed and said.....oh I can arrange that to be different..no I don't want that..he said. And he kissed me.
And then the fun began......I grabbed the whipped cream and slowly covered the tip of his cock. It was cold, he laughed. I licked up every little bit of it...he loved it. So now, you know me, over the top, whipped creamed his entire cock and balls AND if you remember the sparkles incident (the sparkles from my Victoria Secret underwear were everywhere and he was flipping) WELL....today I brought SPRINKLES.....and I said, you told me no sparkles but you didn't say anything about....SPRINKLES....and I covered his cock with sprinkles....well he was dying...laughing so damn hard...we both were. And then I ate and sucked every inch of his cock...getting each sprinkle....it was hysterical....
After I was done, we kissed and then we had one of our hot sex sessions. His cock knows just how to find my GSpot. And this time, he knows how to make my body sing. And he did. I was cumming like a river....my clit needed that release.
We lied down and held each other. We talked as if nothing had happened earlier. We talked about stupid things and watched the Brady Bunch on the Trivia Pursuit television show. A little time passed and then we found ourselves kissing slowly....two people with emotional voids. Two people who are deprived of that caring and loving touch and affection from another. We made love. Slow, passionate, slow thrusts, slow caresses and that holding onto each other for dear life. Those kisses that have passion, those waves of heaven that flow over you. Missionary position...with him kissing me and me holding him so close that our bodies couldn't get any closer. Holding him and hugging him as if I were never going to make love again in my life. And then we both came. Which usually its when we are more wild...but this time, it was during this session.
So as you can see, it was as if I was with two different people there. I don't think he would have done what he did if he knew it was going to hurt me like that but it was an act of violation. Hopefully now you can see, why I was even more torn by what happened. I mean it wasn't just violent..then it would have been easy. It was every emotion that could possibly exist in life.
It took me days to write this post. I think I needed to details to disappear a little from both parts of the day. IT was a hot and memorable day and also the most horrible experience and my mind had problems computing it. I admit it, I was depressed all week. Really badly depressed. Other crap went down too. It was one of those emotional rollercoasters.
I have to let it go for now and move on. Deal with it again when he contacts me.
I haven't reported the second half of the day with MM because it feels like it didn't happen. How could I have gone from one spot to having a day like we had. Because it was so good, it is now so painful to think about. One, because its not going to ever happen again but also because how could I go on with the day as if nothing happened? how little respect did I have for myself? However, in my defense, I didn't feel pain after and I didnt want us to end like that..in a negative drama moment. I did think about leaving but I composed myself.
So as I said, it was his birthday...no mention of it..but as we lied there he said "why did you have to see me today?"
Innocently I looked at him....Just did! Why? Anything wrong with today? With an innocent girl look. Oh he knew that I knew yet he loved the game.
I bought lunch...and we ate and we talked. It was nice. We spoke about work, about life, friends, how things are bad financially....we joked...he was back to himself.
And then we finished eating our sandwiches and I got up....and took this great brownie cake slice and put a candle in it. He hates this..I knew it..I did it anyway and was giggling..... Make a wish....he quickly blew out the candles....damn your still here....lol And I laughed and said.....oh I can arrange that to be different..no I don't want that..he said. And he kissed me.
And then the fun began......I grabbed the whipped cream and slowly covered the tip of his cock. It was cold, he laughed. I licked up every little bit of it...he loved it. So now, you know me, over the top, whipped creamed his entire cock and balls AND if you remember the sparkles incident (the sparkles from my Victoria Secret underwear were everywhere and he was flipping) WELL....today I brought SPRINKLES.....and I said, you told me no sparkles but you didn't say anything about....SPRINKLES....and I covered his cock with sprinkles....well he was dying...laughing so damn hard...we both were. And then I ate and sucked every inch of his cock...getting each sprinkle....it was hysterical....
After I was done, we kissed and then we had one of our hot sex sessions. His cock knows just how to find my GSpot. And this time, he knows how to make my body sing. And he did. I was cumming like a river....my clit needed that release.
We lied down and held each other. We talked as if nothing had happened earlier. We talked about stupid things and watched the Brady Bunch on the Trivia Pursuit television show. A little time passed and then we found ourselves kissing slowly....two people with emotional voids. Two people who are deprived of that caring and loving touch and affection from another. We made love. Slow, passionate, slow thrusts, slow caresses and that holding onto each other for dear life. Those kisses that have passion, those waves of heaven that flow over you. Missionary position...with him kissing me and me holding him so close that our bodies couldn't get any closer. Holding him and hugging him as if I were never going to make love again in my life. And then we both came. Which usually its when we are more wild...but this time, it was during this session.
So as you can see, it was as if I was with two different people there. I don't think he would have done what he did if he knew it was going to hurt me like that but it was an act of violation. Hopefully now you can see, why I was even more torn by what happened. I mean it wasn't just violent..then it would have been easy. It was every emotion that could possibly exist in life.
It took me days to write this post. I think I needed to details to disappear a little from both parts of the day. IT was a hot and memorable day and also the most horrible experience and my mind had problems computing it. I admit it, I was depressed all week. Really badly depressed. Other crap went down too. It was one of those emotional rollercoasters.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
A Lucky Yet Empty Soul?
I can't thank you all enough for your kind words and support. I do feel violated and I just want to move on. Yes, this is going to affect my relationship with Mr. Porsche but primarily in the anal part. And I feel bad because he is going to think it was because of the butt plug....lol I am in a catch 22. Do I make him feel bad thinking he did something to me or do I fess up? Not sure what I want to do.
Well its quiet in my life right now. I have disconnected from every frog except for Mr. Porsche. I am feeling very alone. My IM is not IMing, I did go on Ashley for two minutes and met two guys. Neither my type. And I just came right out and told them that. Amazing how annoyed men get. Should I lie? Should I string them along and pretend? I can't do that right now.
So, now what? Depression is sinking in. I want to be free. I want some room. I want to stop working so damn hard. I want to spend time with my kids. And I want to feel wanted by someone. I kind of have that with Mr. Porsche...but there is only so much time he can give me. And with recent business changes, its going to get less.
So.....so.....so........how much longer can I do this?
Hubby had this brilliant idea to ask my parents to come out and watch the kids this weekend so we can go to the movies. I don't want to be with him. I looked at him like he had six heads. I can't pretend anymore. I don't want to pretend anymore. As far as I am concerned...if my parents are coming over, they can sleep over and I can go away with my girlfriends.
I have to say one thing. I am not a very religious person but I do have faith. I do believe in God and that things happen for a reason. And with today's economy and everyone around me losing their jobs.....I was thankful today. When I felt like God abandoned me when I was in financial ruins the past few years, I realize now that it was better to have happened three years ago and I have been able to build myself up now then for it to have happened right now. I am still not financially stable but I would be in real trouble if my company first closed now. At least I have been re-building and quite frankly, I am getting more clients each week (2 new potentials this week alone).
So concentrating on my career is my direction right now. but the void is so damn deep. Such an emptiness. But if you met me tomorrow, you would never know. A smile and some motivational words with an upbeat attitude can so easily mask an empty soul.
Well its quiet in my life right now. I have disconnected from every frog except for Mr. Porsche. I am feeling very alone. My IM is not IMing, I did go on Ashley for two minutes and met two guys. Neither my type. And I just came right out and told them that. Amazing how annoyed men get. Should I lie? Should I string them along and pretend? I can't do that right now.
So, now what? Depression is sinking in. I want to be free. I want some room. I want to stop working so damn hard. I want to spend time with my kids. And I want to feel wanted by someone. I kind of have that with Mr. Porsche...but there is only so much time he can give me. And with recent business changes, its going to get less.
So.....so.....so........how much longer can I do this?
Hubby had this brilliant idea to ask my parents to come out and watch the kids this weekend so we can go to the movies. I don't want to be with him. I looked at him like he had six heads. I can't pretend anymore. I don't want to pretend anymore. As far as I am concerned...if my parents are coming over, they can sleep over and I can go away with my girlfriends.
I have to say one thing. I am not a very religious person but I do have faith. I do believe in God and that things happen for a reason. And with today's economy and everyone around me losing their jobs.....I was thankful today. When I felt like God abandoned me when I was in financial ruins the past few years, I realize now that it was better to have happened three years ago and I have been able to build myself up now then for it to have happened right now. I am still not financially stable but I would be in real trouble if my company first closed now. At least I have been re-building and quite frankly, I am getting more clients each week (2 new potentials this week alone).
So concentrating on my career is my direction right now. but the void is so damn deep. Such an emptiness. But if you met me tomorrow, you would never know. A smile and some motivational words with an upbeat attitude can so easily mask an empty soul.
Primal Indeed!
Thanks Anonymous and Percy......thanks for caring.
I am in a funk. I have no desire to answer any of the men that have written to me....even King Dong who has been trying to lure me in....has been pushed away. Which of course you know, the more you push them away the more they come on stronger. How ironic....I really don't want another man now. I really don't want to search on Ashley for anyone new or even meet the three that I was flirting with.
Work! That is what I am concentrating on. Getting my life together...getting my career going. Being independent....no men!!! Yes, I am in one of those I hate men states. Except for my male friends who are so good to me and who care about me. the womanizers.....BYE BYE!!!! (do you know that line from Saturday Night Live....one of my favorite).
As for what happened....it wasn't me that he is angry with. His work sucks, his life sucks, he's been bumming and he warned me he was in a funky mood. I truly think when he did what he did, it wasn't a direct reflection on me and him. It was more of a fuck life response I just happened to be the one on the other end. I have never done anything to him to make him angry like that. If he read my blog, then he would know I know who he is and well.....now that I would have heard about. So it's not the other men. If anything, he is angry because I believed in him still. What is it...a masochist? He internally is miserable and the only thing I did was try to be there for him. It was maybe his way of destroying my belief. Who the fuck knows? I think it wasn't directed at me but at life....his frustrations. However, noo excuses for him...he knew what he was doing, I don't think he expected me to get hurt, but he did what he did with force.
Now I am hoping to heal mentally and physically. Physically is really pissing me off because it is a constant reminder of what happened and I want to move on already. Damn asshole.....which it would heal faster....lol
I will be okay. Now what do I say to Mr, Porsche? I have no desire to do anal for awhile. He's going to think its something he did (we were a little rougher last time). I can't tell him because he doesn't know I have still been seeing Mystery Man and quite frankly I don't know how he will react. I do know that if he knew he hurt me like he did......something would happen to him. I can guarantee that. Mr. Porsche, don't think he's connected exactly but I do know he knows people. So, I can't tell him. Mystery Man wouldn't be dead....but I can guarantee he would find someone to stick something up his ass as an eye for an eye concept.
Sigh....the hurting asshole...lalalalaa...I feel like a wimp....it's funny if it wasn't so pathetic. I mean, I always have I love Lucy things happen to me but I don't see Lucy getting into something like this.....
Enjoy your day!!
I am in a funk. I have no desire to answer any of the men that have written to me....even King Dong who has been trying to lure me in....has been pushed away. Which of course you know, the more you push them away the more they come on stronger. How ironic....I really don't want another man now. I really don't want to search on Ashley for anyone new or even meet the three that I was flirting with.
Work! That is what I am concentrating on. Getting my life together...getting my career going. Being independent....no men!!! Yes, I am in one of those I hate men states. Except for my male friends who are so good to me and who care about me. the womanizers.....BYE BYE!!!! (do you know that line from Saturday Night Live....one of my favorite).
As for what happened....it wasn't me that he is angry with. His work sucks, his life sucks, he's been bumming and he warned me he was in a funky mood. I truly think when he did what he did, it wasn't a direct reflection on me and him. It was more of a fuck life response I just happened to be the one on the other end. I have never done anything to him to make him angry like that. If he read my blog, then he would know I know who he is and well.....now that I would have heard about. So it's not the other men. If anything, he is angry because I believed in him still. What is it...a masochist? He internally is miserable and the only thing I did was try to be there for him. It was maybe his way of destroying my belief. Who the fuck knows? I think it wasn't directed at me but at life....his frustrations. However, noo excuses for him...he knew what he was doing, I don't think he expected me to get hurt, but he did what he did with force.
Now I am hoping to heal mentally and physically. Physically is really pissing me off because it is a constant reminder of what happened and I want to move on already. Damn asshole.....which it would heal faster....lol
I will be okay. Now what do I say to Mr, Porsche? I have no desire to do anal for awhile. He's going to think its something he did (we were a little rougher last time). I can't tell him because he doesn't know I have still been seeing Mystery Man and quite frankly I don't know how he will react. I do know that if he knew he hurt me like he did......something would happen to him. I can guarantee that. Mr. Porsche, don't think he's connected exactly but I do know he knows people. So, I can't tell him. Mystery Man wouldn't be dead....but I can guarantee he would find someone to stick something up his ass as an eye for an eye concept.
Sigh....the hurting asshole...lalalalaa...I feel like a wimp....it's funny if it wasn't so pathetic. I mean, I always have I love Lucy things happen to me but I don't see Lucy getting into something like this.....
Enjoy your day!!
Re-Read My Post
Wow, I did something I never do. I read my own post back. How fucked up it sounds when you re-read something when you are out of the moment.
How did I go back and have sex with him twice after that? Joke around so much? Light a birthday candle on his cock?
Because it was that one brief moment the deviant side of him reared its head. And as quickly as it appeared, it disappeared and the caring, gentle side of him came out. The person I know and who I talk with and giggle with. That dark side that I had never seen but weirdly knew existed appeared at my most vulnerable moment.
So how does my mind compute all this? I mean, I will tell you later about the time we had after. IT was one of our great sex sessions.....but the reality is...I don't know if I can ever chance the devil re-appearing. How sad. I think its really over this time. I think I was in shock (and still am in disbelief) what happened.
Mr. Prize is the one who years ago talked to me and explained dominance and submissive behavior. While distance is such an issue, we never got to sleep together except for those two times. He never got to teach me but we talk regularly and we have a special connection. He was online tonight and we talked about yesterday. He said it best..it was primal.
What hurts the most? Is how it showed such a is caring for me. It was on the lines of a rapist. An act of violence not sex. That is what this was, at the moment of my most vulnerable state....his anger and rage manifested.
Crap, this sucks....
How did I go back and have sex with him twice after that? Joke around so much? Light a birthday candle on his cock?
Because it was that one brief moment the deviant side of him reared its head. And as quickly as it appeared, it disappeared and the caring, gentle side of him came out. The person I know and who I talk with and giggle with. That dark side that I had never seen but weirdly knew existed appeared at my most vulnerable moment.
So how does my mind compute all this? I mean, I will tell you later about the time we had after. IT was one of our great sex sessions.....but the reality is...I don't know if I can ever chance the devil re-appearing. How sad. I think its really over this time. I think I was in shock (and still am in disbelief) what happened.
Mr. Prize is the one who years ago talked to me and explained dominance and submissive behavior. While distance is such an issue, we never got to sleep together except for those two times. He never got to teach me but we talk regularly and we have a special connection. He was online tonight and we talked about yesterday. He said it best..it was primal.
What hurts the most? Is how it showed such a is caring for me. It was on the lines of a rapist. An act of violence not sex. That is what this was, at the moment of my most vulnerable state....his anger and rage manifested.
Crap, this sucks....
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Meeting With Mystery Man--Part 1
As you can tell from his emails. There was a deviant tone in his email. Experience something different was what he said. I was so excited to meet him. Got dressed in this leopard outfit with leather, fishnet stockings and my new cutie boots.
He hates birthdays but I bought lunch, whipped cream and sprinkles, a brownie cake with a candle.....I wanted to acknowledge it. I didn't mention it in the email but knowing him, he knew that I knew.
This rendezvous is not exactly going where you think. In fact, I am very fucked up about our meeting yesterday. It was mixed of fear, tears, joy and excitement. I spent the day in bed today.....let me explain.
For 1 1/2 years, I have been meeting Mystery Man. This time he was into the dominance and submission sex thing. I figure, okay, I do it with Mr. Porsche and I enjoy it, it would be fun with him. I arrived and we kissed and I held him and he held me. I still mentioned nothing about his birthday. As we undressed, I reached for his cock and immediately got down on my knees. He had a tie....which he was using to pull my head in deeper. It was hot the way he could control my head with the scarf....and then he wrapped it around my neck. A little pressure, but nothing that was for alarm. I knew he was into something of choking...he's put his arms around my neck times before but never put any pressure. Today, he put a little more pressure but it was more of a statement than anything harmful.
I gave him the blowjob of his life. With my tongue swirling that baby. Sucking and licking like I haven't had cock in months. We went to the bed and I sucked him for a good 1/2 hour...of course we went into 69 and everytime he would get me to almost cum, he would stop. Beg me to fuck you...... and I did. Please baby, I need you inside of me. Please baby and so he took me from behind.
I was dripping and you know that feeling of euphoria when you are relaxed and just about to come and you start to float in the air? He was pounding me hard....really hard and I was rubbing my clit, all fours on the bed.....I could feel the wave coming and he was moving his cock in and out, in and out... and then he took it out and literally rammed it in my ass. Hard, no warning, my body went into shock. I saw stars, I collapsed on the bed into fetal position, could not talk and the tears just came streaming down my face. I couldn't move. Oh my God....was all that was going through my mind. It's over, I have to get out of here. But I couldn't move. There was no pleasure from that. I was violated. I trusted him and he destroyed everything. If he could do that to me, I don't know who he is or what else he is capable of. You know how you erase that from your mind. For some reason, I knew it was on purpose.....today, its fuzzy. But even though I can't remember the exact moment, I don't think there was an accident there.
Now, he felt horrible of course. I was also blindfolded and lied there with the blindfold still on and tears rolling down my face. He didn't know what to do. He gave me a second to lie there and then he came over and held me......he was talking but I couldn't hear. He spooned me and wiped my tears and held me tight. He truly was sorry but it took me some time to compose myself and be able to talk.
He held me in his arms and played with my hair. I couldn't stop the tears...he gave me water....and was caring. He was back to himself and even gentler. Should I have run? Probably, but right now I didn't want the ending to be like this. So I accepted his apology and we kissed and he was gentle and held me in his arms. We turned to tv on and we talked a little. the deviant man was gone, the old MM was back.
And now it felt like we moved to another day and time. As if that never happened and almost as if we made a joke out of it after. When he did that, my jewelry flew off....how bizarre...my earring fell out, my bracelet fell off, it was bizarre. So we joked that he fucked the jewelry off of me.
I might not have been so emotional if I wasn't about to cum. I mean it was where I was in my head that made it so damn emotional. I can't explain it. We did have a great afternoon after that. I put it aside but last night and today it keeps haunting me.
Actually, my ass is really hurt. I have discomfort today. I think he ripped something or I don't know. But my butthole really hurts. Feels almost like hemmorroids I guess or its just really bruised and swollen. I will tell you more about part 2 and his birthday. If they were two separate days, it would have been amazing. We fucked two more times and he came two more times. We laughed, we joked, we made penis whipped cream cakes....we had a fun time (as bizarre as that sounds)....but today, that other person is what stands out in my mind. I want to tell you about the great time, so I don't forget it. But I am truly sad today. Sad because our trust was destroyed. Sad because I am now somewhat afraid of Mystery Man. Trust is something you earn. And I trusted him beyond belief. He never had done such a thing to me...and now, in one brief second...it is gone. I don't know if I ever want to see him again.
He hates birthdays but I bought lunch, whipped cream and sprinkles, a brownie cake with a candle.....I wanted to acknowledge it. I didn't mention it in the email but knowing him, he knew that I knew.
This rendezvous is not exactly going where you think. In fact, I am very fucked up about our meeting yesterday. It was mixed of fear, tears, joy and excitement. I spent the day in bed today.....let me explain.
For 1 1/2 years, I have been meeting Mystery Man. This time he was into the dominance and submission sex thing. I figure, okay, I do it with Mr. Porsche and I enjoy it, it would be fun with him. I arrived and we kissed and I held him and he held me. I still mentioned nothing about his birthday. As we undressed, I reached for his cock and immediately got down on my knees. He had a tie....which he was using to pull my head in deeper. It was hot the way he could control my head with the scarf....and then he wrapped it around my neck. A little pressure, but nothing that was for alarm. I knew he was into something of choking...he's put his arms around my neck times before but never put any pressure. Today, he put a little more pressure but it was more of a statement than anything harmful.
I gave him the blowjob of his life. With my tongue swirling that baby. Sucking and licking like I haven't had cock in months. We went to the bed and I sucked him for a good 1/2 hour...of course we went into 69 and everytime he would get me to almost cum, he would stop. Beg me to fuck you...... and I did. Please baby, I need you inside of me. Please baby and so he took me from behind.
I was dripping and you know that feeling of euphoria when you are relaxed and just about to come and you start to float in the air? He was pounding me hard....really hard and I was rubbing my clit, all fours on the bed.....I could feel the wave coming and he was moving his cock in and out, in and out... and then he took it out and literally rammed it in my ass. Hard, no warning, my body went into shock. I saw stars, I collapsed on the bed into fetal position, could not talk and the tears just came streaming down my face. I couldn't move. Oh my God....was all that was going through my mind. It's over, I have to get out of here. But I couldn't move. There was no pleasure from that. I was violated. I trusted him and he destroyed everything. If he could do that to me, I don't know who he is or what else he is capable of. You know how you erase that from your mind. For some reason, I knew it was on purpose.....today, its fuzzy. But even though I can't remember the exact moment, I don't think there was an accident there.
Now, he felt horrible of course. I was also blindfolded and lied there with the blindfold still on and tears rolling down my face. He didn't know what to do. He gave me a second to lie there and then he came over and held me......he was talking but I couldn't hear. He spooned me and wiped my tears and held me tight. He truly was sorry but it took me some time to compose myself and be able to talk.
He held me in his arms and played with my hair. I couldn't stop the tears...he gave me water....and was caring. He was back to himself and even gentler. Should I have run? Probably, but right now I didn't want the ending to be like this. So I accepted his apology and we kissed and he was gentle and held me in his arms. We turned to tv on and we talked a little. the deviant man was gone, the old MM was back.
And now it felt like we moved to another day and time. As if that never happened and almost as if we made a joke out of it after. When he did that, my jewelry flew off....how bizarre...my earring fell out, my bracelet fell off, it was bizarre. So we joked that he fucked the jewelry off of me.
I might not have been so emotional if I wasn't about to cum. I mean it was where I was in my head that made it so damn emotional. I can't explain it. We did have a great afternoon after that. I put it aside but last night and today it keeps haunting me.
Actually, my ass is really hurt. I have discomfort today. I think he ripped something or I don't know. But my butthole really hurts. Feels almost like hemmorroids I guess or its just really bruised and swollen. I will tell you more about part 2 and his birthday. If they were two separate days, it would have been amazing. We fucked two more times and he came two more times. We laughed, we joked, we made penis whipped cream cakes....we had a fun time (as bizarre as that sounds)....but today, that other person is what stands out in my mind. I want to tell you about the great time, so I don't forget it. But I am truly sad today. Sad because our trust was destroyed. Sad because I am now somewhat afraid of Mystery Man. Trust is something you earn. And I trusted him beyond belief. He never had done such a thing to me...and now, in one brief second...it is gone. I don't know if I ever want to see him again.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Prelude to A Rendezvous with Mystery Man
Yesterday I left Mystery Man a note. Meet me on Monday at Paradise.....12noon..
It is his birthday today. I wanted to see him on his birthday even though I know he hates birthdays. I didn't mention that I remembered. Just meet me....
I was so thrilled to see his email pop up today......well, here is our discussion (it was so damn hot, it's not even worth re-writing).
CHERI:
MEET ME.......Monday, November 10th........high noon......at Paradise!!!!!!!
RSVP........the horny one that misses sucking on your cock and feeling
those thrusts!! Damn its been too long.....(she says with a pouting bottom
lip and innocent eyes)...... xoxo
MM: Why so horny?????
Cheri: WHY?!?!? Been Waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy toooooooooooo loooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnngggggggggg!!!!!!
Need that magic cock!!!!!!!! Meet me!!
MM: beat you?
Cheri: You can smack me.......lol
Meet me baby, my mouth wants that delicious cock of yours !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MM: > Should I handcuff and blindfold you while shoving my night stick down
> your throat over and over again until you gag? or should I bend you
> over and fuck you deep and hard while slapping your ass till your
> cheeks are bright red?
Cheri: Mmmmmmmmmmm............both are quite delicious........can we do both? lol
MM: You need to entice me , let's see how good your imagination is on the
fly, make me all hot and bothered, but be original, no standard lines
;-)))))))
Cheri: OMG.......do you need more enticing?!?! What is your favorite flashback?!?
> Oh I may just cum right here, right now!!!!!
You see, we don't need porn movies or written playboy articles........we
> have flashbacks. We have the real McCoy to entice us.
>
> Which moment should I think about? Should it be when I first see your cock
> and my mouth begins to water.....how all my mind wants to do is suck and
> lick your cock...the enjoyment I get out of going down on you and deep
> throating you......swirling my tongue around, trying to capture every
> centimeter of you......and then slurping as I reach the top. But then going
> down for more....because I still haven't gotten enough......and then as I
> look up to see your eyes with your cock hanging out of my mouth......how my
> body just yearns for that hot manhood of yours to be so deep inside of me.
> Hitting that spot that you sooooooo well know.
>
> Or maybe, it should be as you lean me over the bed, with one foot on the bed
> and you thrust your cock so deep inside of me......that I can feel you
> totally fulfilling me.......or that amazing feeling as you pull out and then
> thrust back in, pull out and then thrust back in.....and then you lead me to
> the bed and don't forget about the frog......the deepest of all
> penetration.......as I moan and feel my body reaching the point of no
> return.......MEET ME!!!!!!!!!!!!
MM: Those are all very hot flashbacks, I want to hear something NEW that
you are going to do to me and that I am going to do to you that's
going to drive me wild!!!! Work it baby, I know you have it in
you!!!!!!!!!!!!! you filthly little SLUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is your mind working overtime on this or are you fresh out of fantasies????
Cheri:The fire department was called because of the smoke coming out of my
> ears!!!!!!!!!!! > I am not out of fantasies.....I am just sitting here in HEAT!!!!!!!!!! > Enough words........ACTION BABY!!! Let's get to it!! THREE HOURS OF HOT SEX!!!!!!!
MM: There should be so much smoke cumming out of your hot wet pussy my
dear that I would need to wear an oxygen mask while my fire hose is
spewing out enought liquid to put out your inferno. Now give me what I
want you nasty lil whore!!!!
And so we made plans to meet. 1:00PM.......Paradise........
It is his birthday today. I wanted to see him on his birthday even though I know he hates birthdays. I didn't mention that I remembered. Just meet me....
I was so thrilled to see his email pop up today......well, here is our discussion (it was so damn hot, it's not even worth re-writing).
CHERI:
MEET ME.......Monday, November 10th........high noon......at Paradise!!!!!!!
RSVP........the horny one that misses sucking on your cock and feeling
those thrusts!! Damn its been too long.....(she says with a pouting bottom
lip and innocent eyes)...... xoxo
MM: Why so horny?????
Cheri: WHY?!?!? Been Waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy toooooooooooo loooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnngggggggggg!!!!!!
Need that magic cock!!!!!!!! Meet me!!
MM: beat you?
Cheri: You can smack me.......lol
Meet me baby, my mouth wants that delicious cock of yours !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MM: > Should I handcuff and blindfold you while shoving my night stick down
> your throat over and over again until you gag? or should I bend you
> over and fuck you deep and hard while slapping your ass till your
> cheeks are bright red?
Cheri: Mmmmmmmmmmm............both are quite delicious........can we do both? lol
MM: You need to entice me , let's see how good your imagination is on the
fly, make me all hot and bothered, but be original, no standard lines
;-)))))))
Cheri: OMG.......do you need more enticing?!?! What is your favorite flashback?!?
> Oh I may just cum right here, right now!!!!!
You see, we don't need porn movies or written playboy articles........we
> have flashbacks. We have the real McCoy to entice us.
>
> Which moment should I think about? Should it be when I first see your cock
> and my mouth begins to water.....how all my mind wants to do is suck and
> lick your cock...the enjoyment I get out of going down on you and deep
> throating you......swirling my tongue around, trying to capture every
> centimeter of you......and then slurping as I reach the top. But then going
> down for more....because I still haven't gotten enough......and then as I
> look up to see your eyes with your cock hanging out of my mouth......how my
> body just yearns for that hot manhood of yours to be so deep inside of me.
> Hitting that spot that you sooooooo well know.
>
> Or maybe, it should be as you lean me over the bed, with one foot on the bed
> and you thrust your cock so deep inside of me......that I can feel you
> totally fulfilling me.......or that amazing feeling as you pull out and then
> thrust back in, pull out and then thrust back in.....and then you lead me to
> the bed and don't forget about the frog......the deepest of all
> penetration.......as I moan and feel my body reaching the point of no
> return.......MEET ME!!!!!!!!!!!!
MM: Those are all very hot flashbacks, I want to hear something NEW that
you are going to do to me and that I am going to do to you that's
going to drive me wild!!!! Work it baby, I know you have it in
you!!!!!!!!!!!!! you filthly little SLUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is your mind working overtime on this or are you fresh out of fantasies????
Cheri:The fire department was called because of the smoke coming out of my
> ears!!!!!!!!!!! > I am not out of fantasies.....I am just sitting here in HEAT!!!!!!!!!! > Enough words........ACTION BABY!!! Let's get to it!! THREE HOURS OF HOT SEX!!!!!!!
MM: There should be so much smoke cumming out of your hot wet pussy my
dear that I would need to wear an oxygen mask while my fire hose is
spewing out enought liquid to put out your inferno. Now give me what I
want you nasty lil whore!!!!
And so we made plans to meet. 1:00PM.......Paradise........
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Advice: Don't move if your nipple is in his mouth!
aaah...it took two days and a bath for my nipple to stop hurting. It was my fault..I knew he had a good grasp on my nipple with his teeth and I continued to pull away...making my nipple more and more erect..he did look at me with shocked eyes...well, they were so erect and so numb I didn't feel anything....until the next day..... AWWWWWWW!! I couldnt wear a bra.....I couldnt let them loose...they were very sore. So, be smart, I learned my lesson..do not pull away
To my surprise, my asshole from anal sex and the butt plug was killing me, my ass was sore and my nipples. But my pussy was still craving more.....I am wondering if I am a nympho at this point....I love sex. So out of character from the person I once was...an asexual PTA mom...geez....how times have changed.
As for additional highlights of the other day...there were truly so many. From his deep insertion of the butt plug which while there was some pain, my body craved even more..
He loves to watch me masturbate. He says he gets such joy at seeing my body react and feeling me pulsating and my body spasming as I cum and moan with pleasure. He says the look on my face is priceless.
But I am also a pleaser...so I had to make him cum too. Its my satisfaction. So, I sucked on his cock for a long time....and then he finally came with me licking his balls and me using a vibrator by his prostate..I know just the right spot. Familiarity is sooo good with sex. It heightens it. Makes it even better...(ironically I am married to a guy for 18 years and we never have become comfortable with our sexuality together..sigh)... Anyway, as he was cumming, you can feel his prostate spasming...I love it...its a control thing....and this time he shot it on my face and then I swallowed the rest of it. It was damn hot.
Another favorite part for me (which all my lovers know) is the holding and cuddling. I love the entwining and the talking, the massaging and the gentle touches. I am so lucky that my lovers are into it too...or at least they do it because it is so important to me....give and take......
So that was my day. The sex was wild...from behind, I was on top...it was good. Ironically, the sex wasn't the hottest part.......except when I was on top and we were kissing passionately...I love kissing.
Well my ego had been terribly bruised by the single guys. But.....two of three have returned. And then there is the Fed Guy who is furious with me. He was pushing me to meet but quite frankly, he offers what I am getting from Mr.Porsche. And I don't need the wild sex fulfilled and he doesn't bring to the table what Mystery Man does...so I told him, timing is everything and right now wasn't our time. He wouldn't answer me and was pissed. I feel bad but you cant fuck them all!!!
I will update you soon. Right now, there are so many frogs in the pond, that I haven't' been on Ashley Madison in awhile....although there have been some tempting men that signed up.....
To my surprise, my asshole from anal sex and the butt plug was killing me, my ass was sore and my nipples. But my pussy was still craving more.....I am wondering if I am a nympho at this point....I love sex. So out of character from the person I once was...an asexual PTA mom...geez....how times have changed.
As for additional highlights of the other day...there were truly so many. From his deep insertion of the butt plug which while there was some pain, my body craved even more..
He loves to watch me masturbate. He says he gets such joy at seeing my body react and feeling me pulsating and my body spasming as I cum and moan with pleasure. He says the look on my face is priceless.
But I am also a pleaser...so I had to make him cum too. Its my satisfaction. So, I sucked on his cock for a long time....and then he finally came with me licking his balls and me using a vibrator by his prostate..I know just the right spot. Familiarity is sooo good with sex. It heightens it. Makes it even better...(ironically I am married to a guy for 18 years and we never have become comfortable with our sexuality together..sigh)... Anyway, as he was cumming, you can feel his prostate spasming...I love it...its a control thing....and this time he shot it on my face and then I swallowed the rest of it. It was damn hot.
Another favorite part for me (which all my lovers know) is the holding and cuddling. I love the entwining and the talking, the massaging and the gentle touches. I am so lucky that my lovers are into it too...or at least they do it because it is so important to me....give and take......
So that was my day. The sex was wild...from behind, I was on top...it was good. Ironically, the sex wasn't the hottest part.......except when I was on top and we were kissing passionately...I love kissing.
Well my ego had been terribly bruised by the single guys. But.....two of three have returned. And then there is the Fed Guy who is furious with me. He was pushing me to meet but quite frankly, he offers what I am getting from Mr.Porsche. And I don't need the wild sex fulfilled and he doesn't bring to the table what Mystery Man does...so I told him, timing is everything and right now wasn't our time. He wouldn't answer me and was pissed. I feel bad but you cant fuck them all!!!
I will update you soon. Right now, there are so many frogs in the pond, that I haven't' been on Ashley Madison in awhile....although there have been some tempting men that signed up.....
Friday, November 07, 2008
A Wack for Each Minute You were late my dear lover!
If I had to describe MR. Porsche in a few words.....Wild, Deviant, Fun, Controlling, Giving, Caring and Experimental.
We met today and I gotta tell ya...it was amazing. What makes it so great.....with one way, he is comforting me and making me feel secure. In the next way, he is pushing me out of my comfort zone. The word Trust is a strong foundation and respect. Both which we have for each other and makes a hot combination for over the top sex.
He was 45 minutes late....I decided to see if I could find a Halloween costume....hmm...a feathered mask would be fun and a maids duster and cuffs. Good combination for fun. As a preface, the horniness I felt at one oclock today was almost unbearable. I thought I was going to explode. I was tempted to masturbate but I love when I meet him and I am so damn horny..adds to the fun.
I told him for each minute he was late...now 60, he was getting his ass smacked. He laughed on the phone. I was frisky, I wasn't in the mood to be the submissive one and I was going to put up a good fight today. A challenge he might not have wanted, but one he was getting. We ran in the room, he stripped and laid naked in the bed on his stomach......his soft ass calling me and so I kissed him gently and WACK.....and then another WACK.....his eyes bugged out of his head. I get 60 for each minute!! I scream in delight....."oh you are going to get 60 okay" he says back and then the wrestling began...and, I am no match for him. He is super strong. But I put up a good fight.....but soon I was stuck under him with my hands secured and he managed to get all 60 in. My ass was red, burning and I was shreiking in giggles and pain....
I have to go to the bathroom I scream....and so he lets me up. I kind of lied....got up and smacked his ass two times and ran to the bathroom. Appearing as a french maid.... "Oh misseur, the female who was here who did those terrible things to you has left...I will be tighting up a little......" and so I began to kiss him and suck his face......teasing him with the feather duster....he was hard and loving it......
And then....out of now where, this desire came over me....uncontrollable to smack his but again......and so I did...needless to say he didn't see it coming (I claimed there was a bug but he didn't believe me). Needless to say, this was my end.....the wrestling began again.....
Okay, I am falling asleep.....a day of sex like I had and I can't even keep my eyes open......to be continued in the morning!!
We met today and I gotta tell ya...it was amazing. What makes it so great.....with one way, he is comforting me and making me feel secure. In the next way, he is pushing me out of my comfort zone. The word Trust is a strong foundation and respect. Both which we have for each other and makes a hot combination for over the top sex.
He was 45 minutes late....I decided to see if I could find a Halloween costume....hmm...a feathered mask would be fun and a maids duster and cuffs. Good combination for fun. As a preface, the horniness I felt at one oclock today was almost unbearable. I thought I was going to explode. I was tempted to masturbate but I love when I meet him and I am so damn horny..adds to the fun.
I told him for each minute he was late...now 60, he was getting his ass smacked. He laughed on the phone. I was frisky, I wasn't in the mood to be the submissive one and I was going to put up a good fight today. A challenge he might not have wanted, but one he was getting. We ran in the room, he stripped and laid naked in the bed on his stomach......his soft ass calling me and so I kissed him gently and WACK.....and then another WACK.....his eyes bugged out of his head. I get 60 for each minute!! I scream in delight....."oh you are going to get 60 okay" he says back and then the wrestling began...and, I am no match for him. He is super strong. But I put up a good fight.....but soon I was stuck under him with my hands secured and he managed to get all 60 in. My ass was red, burning and I was shreiking in giggles and pain....
I have to go to the bathroom I scream....and so he lets me up. I kind of lied....got up and smacked his ass two times and ran to the bathroom. Appearing as a french maid.... "Oh misseur, the female who was here who did those terrible things to you has left...I will be tighting up a little......" and so I began to kiss him and suck his face......teasing him with the feather duster....he was hard and loving it......
And then....out of now where, this desire came over me....uncontrollable to smack his but again......and so I did...needless to say he didn't see it coming (I claimed there was a bug but he didn't believe me). Needless to say, this was my end.....the wrestling began again.....
Okay, I am falling asleep.....a day of sex like I had and I can't even keep my eyes open......to be continued in the morning!!
Monday, November 03, 2008
Indulge
Yeah, now this was smart. Be upset about a man, be upset about your life, be upset about your body and indulge in Halloween candy. Oh so damn brilliant but for some reason it gave me satisfaction. Of course now I am not happy but hey what are you going to do....
I am sad tonight. Sad because I met two single guys and they both turned out to be disappointments. I don't think I like the single world. Now let's just say that I have not changed my mind about being married....but I think I am going to be very lonely.
So what does a depressed woman do so she doesn't have to acknowlege her hubby. Play boggle on the computer of course........now that is pathetic but innocent. Off to bed.....tomorrow is a new day and a new week. I hope it brings some sunshine....
Sweet Wet Dreams to you all!!
And Rosie, thanks dear. And Anonymous....if you have a cock that matches up....I could use a smile, send it!
I am sad tonight. Sad because I met two single guys and they both turned out to be disappointments. I don't think I like the single world. Now let's just say that I have not changed my mind about being married....but I think I am going to be very lonely.
So what does a depressed woman do so she doesn't have to acknowlege her hubby. Play boggle on the computer of course........now that is pathetic but innocent. Off to bed.....tomorrow is a new day and a new week. I hope it brings some sunshine....
Sweet Wet Dreams to you all!!
And Rosie, thanks dear. And Anonymous....if you have a cock that matches up....I could use a smile, send it!
Sunday, November 02, 2008
King Dong is not my Prince Charming
I realized I didn't post my meeting with Mr. Porsche. Fabulous as always. Physically and Intellectually......what is missing.....the emotional....oh it is there between us and it is strong but its the emotional connection when you are married that makes it tough. And i realized I am guilty of it too. I avoid a man's eyes when we are in missionary.....I keep that emotional guarded, will either make it light with a joke or turn it dirty by whispering little things in his ear. This time, i looked in Mr. Porsche's eyes and the connection can be overwhelming. He kissed with passion......wild how you can feel the electricity. Oh, I came three times. But more importantly for me......he kept cumming......another double cum which shocks him and sends his head into euphoria. It's the oh wow factor....
Sooooo, last night King Dong and I got on line and IM'd back anf forth. He did pull away the night before....funny how you can feel it through IM. He admitted it. My baggage is a lot (note to myself--do not tell other men about my situation with my children at home. Single men can't take it). Ironically, married men find that to be a strength. They are impressed with my strength. Single men, look at it as baggage.
Well I was out last night for a gala event. After the event, I called King Dong to meet. You see, I needed to meet him. This man was dangerous since he was on my mind and making me feel insecure. We met in a parking lot and then we were going to get a Starbucks or go for a drink at the bar across the street.
We never got that far. We sat in his car and talked. Intrigued by me is what he said. He admitted he felt awkward with my daughter's situation....the whole situation. Seeing him in person, his body was hot....HOWEVER, he seemed older than the pix he sent. Which is fine, he still was really good looking. He was sincere, he was caring and due to my daughter's situation (because he does medical mediating) he understood it way too well. He was able to take a deeper look into my life (one I don't let people see). He felt my heartaches, he knows what someone in my situation goes through. However, he also hears the worse.
Anyway, he wasn't comfortable with it. We spoke, there was no sexual contact. He was serious, so damn serious. Quite frankly, a downer. There is a dark side to him...and a really heavy side of him. He hardly smiled, he wasn't a joking around type and our conversation was way too serious. He thinks too much and quite frankly is too serious and deep. We got along, I truly enjoyed him as a person but as a lover---I was happy to say that I didn't want him either.
He was torn with me. He enjoyed me, he thought I was pretty but my situation. I was trying to explain that he had no responsibility to my kids....that I was a self sufficient woman but he thought too much. I am beginning to think that a single guy is not for me...why? they are looking to get married. This is the third guy who I met that was still in search of a wife. I am not looking for that....if they are single at 40, they want to settle down and at this point of my life--I am looking for freedom and no commitments.
We left the meeting that he was going to think about it, that we would still be friends. Cocky on his part, assuming that I wanted him. I actually walked away thinking I really liked him but as a romantic partner, he wasn't for me. Even with his 9+ inches. Fun, excitement, exhilaration is what I want. Someone so serious is what I don't want. I need someone who enjoys life, enjoys laughing, who loves to giggle. He is not that person at all. A little bit of a bummer.
So I left last night and felt great! Why? This guy brought out all my insecurities. He was like a cover of a romance novel, I thought he was my Prince Charming....and when we met, I was glad to see he wasn't. He was like the romance novels, those guys always are internally tormented and the woman sticks by her man to internally save him. Well, King Dong is a really good catch but I don't need such a darkside. I want someone who makes me feel ALIVE!! Baggage is one thing, internal saving is another.
And, I love my baggage. And any man who can't handle it-too bad. There is absolutely no negotiation when it comes to my children. They are what counts......so back to the drawing board. But I feel better. Physically he wanted me....physically my breasts were turning him on beyond belief as they were looking sooo hot last night. but that's okay
Sooooo, last night King Dong and I got on line and IM'd back anf forth. He did pull away the night before....funny how you can feel it through IM. He admitted it. My baggage is a lot (note to myself--do not tell other men about my situation with my children at home. Single men can't take it). Ironically, married men find that to be a strength. They are impressed with my strength. Single men, look at it as baggage.
Well I was out last night for a gala event. After the event, I called King Dong to meet. You see, I needed to meet him. This man was dangerous since he was on my mind and making me feel insecure. We met in a parking lot and then we were going to get a Starbucks or go for a drink at the bar across the street.
We never got that far. We sat in his car and talked. Intrigued by me is what he said. He admitted he felt awkward with my daughter's situation....the whole situation. Seeing him in person, his body was hot....HOWEVER, he seemed older than the pix he sent. Which is fine, he still was really good looking. He was sincere, he was caring and due to my daughter's situation (because he does medical mediating) he understood it way too well. He was able to take a deeper look into my life (one I don't let people see). He felt my heartaches, he knows what someone in my situation goes through. However, he also hears the worse.
Anyway, he wasn't comfortable with it. We spoke, there was no sexual contact. He was serious, so damn serious. Quite frankly, a downer. There is a dark side to him...and a really heavy side of him. He hardly smiled, he wasn't a joking around type and our conversation was way too serious. He thinks too much and quite frankly is too serious and deep. We got along, I truly enjoyed him as a person but as a lover---I was happy to say that I didn't want him either.
He was torn with me. He enjoyed me, he thought I was pretty but my situation. I was trying to explain that he had no responsibility to my kids....that I was a self sufficient woman but he thought too much. I am beginning to think that a single guy is not for me...why? they are looking to get married. This is the third guy who I met that was still in search of a wife. I am not looking for that....if they are single at 40, they want to settle down and at this point of my life--I am looking for freedom and no commitments.
We left the meeting that he was going to think about it, that we would still be friends. Cocky on his part, assuming that I wanted him. I actually walked away thinking I really liked him but as a romantic partner, he wasn't for me. Even with his 9+ inches. Fun, excitement, exhilaration is what I want. Someone so serious is what I don't want. I need someone who enjoys life, enjoys laughing, who loves to giggle. He is not that person at all. A little bit of a bummer.
So I left last night and felt great! Why? This guy brought out all my insecurities. He was like a cover of a romance novel, I thought he was my Prince Charming....and when we met, I was glad to see he wasn't. He was like the romance novels, those guys always are internally tormented and the woman sticks by her man to internally save him. Well, King Dong is a really good catch but I don't need such a darkside. I want someone who makes me feel ALIVE!! Baggage is one thing, internal saving is another.
And, I love my baggage. And any man who can't handle it-too bad. There is absolutely no negotiation when it comes to my children. They are what counts......so back to the drawing board. But I feel better. Physically he wanted me....physically my breasts were turning him on beyond belief as they were looking sooo hot last night. but that's okay
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Confirmed....Too much baggage
Well, I may not be ready for the real singles world. A taste of being single the past week and quite frankly I got dumped twice. Haven't heard from Single Hot Rock Star. And this new guy, we had an intense conversation....we started to discuss my life and one of my child's issues because he's in that business. His tone switched.....he became very caring and serious. I was thinking what a great guy. Oh we chatted about sex, he told me how I was an amazing girl and then when I called him back......he didn't pick up the phone. Today, he was online, I wrote him a note, hey sexy....and he went to immediately Stepped Out.
So now the question lies......we did realize in the conversation that our hours are going to be hard to match up, the combination of my life...etc.etc. Truth is, we are done.
So now the question lies......we did realize in the conversation that our hours are going to be hard to match up, the combination of my life...etc.etc. Truth is, we are done.
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