A Major Leap

Yes, that's it...it's a major leap. It's not baby steps, its not a hurdle on a track or a horse...its like the leap they take in the movies from one building to the other....Yes, I would be much happier if I were not with him. I mean here's an example...I cleaned, made dinner, did all the dishes and he was going to give the kids baths. He chose to give one a bath. The other is harder. Hmmmmm....the anger inside of me is exploding.

I don't hate him as a person. Actually, he's not a bad person. But I do realize that even if we didn't have these financial issues....I still wouldn't love him. Too much has happened. I would want to be friends. Is that possible?

It's different now. Before I was miserable, desperate, almost suicidal. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. Now, I am petrified but I feel alive. Petrified because I don't see a set salary. So that scares me. Should I change jobs? I am thinking about it....at least look...so I can get a little security.

But this past two weeks....has been a great feeling. It's going to sound lame to you but all my bills were paid (ok not off, but payments were made) and I was able to go and buy something for each of my kids. It felt amazing!

Saying that sounds ridiculous in some ways because people on the outside world would never know. I mean I have a beautiful house, ok cars, live in a middle to upper class neighborhood. I work for some of the richest professionals in the area, eat at the most expensive places (business dinners)....yet I suffer internally.

So I sit here and as I am writing this I think...what would it feel like to be on my own? It would be tough but in other ways it would be amazing. My soul is yearning for the freedom. Would there be a Screwperman there if I needed him to save me as I fell?

Okay, another week. Settle down....a new month is approaching. I need to concentrate, I need to focus...I need to keep on track. I want to give you a little warning....its that time of the month. Yes, both Mr. Porsche and Mystery Man are not going to be happy boys BUT think of the alternative....I know what each will think....ahhhh, her mouth still works!!! LOL

Sweet Wet Dreams!!!

Crazy Life, Will I Be Able to Do It?

Yes, a totally nonsexual post here...a mental release!

My week was one of those weeks that you want to pack up and start over. From a business perspective....a client who I give more hours than he pays for....blamed me for a failed holiday giving. I was so caught off guard that he literally held me accountable (it was his idea now that I look back). I wasn't expecting his response to be so brutal. Day 1..I was crying and felt like a wounded puppy. Today, I am angry. First, you send for a thank you and you should never expect anything. That's what a thank you is...secondly. his office refuses to track leads...so how does he know? I am actually going to send him an email today and outline what he needs his office to do. Damn, I am mad at myself. He has a way of blindsiding someone and you feel like a failure...until you realize....hey, you didn't hold up your end of the deal!!!

Mr. Porsche was away and he called. I adore him. I really do. He is supportive, he is sweet...he is caring....I love that. I feel a little guilt with Mystery Man being there but they are truly opposite ends of the spectrum in my life.

Okay back to my week. I am so proud of myself..Wrote down literally 25 things that I haven't taken care of.....and I did or started most. Had a plumber come in, appliance guy in, saw a little damn mouse and decided to call an exterminator in to avoid it being a regular problem in my life. So that was $1500 on problems but got everything that has been irritating me taken care of. No more washing dishes and having to turn the water on and off everytime I needed it under the sink. Stupid? Yeah....

I want to choke hubby. Do you have money for me? Not a penny. His theory is that he took care of the family for all the years before and now I am holding it together. Are you fucking kidding me?!?!? I can't even begin to tell you the disasters that he did over the years. I ran our business. Oh he went in there daily BUT the staff called me if there was any problems at all or negotiating needed or advice. Yes, while I was taking caring care of very sick children, I juggled the business. I'm not crazy, we shared the office with friends..when I told her this yesterday...she said...is he delusional?

I know he is putting money away. He is working that side job with his friend and he manages to have money for food... BUT here is my outlook.

The five year plan has been moved up to four years. I have gotten the finances as best that I can under control. This week, I paid off a lot of shit with a client's check I was waiting for. Have a lawyer checking into something with the house title. Need to get that straightened...getting all the ducks in a row...

Only a few steps left right now....build my company and start to promote it so I can have enough work to survive,straighten out the house deed and somehow get the kids to sleep through the night (that is the killer). I'm almost there. Almost there. And when I am there...will I have the balls to ask him for the divorce? I'm scared but I want it. If I don't, I think he will kill me (not physically but internally it is eating my insides out)!

Okay, quick update.....sorry....no sex the end of this week. Oh wait....I do have an email from Mystery Man discussing his flashbacks from our rendezvous! I told him I had a horrendous day and I wish we were celebrating his great quarter he had. His response...well here it is...he makes me drip!!!

Sorry your day was horrendous, hopefully you were able to flashback to when my cock was sliding deep inside you, as your legs were over my shoulders and the base of my throbbing tool was pressing up against your swollen stiff clit releasing your tension and causing you to orgasm with a flash flood of juicy goodness. Maybe you were able to imagine laying on your back with your head hanging over the edge of the bed upside down as I grabbed your head with both hands and guided my rock hard flesh flute so deep down your throat that it hit your tonsils like they were bowling pins....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Ceeeeeeleeeeeebrate good times COME ON!!!!!

3 Hours of Paradise

I just realized...I never wrote about my meeting with Mystery Man this week. Wow, it seems so long ago....it seems like it was weeks ago...and it was just this week.

Our meetings have been different lately...filled with sex and sex but also tons of giggling and joking around. We both have a awarped sense of humor. And giggling is an understatement. I mean this week i was laughing so hard that I was gasping for air....sex and laughter are the two best things for the soul and he has been giving me both.

Still laughing over that bunny "WHAT'"!?!" in my past post. And the sex....it is mind blowing. He knows if he puts my legs in the air.....and then goes behind me and my legs go down toward my head......and he's like a frog thrusting me (can you see it?!) I orgasm like crazy....he must get my gspot perfectly....and the fact that he looks like a frog fucking me....also gives me the giggles...a private joke he doesn't get. I do look like a frog...as he laughs and looks at the mirrors above.... I opened my legs and looked into his eyes.....he bent down to kiss me...I said to him "You are my married prince charming"....he smiled and kissed me again. Little does he know how deep that statement goes or what it means.

He fucked me from behind...he fucked me up against the wall with my leg in the air...I can't even tell you how many different positions....laughing, playing enjoying each other.

then we used the wedge that I brought we were doing good until the
wedge started to move.....we were moving across the room with every thrust....it was hysterical.

We cuddled and he held me. We entwined and talked about work and life. He's opening up more...its nice. And then, this rush of emotion came over me...and it hit him too...the sensuality in our contact was intense....slow, deep thrusts as he
sucked on my nipples......it was erotic, it was fucking sexual and hot....it was touching...just the sensuality caused me to orgasm and then he flipped me over..knowig that I love when our fingers entwine and he enters me from behind and he looks at me in the mirror....we are looking into each others eyes and we can each see the other....there is something really hot about that...he kisses me and then throws me a kiss in the mirror...yes, there is no place in the world I would rather be then right here.

We had lunch after that....and then....back to wild sex...but this time..he flipped my head over the bed and he thrusted his cock deep in my throat...so deep....I am getting better....my gag reflex isn't as great and I can get him down way down my throat. He moans and he loves it. While I liked the position....the blood was rushing to my head and I had to get up...can't pass out!

So three hours flies when you are having fun. He's in the shower and I am relaxing in bed....he looks out. I yell at him...damn it already....why do you not trust me. It's been almost a year..don't you think if I wanted to look at your wallet or computer I would have done it already. Or I could have had your license plate traced. I want you to tell me who you are, not sneak and look.

I trust you and I know you could have looked already. I don't believe him. He is so nervous about it. Truth is, I'm dying to know. But I also know that if he caught me, he would be gone. And why do I need to know his full name? I really don't. Except it is bizarre that I don't know his name, where he lives....yet I can tell you exactly what he loves.....what makes his moan, what makes him smile, what makes him get annoyed and how to get him to cum. Lets see, he loves when I pull his cock back towards me and deep throat him....there is nothing more that he loves.

He throws me a kiss as we leave. i still get nervous that is good by. His disappearance acts make me so unsteady. I think he knows it because hes email me that night and almost everyday now. Even if its a little joke, so I know he is there. Is that his way of giving ? I think so. He apologized for hur.ting me last time.

So that was our day. I feel like it was centuries ago...this week sucked at work. I got paid on a big job. so I put the money into fixing my dishwasher, refrigerator and leaks around the house. I spent $10,000 this month in mortgage, fixing the house, insurance, catching up on bills. And how much did the hubby give me? NOTHING!! I asked him how are we paying the bills: I don't know. Oh okay. I am disgusted by him. I can't even look at him.

Oh well,,,,let's not think about it anymore....have a great weekend!

A Hypothetical Frog --"I Love You"

Wow...Lion really got me thinking with his post. What happens if one of the frogs just blurted out 'I Love You' in bed or a dinner. What would you do? Hmmmmm....yes, I have been sitting here just thinking about that to try to find the real, honest answer.

Let's see...I am assuming you are asking about a frog that I truly care about and have been involved with. If one of them said 'I Love You' I would get a rush of tingles and a sense of an inner fulfillment and my whole body would tingle. It would be the most amazing feeling that I have felt in such a long time. The joy might even bring tears to my eyes and my immediate reaction would be to tell them I love them too and cuddle into their arms.

Now here's a really sad comment. I don't know the last time I heard I Love You. Maybe when I first got married. I can't even remember. I don't even know if I ever was totally in love with my husband or he with me. So, the fact that someone would love me -- would be the most amazing feeling I could ever feel.

I would of course tell him that I love him too if I felt that way. (well, if it were DigEm, MM and Porsche are the ones who come to mind). I love them for all the support and caring and the way they make me feel. I love them for the support they give me and how much they care. I love them for giving so much of themselves!

And Now For the Reality.....

I went to Ashley Madison to fill a void that was in my heart and my soul. And I have found it. The flirting, the mystery and fun of meeting a man....words going back and forth, comments oozing with sexuality...will he be the one that can make my heart sing? Will we meet and have a great connection? It's addicting in a good way. I can't explain the feeling but you feel like a little kid again who has their first crush. I giggle again, I blush again....I smile from ear to ear and my heart dances.

HOWEVER....the I Love You would not mean any type of commitment for the future.
Ashley is really what it means. People are trying to meet, fill voids and be happy. Not leave their situation. You have to be honest about it and respect the persons desires as well as your own.

And falling in love? I am very realistic about it now. I would never expect any man to become part of my life on a permanent basis. My life is not easy. I have children with serious medical issues and thats a forever commitment. And I am okay with that because I love them to death. I have accepted that I have to rely on me...and me alone. Growing up, I was always so independent. My parents used to comment on how I was Miss. Independent..working since the age of 12. I look back and I think God was setting me up to deal with what my life would be.

So hearing the words "I love you"......maybe that is what I am in search for. Someone who truly loves me even if we can't be together, just knowing that I have been loved in this world...truly loved will be just enough for me!

Sexually Content, Physically Content, Mentally Content

Quite surprisingly......the word content was very popular this week. I have used it in the passed to describe my feeling with both DigEm and with Mystery Man. It's a feeling that you can't find an exact word for but you feel complete, you feel happy, you feel content. I guess its that feeling when you have just eaten a great meal and you feel content. Do you know what I am saying? lol

Well this week, both Mr. Porsche and Mystery Man used the word 'content' to describe our affair. Both said the same thing.....why would I look any further, I am very content with what we have here...and then they held me closer. Kind of a weird deja vu. Kind of weird to have two guys explain to you that you totally fulfill them mentally, physically and emotionally...that's nice. And they both said i was crazy in a good way (they love the avatars and generators I send to them).
I love being fun!! I love making them happy.....

But two of them? Geez....I never expected this. I mean DigEm was far away...we fulfilled each other emotionally and our souls. This is two guys that I am sexually involved with. And I truly care about each one in a different way. Mystery Man (I met him Monday......it was amazing) and today, Mr Porsche snuck 5 minutes to see me...some kisses, some giggling, some sucking on his cock like a little kid. It was so much fun....

I guess I am content....do I have to choose? I hope not.

con·tent2 /kənˈtɛnt/ Pronunciation Key -
–adjective 1. satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.

content
adjective
1. satisfied or showing satisfaction with things as they are; "a contented smile"

Not IF, but what time are we screwing!

Mr. Porsche is going away for a week. Something I forgot and when I remembered on Thursday....the thought of waiting over two weeks to fuck....was way too much for me. He works so damn hard, its hard to get away. Poor thing....when will I see him? He called me in the morning....he wasn't at work, he actually bought a gorgeous car that morning to add to his fleet of cars he already owned. And to top it off, it was my favorite car...yes, growing up, a model that I dreamed of fucking in. I had told him that when he was thinking about purchasing one. And now he owns one...geez...and the hot color that I love. I can't wait for him to ride me around in it, and do me in it. Yes, its a convertible too. Sigh....

Well if he has time to purchase a car, then he has time for me. so when are we meeting today? Silence. Well it actually wasn't a question, it was more of a statement. I was so damn horny and I needed him. I wanted him. Yes, I had to have him. I never am demanding but today I was. Otherwise I would have pouted and been annoyed as he promised Monday and he couldn't swing it. So, what time, I'll come to you!

His office staff was still there (damn workoholics) and I was trying to stick to the topic of work (I am working on a project with him). It was good,but they wouldn't leave...damn, its a Friday....a holiday...go home...

Well as we were working on the computer, my hands started to wander under his desk....my lips started to suck on his ear (he's so damn ticklish you could hear him giggling like a little kid). He calls down to the worker--when are you leaving? just a little hint...finally my hands are undoing his pants...I can't wait anymore for the worker to leave. Finally, he comes in and says good night..we are pretending to work on the computer but we are getting nothing accomplished.

As soon as he was gone...I go for his pants. Yes,I am dying to wrap my mouth around his cock. He walks me over to this couch....and he starts to undo his pants. My mouth is immediately attracted to his cock...like a magnetic...dying to lick and suck as much as I could. As if I have never sucked before. Licking and sucking...he finally says....do you know you give a great blow job! Now to me that is a compliment like no other. Especially for a girl who didn't know what to do with a cock in her mouth before she was married and barily gave head my whole marriage. This was a new enjoyment, a hobby for me. And to think that I am good at it...now that is pretty damn good!

Now I can get his cock totally in my mouth....really deep in my throat and suck..until he gets to a certain point and then he's got good girth and that baby starts to block my airway when he pushes me head down. And he doesn't let me up....he giggles as I squirm....

Take your pants down....I lower my pants and I am still on my knees. And now he turns me around towards this leather chair and bends me over....you like when I fuck you in my office.....yes, I can barily say......kind of a whisper as he is pounding me hard. you like when I pound you and thrust inside of you? Awwwwwwww...I can feel him all the way in...it is amazing....OH YES!! I can hear myself moaning and screaming. Yes, it feels amazing.....and to my surprise, I guess the fucking in his office, the anticipation was more than I could handle and the flow of an orgasm overcame me. my whole boy pulsating as he pushed his cock harder and harder in me.
Yes, I was happy....

I went back to blow him more but he can't cum in his office. Its too much pressure around, too much realization for him....so I did walk him back to his desk to discuss our next meeting. Me sucking him under his desk and then there is this angled table in his office...yes, I want him to fuck me there too....

We laughed, we talked and I had to get going. What a fun afternoon! What joy it is to get laid like that in the middle of the day......a determined fuck! As we left he kissed me good by...."Love ya" he said as he kissed me. Now its back to that word and its meeting. I love a man who can handle the word LOVE. I mean there are so many different loves in the world. Many men are lovephobics. Like Mystery Man, if I said Love ya to him.....he would flip and run. However, with Mr. Porsche (and certain other frogs) I do love them. I have loved them for the person they are and how they make me feel. I have loved them for bringing me happiness and respecting me and being my friend. That is what that Love Ya was....it was such a turn on to me. Probably because he knew I would be okay with it....I understood it....yes, he's something special.....

Sexual Mind Candy From MY Secret Lover

I don't know exactly what it is, but my horniness goes in waves. And right now, I am so damn horny...that it is making me crazy.

I hate putting both Mr. Porsche and Mystery Man in one post. Kind of feel like I am cheating on Mr. Porsche although Mystery Man was there first. I met Mr. Porsche on Friday. It was sooo hot....we fucked in his office. Details to follow.....

So, I am meeting Mystery Man tomorrow.....oh, he makes me wet. so damn wet....I asked him if he thought about me today...and this was his response. Can you see why he is sooo damn hard to resist?!

"Mmmmm...thinking about you as you squat down on your knees in front of me with your ass high in the air and your head on the floor. Your round cheeks spread wide apart revealing your succulent sweet pink pussy that is dripping wet waiting for my rock hard cock to slowly part your warm juicy aching lips. Can't wait to hear you moan and to beg me to ram my cock deep inside you as your ass gyrates and your hips grind back on my throbbing member. You know how good it feels as I straddle you and push my cock even deeper inside your slippery hole, my balls slapping up against your cheeks with each thrust, Nah....I can't say that I got any mind candy today...."

Happy Easter!!

HAPPY EASTER!!

A Bunny Dressed As A FROG..lol

What happened to that Cloud 9 sexual euphoria?

I did something today that I don't do.....I went back and read part of my blog. What a trip! A trip down memory lane.....I can't tell you how thrilled I am that I kept this blog. Happy memories come floating back with each entry I read. I even could feel the flutters in my stomach like I had with the anticipation of meeting Mystery Man.

And now another reality....I have changed. Good? I don't know. Bad? Not sure of that either. What was a flowering account with every exciting detail back then....now, I notice my posts are very different when I explain my meetings with a frog. Why? Not exactly sure.

Am I getting immune? I admit it that a rendezvous does not leave me on that cloud 9 euphoria for days like it did before. But I enjoy my meetings just as much if not even more. But the euphoria last only hours not days.

Have I gotten so much stronger? Yes. I have. the hubby not working, leaving me to pay all bills, I am 100% in survival mode. And now, I realize I am in survival mode alone. I'm okay, I am doing it but I am tougher. I can feel it....and that is good but in another way it is bad. I liked that person who believed there was someone out there that could fill my void. My Married Prince Charming.....

Have I turned into the a man's thinking? Well I can say that I am more realistic. I was devastated from a frog leaving before. Mr. Government and Soulmate Chris are the best examples. But those were my first two real connections. I was a newbie. Now, it hurts when they leave but I say Okay, I've done this before and someone else has come along. I really feel that way now. Of course, DigEm was a real hurt. As was Mystery Man when he was gone. Yes, the reality at this point....WHEN he leaves, I will be devastated again. And Mr. Porsche, I will also be devastated.

Mr. Electric...well that Eliot Spitzer thing he pulled...I am not upset because I am pulling back) Actually I think the combination of the Spitzer scandal and his wife finding out is what made him realize he had to stop that. Sadly, his wife was upset because it cost money. Not that he had been with a whore but that he wasted good money on it. Poor guy. I am there as his friend, but I am having a hard time with this prostitute thing.

So have my dreams died? Have my insides hardened? Was I naive before and now just realistic? I am not sure. I do miss that dreamy side of me though. As I am typing this, I think the big change was me. More confidant, more take charge and more realizing that I need to be the girl in charge. That these men are just bonuses to a day not the main event.

So many more men on Ashley Madison these days. The Eliot Spitzer scandal really heated up the site. Married men curious are signing up. so many new frogs in the pond. But honestly, my personal pond is in overload right now anyway. I have two amazing frogs and I am enjoying them both. But I love cruising the Ashley site. Seeing what's out there, seeing if there is a potential frog. Yes, I was tempted and asked for a picture yesterday......its an addiction but quite a pleasurable one. I enjoy the sociology to the whole thing....hehehe

A Paradise Day with Mystery Man

I met Mystery Man yesterday. I see a different side of him lately and I like it. We spend so much time giggling and laughing that it is really nice. He brought lunch to the room this time and we picnicked...and then we picknicked on each other....


Not as many positions as we usually do. Not as much raw sex but it was still hot. Okay so we fucked in 7 positions instead of the 15 we usually do. And I loved everyone! He is amazing....he knows exactly where to put his cock....thrusting hard....then slow...pulling out totally and then going soooo deep. Yes, I was a moaner today....actually a yeller is more like it. I am usually much quieter...but today I was begging him to fuck me harder.....and the screams that were coming out of my mouth as I orgasmed.....a little out of character for me....

Damn I enjoy him sooo!! I began talking to him about Ashley. He hasn't been on for awhile. He did pop on two weeks ago.....he said it was just to see if I was still on. I asked him why aren't you on anymore? He answered...because I have what I want. I am very content with us. I enjoy our time together. Well, for the first time...I was speechless. I didn't know what to say. I didn't see his honest response (usually its sarcasm) coming. In fact, he then pushed my hair aside and kissed me. He meant it. I just lied in his arms for a second and he held me tight....then of course he started making fun of me....

My affiliate code for Ashley has been doing well. As you know, I never hide it..my feeling is...I write about my life. If you are interested or curious about Ashley...check it out. If you decide to join, yes, I get money. I started to tell Mystery Man about my affiliate code and that I was happy it was doing well. All this Eliot Spitzer talk has people horny. He knew about the affiliate code but today he questioned more. Well.......I forgot he didn't know about my blog. Where do you mention your code? Oh boy......here it goes. I told him he didn't want to know. I said, forget it lets talk about me sucking your cock? It didnt work....now he was pushing.

Finally I said "No, if I tell you...I won't see you again...so forget it". And he took my face in his hands and said 'No,if you don't tell me, you won't see me again because I now know that I am a part of this. And if I see it online, I am going to be pissed." Oh fuck...now Mr. Porsche was intrigued with my blogging BUT Mystery Man...absolutely not."

I write short stories sometimes and include the code thats all. That wasn't exactly a lie. And his response....'so you write about our sexual rendezvous'?' CRAP! "Yes, I sometimes do but you are anonymous, I swear." He shot me a look. Silence.....he walked over to the bed and then ust grabbed the water. Then he changed the subject.

We began fucking again.......after I sucked on him for a few minutes...deep throating..he loves that now....and I am able to get him all the way down my throat. I love to hear him moan, it gives me such satisfaction. Then he got into this frog position and threw my legs over my head and my God, that is it. the ultimate position for my Gspot! Ecstasy was right there.....and he knew it......just as I was about to cum he opens my legs as then said 'hi! my name is Cheri and I have an affiliate program on Ashley and I am an advocate and a business woman and I work really hard and I love to fuck and then he starts doing the banana dance from my earlier post" in a fake voice making fun of me. It was so hysterical, I started to laugh so hard...I mean we are fucking......it was so damn funny....we both dropped on the bed and started to laugh and laugh. "You are a fucking nut' he said to me. But he was okay with what happened. I was relieved.

I had such a great day with him. His phone did not stop ringing. Damn, the third call he said he had to get.......well, if you have to talk to that person, you have to make me cum while you are talking......yes, I laid on the bed masturbating and he was fingering me...he was determined to get me to cum.......as he was talking business....it was hot. Finally,I came...holding in the moan...but he gave me a smile.....and winked...damn he's hot!!

So that was Mystery Man. I still get nervous we will not see each other again. but he emailed me yesterday....yes, we are okay. Why am I with him? I am addickted.....lol

Well I finished this entry a day later. We actually met on Tuesday. Today, I spoke with Mr. Electric. We met. (wow, three different men, three days in a row!) except with Mr. Electric, I couldn't even touch him. He confessed to me that he would hire call girls to come to the hotel. I was shocked. He was stopping, his wife found out (ex wife to be) The same day I was there? He said no, no, no. Okay, I felt like it was a slap in the face. I tried not to tell him but I had to....and then the thought of my lips being a place that a prostitute was.......I couldn't even ask. I mean we haven't been together in awhile. I didn't even want to know. We haven't slept together EVER....but my lips....geez...I was gagging. He made me meet him today to talk. we are friends but I couldn't even touch him. Oh he didn't push at all. He knew I was really distant, he felt it. I'm sorry my walls were up high. Where we used to be able to talk so easily, our conversation was now strained. Kind of sad. I don't like to judge but I can't help the way I feel.

Multiple,Multiple Orgasms..Oh MY!

All I can say is WOW! I met Mr. Porsche today. I was stressed on my way there and quite frankly I wasn't feeling very sexual. Subconsciously, I think all the "improvement stuff" made me nervous that I wasn't going to feel comfortable. He knew that and honestly went out of his way to make me feel good.

I got there and couldn't just attack him like I usually do...and he was totally fine with that. He held me, we cuddled and then he gave me this great massage with oil.......the comfort was there now and all my anxiety was gone......I sucked on his cock for a little bit and then the next thing I knew, he was blindfolding me.

While my nipples are sensitive, I do like them to get lots of attention...actually, I like when he is sensitive and then builds up to being a little rougher on them. While I was blindfolded..he slipped these little rubber bands on my nipples or at least tried...truth is my nipples are too erect...they get really erect.....he liked that....and proceeded to put a clip on the other...my that hurt for a second. there is a thin line between pain and ecstasy....and I was there....

Suddenly, he rolled me over and I could feel handcuffs going on my hands.....and as he slipped my panties off.....he ended up putting them in my mouth.....just enough of an out of control feeling but not too much. There is the trust involved.....while I couldn't pull my hands out, I could spit out the panties at any time....but I was fine and enjoying this new experience.

He was determined to make me orgasm...not once but multiple. we all know I have a problem after the first one....my clit gets so sensitive and swollen it just doesn't happen....I fall out of that state so quickly....this was different. Mr. Porsche worked and worked and worked. With butt plugs, his fingers, a vibrator.....telling me that he was going to invite someone in......the whole experience was exciting....very exciting.....it took me a real long time but he was determined to make me orgasm.....I mean we were at it for at least 45 minutes.....he certainly gets points for determination.......I was dripping but I just couldn't hit the orgasm state....so close and then I would fall....up again as his fingers worked my ass and the vibrator was inside of me and then rubbing my clit....as he had my finger in my ass (handcuffs in the back)...it was quite a unique experience.

And then it happened...it was a rush of ecstasy....it built and built and then my whole body began to shake.....as he tells me to Let Go, let go. And so I did.....what and amazing feeling....and then..it finally happened.....he stopped for a second...he continued with the vibrator and his fingers but he left the clit for few seconds and then he came back to it.....and slowly rubbed....while the vibrator was going full force. Let it go....and then this rush came over me....A rush that I have never felt before....my whole body convulting.....it was a stream of pleasure. Oh my! It was amazing......I collapsed....I couldn't move....there was a few minutes like an aftershock.....he undid my handcuffs, he took off the mask...and I just laid on him....totally content and motionless....still in a euphoric state...wrapped into him.

I wanted to please him now. He gave me so much today....let me start with a massage and as he rolled over..his phone rang. Trouble at work. Major problem that just took the total wind out of his sails. Total tension.....I felt so bad. He didn't even get to enjoy....and after that call, understandably, he had to get back to the office. we talked a little. I tried to help. It really bothers me to see the BS that is going on in his company. A delicate situation that is like a game of chess. You need to plan your every move strategically.

I sucked a few minutes on his cock, to try and relax him. I tickled him (he wanted to kill me)....and then we had to cut it short. Quite frankly, I couldn't complain at all....I was feeling amazing. However, he didn't get his fair share. I gave him an for a massage and a fuck! The best orgasm I have ever had and he didn't even get a chance for me to return the favor.....oh my,the clamps coming off were excruciating......I think he took some of my tit with him.

We talked later on. I like that we communicate and so many different levels. I enjoy our connection....

And what about Mystery Man? Yes, he wants to meet tomorrow...and I can't resist. I need to learn to pace my days better.....emailing back and forth...laughing hysterical...my guard is way up. If he leaves, I know it is it. Tonight we just emailed back and forth songs and little snippets from CSI Miami.....and we talked a little. The man gives great email.

I was feeling a little guilty today about Mr. Porsche. And then he said something interesting...I'm not your ruler, you can do whatever or whoever you want. Hmmm...where did that come from? I hope he's not peaking at my blog...that would suck. MM would never ask. Why? I would laugh and he knows it. You aren't going to tell me anything about you then I do not owe him anything.

I better go to sleep....got to get my energy back up for tomorrow. Sweet Wet Dreams!!

Happy St. Patricks Day

HAPPY ST. PATRICK's DAY!!!

I couldn't resist this cartoon!!


May you all find your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow...or an orgasm or two!!
Yes, men...this is for you. Ladies, can you believe I couldn't find a hot, sexy man for St. Patrick's Day to post....damn...okay guys....you get the treat today!!

Little Blow Peep...

Little Blow Peep.....

Little Blow Peep has lost her sheep and doesn't know where to find him,

If I leave him alone, will he return to paradise,

Wagging his cock behind me?

Yes, that was my email to Mystery Man. Haven't heard from him....I was okay with that. I felt he was still there in a weird way. His return email:

How do you know I am not the wolf dressed up as a sheep waiting to eat you and pounce on you?

I can always count on him for a funny response. He's been busy with work...will try and hook up this week....and then he told me to practice my deep throat skills with a banana till then...

Aaahh.....the visualization of a banana going down my throat...and then for some reason I see it breaking off and me choking on it! lol Maybe not a good idea. I told him that my deep throat skills directly relates to practicing with his hard cock. That no banana has that perfect head and hot blood running through it...that a banana doesn't pulsate and dance in my throat. And then I remembered this banana.....I had to send it to him. I so enjoy our emails.

A man who gives good email is such a treat. It's like opening up a present. The excitement and anticipation when you see the box. That's how I feel when I see that he sent me an email. An immediate smile and anticipation. I always know there is a sexual innuendo or treat in the box for me.

Tomorrow I am suppose to meet Mr. Porsche. I am in the mood for slow sex. No butt plugs, no biting of my nipples till they hurt. Just fun, slow sex. I am feeling like I need a connection!

So how did I end up with two men at a time? I broke my own rule here. I always felt that it was one man at a time. I guess I couldn't resist Mystery Man when he returned. Well Don't Think. I am not going to think about the fact that I am having two affairs. Mystery Man comes and goes so does he count?

Don't Shit Where You Eat....Eliot Spitzer on FigLeaf's Blog

I just finished reading a post by FigLeaf on his Blog regarding my post. It was an interesting take on the Eliot Spitzer saga with some additional views...worth the read if you have been following the scandal. I loved his take on it (thanks for the additional view on it.

One specific thing did stand out for me. It was his comments how he see the Ashley Madison site as anything different than other dating sites....how you can find someone in your local area. And then I thought about it.....why don't I just find someone local? And then I realized its the old "you don't shit where you eat" concept!

A local bar would bring me single people. A person who I met during the day is somehow connected to my life (whether its personal or business). And quite frankly I don't want that connection. So I go to Ashley. A kind of online married bar to meet people already pondering to have an affair. Something about a playground for people like me, who feel like I do....is quite enticing. I admit it, three years ago, I would have been in disgust at such a site. Talk about a total turn around. I guess that's what a deep void can do to ya....

You Blog Abour Our Affair? And How Many Men Have you Met on Ashley Madison?

A stressful week. I woke up this morning and finally, there was silence in my house. Yes, I was alone. It's been so long, I forgot what silence was. I had work to do, but let's face it--I saw no frogs this week. Mystery Man has disappeared again...(for some reason I am not upset). And Mr. Porsche and I, well with our early week tiff, the week just got too busy.

So what is a girl to do? Horny and there is no relief to be found. I go up to my bed...I lie down and plan on a nap. But I am tossing and turning. I decide I need to call Mr. Porsche, yes, I need to have him talk to me while I am masturbating. The thought of his raspy voice with that ahum that he says. The thought of him telling me how he would slip his cock inside of me if he was next to me.....oh my, I was already wet before the call.

I dial..and his damn voice mail picks up immediately. He's in a meeting or still home, RRRRR....what is a horny girl to do. Of course I first leave him a message 'hey baby, I am so horny for you, I want to play. Since I can't see you right now, I was hoping you would talk to me while I play with myself. My clit is so engorged thinking of you and I can feel the wetness. Call me back as soon as you can....I want to masturbate to your voice. I want you to make me cum".

Now what? Aaaahhh, my vibrator. The new bullet he bought for me. Imagining that we were at the motel and someone knocks on the door. He invites a man and a woman in to watch me masturbate, I try to resist, but the desire to cum overwhelms me and I dont care who is there. Allowing the man to put two fingers inside of me to feel my wetness, while I do circles on my clit....yes i can feel the rush of the orgasm starting to overcome me and rush to my head and then my body shaking.......aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....what relief...I fall into a deep sleep. Wake refreshed, start doing my work and then he calls. Baby you missed it!

I don't talk about passed frogs today. But something came up about my Ashley Affiliate program. So I was talking to him about it. I slipped and starting to talk about some of the powerful and interesting men I have been with and met on Ashley Madison. I realized as I started to talk, I never told him EXACTLY how many men I have met on there. Well I probably shouldn't have but once I started, it was too late. We started to laugh about it. Let's see, there was Mr. Navigator who people listen to for financial advice, the big swig of some international company (quite frankly, I hope he is better at his advice than he is in bed or maybe that is why our country is failing). Then there was Mr. Win....who actually was running for Mayor and he didn't win.....then there was Mr. Pulitzer.....who won a Pulitzer...lol So Mr. Porsche remarks, no wonder I feel so smart lately, my cock is where all these smart men have been.....hehehehe. There are more as you know but I decided with those three, I got my point across. A trip down memory lane.....my special secret lovers lane.

I told Mr. Porsche a little about my blog. Not much because I don't want him stopping by. He knew it existed but he didn't know exactly what I wrote about.

"So, let me get this straight....people read your blog all about your sexual affairs?"
"uhm...yes...and about my dysfunctional marriage and my fight to survive. I've made a lot of friends and met some great people."
"So people read about us and there are even guys out there that may think about doing you and being me?"
"Hmm...I guess. There are friends that I have known or have known me for awhile and are in my corner. They know more about me than you know....as I laughed".

"You are a piece of work! You report on our sexual encounters. (oh no....what was he going to say?!?) There was a second of silence and then he just starting cracking up. Well baby, now that I know you review our sex sessions, I am just going to have to give you a lot of material on our next meeting to include in your blog." Well the good news...he liked the idea as he put it that he is fucking me and there might be guys out there that want to be him. Wow, I get to stick my cock deep inside of you..over and over and over again. A privilege! " so now he is teasing me but a good tease. Thankfully that improve yourself attitude he has put aside for now. I can't wait to fuck him again.....

Oh we had a talk about cheating men and why he cheats etc. etc. It got interesting....I'll have to tell ya tomorrow......and yes, Elliot Spitzer can up in the conversation. I still can't believe that he didn't think about the money transfering etc. etc. Amazing how a guy's little head can suck the logic out of them!

Secret Affairs The Right Way

$80,000 on prostitutes. WOW! I am still blown away that Elliot Spitzer would spend so much money on sex with prostitutes. And to trust these women wouldn't rat him out? I can't understand why he just didn't have an affair. He certainly could have gotten a woman on his own. I think its the sugar daddy theory there. I pay, I owe no emotion, I owe nothing. Who knows. Life is a circle...what he crusaded for and fought to destroy is what ended up destroying him.

I should write a cheaters guide. I mean common sense things just to not get caught. So today I am compiling my beginner list of recommendations.

1) Married, married, married. I can't emphasize that enough. You have a family, I have a family...we are unhappy, we need more. A perfect setup. A perfect connection. I can't even count how many men I have met on Ashley Madison. I mean quality men. And I have male friends who have met quality women. Having affairs for over a year already. So it works. As long as the two don't fall in love....you are okay. Respect each others lives....and if you part, you part as friends.

2) Phones and emails. Well this has been the biggest downfall for everyone who I know who ever got caught. A text message found. You leave your computer on and your history is checked or your email account is browsed by your wife. Ladies and gentleman....erase your mail and pix.

3) Respect your secret lovers schedule. don't call when you know they may be home. Know when it is safe and when it is not.

4) Part as friends. Hey, reality is....a spouse does not care if the affair was a week or a year ago. so always keep on friendly parting terms.

5) Do not give your life story to someone online....First, Last, Company telephone number...until you know you can trust them.

6) Keep your GPS off while you are traveling to a meeting place. I noticed the otherday my GPS had the motel in my history.......

7) Erase your Inbox for calls received, missed, called.

8) Code your lover in your phone. Yes, I have my lovers coded. One is called...unavalable. The other is called Resticted and Unknowm.....Hmmmm....did you notice they are all spelled wrong? At a quick glance, if anyone looks at your phone.....they won't notice it.

9) Keep to a schedule....don't start keeping strange hours.

10) Have fun!

Okay that's my advice for today.

Mr. Porsche and I are back on track. Mr. Electricity are doing okay. And Mystery Man...hmm...seemed to disappear a little this week. Not a peep out of him all week. But I am not upset. I have those fine memories....

As for work....I got killed today. 6AM a client calling screaming at me. A website problem that actually was his fault. I decided, I am going to start charging a PITA Retainer (Pain In The Ass Clients). Sigh......he actually shook me.

Hubby....oh let's see....he poisoned my daughter this week (she got into food she shouldn't have because he wasn't watching her) and I found out his license was suspended. Is there anyone out there that thinks I should still stay with this man?

Elliot Spitzer,you should have tried Ashley Madison

Breaking news...Elliot Spitzer was associated with a prostitution ring. So what was he thinking? He obviously has never visited my site and learned the first rule of having an affair or cheating. Always cheat with someone who is married. You both are in the same boat and don't want it to get out. Trust a prostitute? Geez,sounds like a sure ticket for disaster. Let's see...he was a man who before becoming Governor would blow the whistle on these people.

Now,now, if you would have just had an affair,that's nothing. You would have fallen in line with every other politician. You should have just visited Ashley Madison. I was kind of looking for more than just a visit from a prostitute. I was looking for him to have paid for the prostitute with tax payer money. Now that is something to really get people crazy. But it doesn't seem like he did that...just hired a high priced whore for the night.

On Ashley, I always say how the guys I have found are very successful. Many are extremely powerful and its mind blowing what the positions they hold. I mean look at my history. A psychologist was on the news today and they really said a lot that made sense. A man of power usually has the feeling of being invinsible. They look for the next high.....the next jolt and excitement. In fact, they say that it is the frontal cortex that causes such impulses to occur. Hmmmm.....I think its the frontal little head that is talking. We are giving them way too much credit of being superior. As a friend explained to me...its simple....men think with their cocks. Blood can only rush in one direction, to one head at a time. And the little one seems to win. Makes sense to me.

It's been a crazy week for me. I have been out on business breakfasts and dinners each day. Mr. Porsche and I are having some problems. He insists on helping me with the bettering of myself. I insulted him when I said...stop treating me like a child. I told him I wanted to talk to him. He thought I was giving him a Dear John . I wanted to straighten everything out. We seem to be out of sync. Hopefully the next few days will straighten things out....

Mental Masturbation Candy

Worked all day and excitingly, a clients check that I have been waiting for came through!! Woo Hoo!! A sense of relief came over me. It's not tons but it certainly feels good to have a little cushion if I need it.

When I came home wasted the other night. Hubby decided to tell me that his old company is attesting his unemployment....hence....its not coming anymore. Now, is he just that stupid or did he think if I was drunk I would say 'don't worry about it".. Well it backfired. In my life, the venom and rage was overwhelming. I lost it. It hurts me the person he brings out in me. this person that I don't even know exists. Beyond wasted---I went off. I think I said all these horrible things. I think I told him I didn't want to be married to him. I don't even remember what else I told him.

Well whatever I said..I think it finally sunk in. He didn't sleep upstairs and didn't talk to me the whole day. However, he did go out early and went to 5 places for a job.

Kept thinking about Bubble Bath Boy today. Sexy, powerful...oh yes, quite a turn on. A challenge? Without a doubt. And one that I need to stay away from. Power turns me on.....truly turns me on because I probably don't have it in my life and I am attracted to those men now. Well, well, well....I did a little research. He's at the top of that big corporate ladder. Geez...I should write a book. The powerful and influential men that I have found. Cheri's Millionaire Scandals!! lol
Actually, I am not pursuing it. It would be a stupid career move AND he would be a lot of work AND he's a player. But he's a good thought to masturbate too!! Mental Maturbation Candy!! Oooooooooo!!

Yes, waking up today....I felt that horniness...that desire.....and I played using my new bullet that I got for my birthday...circles and two fingers.....now I thought when women hit their 40's they are suppose to have an issue with gettin wet. With me, its the opposite. I think all those years of not cumming....were all saved up.

A Bubble Bath Office Meeting

Went back last night to this local place I told you about. The men are gorgeous and worth millions. The ladies are botoxed and fake beyond belief. All have fake boobs and face lifts. Like being in a ceramic doll store.

I was there with people through work. The big VP from the corporation came along as well. We were discussing competition and I was saying how even when I am relaxing in my tub...I hear advertising for the competition. A good looking guy who knows it. Made me laugh because he uses his looks to get over...I can tell. Takes one to know one. I know how to use my smile and charm at times to work a room. He does too. So as I was talking about the competition....he whispers in my ear...honestly, I want to hear more about that tub. What do you want to know? Does it fit two? Oh it definitely could....we should discuss this in your tub he said.....

he was waiting for me to step down....it was a challenge of strength and wit. Oh, I said to him. That's a great idea. We will get a lot accomplished....bubbles, candles...always get the creative juices flowing. We both laughed....here's my card...let me know when you have time to discuss this project. We both laughed. Oh I know his type and I know it well.....

As he left, he shook my hand and with the other raised my business card, winked and smiled. Ohhhhh lala! Nothing is like a flirtatious game of cat and mouse.

So after two shots of expensive Tequila.....I was gone. And I paid for it today...

Mr. Porsche's Birthday Celebration

I guess if your birthday sucks but you have a day before and after that was phenomenal it can overlap in both directions to make it a happy birthday celebration!

My day yesterday was amazing.....my night last night was outrageous and today, I am hung over like I haven't been in a real long time. Yes, I am feeling my head splitting into 500 pieces.......ouch!

Let's see, I met Mr. Porsche yesterday for my birthday. Honestly, it was really nice BUT his control thing wasn't working for my yesterday. The sex was great....he even brought a vibrator and a butt plug to the event! First butt plug I ever had....and since I am so tight there....it took awhile for me to even enjoy it.....

Sex with Mr. Porsche is a little S and M. There is a fine line between ecstasy and pain. And he walks it with me....I've discussed with you before about how when I cum my clit gets so sensitive after....he wants to take me to the next level..I can't figure out if the feeling is good, bad or what. Does it really hurt or am I blocking a mind blowing orgasm? Not sure but I beg him to stop and he keeps going..I can't figure out if I enjoy that or I don't. lmao

What was my birhday present? I stripped for him and he put ten dollar bills in my bra and underwear!!!! It was actually fun....and then he bought me all these toys and these two different birthday cakes.....

However, here's the thing. He knows I want to lose weight and feel more comfortable with my body. However, as we are lying there he is saying how he is going to help me reach my goals. He starts telling me how to eat right (I was sitting there...like are you for real?) Then he said the fatal remark.....don't you want to look perfect for me? BOOOOOMMMM!!!!! Wrong way to play me. You see, I do not look perfect for anyone except for me. I may want to feel more comfortable or improve things about myself...but its for me and me alone! he definitely hit a nerve. It goes back to my childhood....long story. Truth, when I was younger, I was gorgeous and I didn't know it. I constantly tried to improve myself....and now I look back and wish I knew what I know now.

Anyway, the washboard stomach--22 inches is no more. I'm curvy not plus size but three kids left their mark on me. Not having time to work out--my ass is a little flabby and I have love handles...BUT I want to do it for me...dont think I am going to do it for you!!!!!! RRRRRRRRRR.....and btw, he has a little belly....he lost 8 lbs recently...but still...RRRRRRRr

He meant well but he has no idea what he said to me. An old wound....not cool at all. so I don't know what I am going to do with that.

Okay, I am going to write about my night last night in a new post....it was wild...my head is killing me right now....hungover...but I have to get to work. yes, I flirted and flirted and what a night!

Nothing Is Like A Frog...

Yesterday as like a ton of bricks falling on my head. The truth....my family doesn't appreciate me. My husband, who I haven't asked a divorce because I am concerned what he will do with his life...truth is...yesterday he showed his true colors. Buy me a card from the kids. Bring in dinner...No, yesterday made me realize you can't worry about someone who doesn't give a shit about you. Oh he knows I am in rare form. I haven't said a word to him. I have been colder than ice. You know its time to do something when you drive around endlessly and the last place you want to go is to your home. I mean I didn't want to go home last night.

I'm better today. My best friend...made me come over this morning (7AM)...she gave me her car. Can you believe it? It has a lot of mileage but she was going to get nothing for a donation....she signed over the title and said Happy Birthday...I can't take that?!! Oh, I signed it over already....too bad, its yours.

Then I came home....and Mr. Porsche called. Been at work since 5AM....get your ass in gear, its your birthday (I told him I would change it to today for him!) Let's go, lunch and sex....I'm your for 3 hours...I apologized for last night...he wouldn't answer...so tough he is...no mush...except when we are alone...I make him be the pussycat...

And then I open my email and I got the best present of all. An email back from DigEM! I cried...but he makes me cry happy tears. He misses me too...just hearing that he is okay and that he thinks of me....made me feel so loved. He said he prays for me everyday that I find the happiness that I deserve. I miss my pea connection! But that's the thing about people who really care about each other...I just want his happiness. I want him to be fulfilled and his life to be on track. And if I only hear from him once in a while...that's okay. I know that's the way it has to be. I still feel the pea connection. And I have a confession, when I am really down in the dumps....I saved two voicemails from him on my phone. So, listening to them makes me giggle and smile...

Okay, gotta get ready for work and to see Mr. Porsche. Mr. Electric is out of town on a family emergency...when he called me last night, he was so worried about me. Wished he could run over to me....he's in another state this week. But he emailed and checked on me and called again last night to make sure that I was okay.

Usually I am a strong person..tough..independent...roll with the punches. Yesterday was a breakdown and my frogs saw a different side of me. But they didn't run...they stepped up to the plate...I am a very lucky woman.

Birthday Bust..

I love Birthdays...it is your special day. Yesterday was the best birthday present. And today, my family barily wished me a happy birthday. I felt so neglected, I felt so unwanted. How much lonelier can it get when your family ignores you. No cards, no small cakes, no dinner. What it makes me realize it..it really can't get any lonelier when I get divorced.

I did something I never did before. I went to the movies by myself. I went to see the Other Boleyn Girls. I thought an old romance would be what I need. Um...they never mentioned that everyone got beheaded...lmao It turned out to be so damn depressing.

I went left the movie and called Mr. Porsche. I was walking around in a store and he said it would be hard to meet tomorrow but he would try. Well I felt like a chore to him too. So, out of no where I started to cry. I told him it was no biggie, we would meet next week....but it became a real disaster. He knew I was crying...I didn't want him to know. IT was bad. I felt worse than before. Like the bottom of his things to do list. You know, the thing you never get to.

Hubby took my son to sports. Oh, I got a call from his teacher saying he was failing. That made me feel evem more like a failure. I flipped....I started to drive home and I was on the phone with him and I just blurted it out. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore. We are done. We are so done I',m sorry its over. But I couldnt say the D word. He said Family Counseling...I said..its too late. That was three years ago. I can't do it anymore.

He came home but I haven't said a word. Yes, on my birthday, I told him it was over. Now I have to make my moves...

So a birthday bust. Yesterday seems centuries ago. Well after everything hit the fan....my bosses all started to call me and sing happy birthday. They are taking me out tomorrow night.....to that hot spot.

I got a surprise email yesterday morning. It was DigEm to wish me a happy birthday and let me know he was okay. Happy tears came to my eyes. Yes, I called today. He didn't answer...I just wanted to hear his voice and say hi. He made me so happy. So I decided....yesterday was amazing....that was my real birthday.

As for Mr. Porsche...I know we will see each other tomorrow. He felt like crap that I was crying. okay off to bed. Take away my lack of happy birthdays from my family and my birthday was okay. Mr electicity even called!

Sex Like I Have Never Had Before....

I can barely walk last night and this morning. Last week, I thought sex was amazing with Mystery Man. Today, it was a blissful sex marathon. We usually spend 3 hours, today my present was 6 hours. No we didn't just lay around...we fucked, sucked and did so much the entire time. I don't think we missed any position and we actually discovered a few more that were amazing. I have never left where my pussy was aching....today, still wet and dripping....my pussy reached its maximum capacity!! I couldn't fuck another minute...our last screw ended up us giggling and laughing because we realized our cup had just runneth over....we were sexed out! Now it takes a lot to get to that point. So you can imagine how many times we fucked. Six condoms (and we were using them for awhile)...no he didn't cum six times (geez) but he was hard as a rock....and he knows how to use it.

There was a twist to our usually meetings today. Besides from the sex....we laughed. Now we have laughed before.....but I am talking about like belly laughing and snorting and laughing so hard that tears were coming to my eyes. We both were laughing and it was so nice. Gotta tell ya, he is hilarious. Examples...in a conversation he called me Little Blow Peep.....then Betty Cocker...something about playing a Skin flute as my talent, his the Skin Tuba!...Honestly, I laugh because I love to be happy but this was a different laugh. This was that hysterical...good for the soul laughing.

The sexual day was well no words can describe it. Every position, at least 15-20 times we screwed and 69nd for the longest time with me on top and him on top. With my arms pinned under his legs and my head off the bed.

He blindfolded me...what a bizarre feeling....liked it but was very hard at first to allow it...a little panic....but i worked through it and it was hot....super hot. He led me to the end of the bed, he undressed me....piece by piece seducing me as he went. WOW! And then he placed me back down and began to eat me. Not having my sight and just the feel each lick and suck was magnified. I was gasping....of course he made me cum and then he pulled me to the end of the bed...finding a position that was unique--not sure why....but just moving over an inch makes a world of difference.....I was kind of on my side, with my leg up and he was from behind or in front of me going deep,deep, deep inside of me. Finding spots that no man has gone before!! It was amazing....

Then he led me to the floor and he fucked me from behind....both of us cumming as he pounded me with his cock...my juices were flowing and so were his....the feeling of his cock entering me was so hot....I needed him,I wanted him....deeper, deeper, faster,faster.

We then proceeded to fucking in the jacuzzi and this tile area they have, then with my legs totally above my head (i knocked the painting off the wall)...he loves that I am so flexible (left over from my dancing days) and he takes advantage of that...with my legs split open--with my legs totally over my head,one leg up in the air...pumping me, me moaning and screaming more baby, more baby....my favorite position was my legs up in the air and him pumping me like a frog....how ironic is that...the frog position!!

Yes, I have had sex with other people (duh) but with him...it is seriously an unbelievable sexual connection. He makes me cum over and over and over. I should take notes as we are fucking....how many different ways I can cum! For a girl who never orgasmed, I made up for it just in this one session!

For my birthday cake, he brought chocolate frosting and we covered his cock up in frosting and he sang happy birthday to me....and then I ate my whole cake. Oh yummy! I love sucking on his cock and coincidently, he can't get enough of me doing it too! I am expanding my sucking talents...I am getting pretty good....he loves when I just suck the head tight and over and over again..nice and wet making slurping noises. He loves when I go down and do tongue twirls while he is in my mouth. Then I go up and own his shaft with my lips....(the inside for softness)....and our my newest practice....deep throating. It drives him wild!!!!! But I have to work on the gag reflex. I was the type when I saw the doctor coming with that stick, I would begin gagging.....negotiating at a young age not to use it.

It amazes me how he can tell how far into my throat he is. By the end of the day...baby, I got his whole cock in my mouth,my gag reflex wasn't really there and he was down my throat, I could feel him moving my uvula out of the way...yes, seeing him love it so much was a high for me.

There was so much we did...oh...I love it fast and deep but what really turns me on also is when he goes slow and pulls all the way out and then goes back in and then pulls out and then thrusts back in....its the separation of my walls that are so hot and sexual.

And with all that, there is a part of me that is still angry with him. He is so damn stubborn...but I will think about that another day. Honestly, I know there is only so long I can put up with his Mystery but for now...well, I had my day in sexual paradise!

And its my BIRTHDAY!!! WOO HOO!!! Sadly, not a word from my son or husband (major war broke out last night here..I almost called the cops). There is a lot of shit but not today, today is my birthday!! I believe in a stress free (as much as possible day). That is my present to myself!

A sexual birthday to remember

I am meeting Mystery Man tomorrow.....yes, its a sex marathon for my birthday...his email read:

Are you sure you can handle getting sucked, fucked, licked, nibbled, eaten, slapped, rubbed, probed, pounded, teased, spread, flipped, bounced, ridden, mounted, grinded, squeezed, tweaked, bent over, face fucked, finger fucked, taken against your will, blindfolded, tied up, kissed, massaged for hours upon hours? Did I miss anything?



Damm this man knows how to rev me up and smile!!!

Here's to birthdays!!

Sex or Diamonds for my Birthday?

ALONE!

Yes, I am scared. Scared of being alone and on my own with my kids. Damn, I had more drive for independence when I was 17! Had a talk with my parents...tried to tell them I am really thinking about a divorce. They didn't want to hear about it. Geez, I never tried to talk to them about things my entire life. I was looking for some support. They wanted to go into denial. Mom started to talk about coupons and sales in the supermarket. Oh, they would be there for me.....but this is too earth shattering for them.

I am thinking about taking off a day this week and checking into a motel. Take a day to just think and strategize. Take a day to try and find out which way I am going to go. A mental health day.

Mystery Man has been sooooo attentive. Sending me the most hysterical things. We had the closest to a heart to heart that we have ever had. I know something is up with him. I know that he is very dark. He definitely reminds me of the bad boys I used to play with as a teenager. Truth is, I think he is a manic depressive or bi polar. I know he is Obsessive Compulsive and even a little hyper. But if he had either of those disorders...it would explain a lot. I'm okay with it....it doesn't effect us....I wish he knew that but you don't just confront someone with that because if you are wrong...oh man, that's not nice....lol

Now here's a kicker. Mr. Porshe has an out of town convention on my birthday. He is trying to get a worker to go for him..but its not lookig too good. He was still trying..I felt bad. So, I called him and said....did you hear my birthday was changed this year.....a day later....yes, I pouted at first. He made me laugh, he told me and there was dead silence on the phone. And he says...now stop pouting I am still working on it. I didn't even realize it, I was pouting...he was right.

MM said we are going to play naked twister to celebrate.....I guess we celebrate my birthday every meeting so I shouldn''t expect anything special.

Mr. Porsche was talking to me as I was strolling through the store waiting for my computer. What are ya doing? I am looking for a birthday present to buy myself. He said...whatever you are looking at, I will pick it up for you! Oh, so sweet. I could never let him do that. I wanted to say to him...well you should watch what you say, I am looking at a 32" flat screen (which is what I was looking at). But then he would have known what I was looking at and I don't want him buying that for me. So I giggled inside. Just the gesture was so damn sweet. You see, the tv broke in my room. So, I now have...ready for this...a 13 inch. lol It's pathetic. Surround sound, a huge stereo and dvd and this little crappy tv. For me its a reminder that I have to keep working harder (as a squint to see it across the room!!)

Now, I know many people fantasize about hot sex sessions...and yeah, I do too. But maybe because I have been getting great sex lately....I fantasize of being held. Is that corny? I fantasize of Mr. Porsche just holding me tight. Why? I think it would be the only place now ha I would feel safe and protected for just a few minutes. Like he would take over and protect me from the world so I can relax and re-fuel. I guess the thought of someone just holding me and allowing me to not be in charge for just a few minutes. As if they are taking me out of the world....and just watching over me for 10 minutes. To me, that would be the perfect birthday gift. So, did you expect me to want an hour of being eaten out to orgasm over and over OR lavished in diamonds? LOL

Why do I have a feeling I am going to be bummed on my birthday? I feel it coming...a little sadness and emptiness. Quite frankly, I miss DigEm this week. I don't know what sparked that but he has been on my mind pretty steady.....I hope he's ok.